A Future Earned
by CCBug
Summary: Commander Kate Shepard has destroyed the Reapers and the galaxy is safe once more. But as those she left behind struggle to put back the pieces of their lives, the ones closest to her soon learn that their Shepard is not lost after all. If she can survive her injuries, she and her crew have a future to chase, and the fall out from her choices will shape them all.
1. After

**Author's Note:**

**I just want to take a second and explain a few basics here. My Shepard was a Paragon, saved Wrex, destroyed the Collector base and cured the Genophage. The groups present when the push to retake Earth was made included the Geth, Quarians, Krogan, Asari, Turian, some Salarian, and of course, the Alliance.**

**I chose the Destroy option and was thrilled to be able to reach the 'perfect' ending, meaning that my Shepard was shown drawing a breath in the infamous cut scene at the close of the game. It's from that point the story will begin.**

**I'm approaching the destruction/damage to the relays and end of synthetic life from the perspective that a majority of technology would still be completely functional. It's from this viewpoint that I will be writing this story.**

**Thanks!**

**After**

Admiral Hackett sat in his briefing room, exhausted. It'd been seven hours since the Crucible had engaged and the Reapers had been defeated. Or so they hoped. Reports were still pouring in, their volume increasing as his ship approached the Sol system.

The mass relays were currently inoperable, though it was still unknown if this was temporary or not. Hackett's star ship was one of many the Alliance had outfitted with an FTL drive, so, while his return to Earth would take hours longer than normal, he would at least be able to do so soon.

The jump coordinates for each part of the united fleet had differed for safety's sake. Common sense dictated that the immense war party depart the system when the Crucible was active, its powers not fully understood. Should the weapon have failed, their jump increased their odds of surviving, and so they'd separated and dispersed to different locations.

Contact with a majority of the more distant ships had not yet been reestablished, but Hackett didn't find this alarming. Given the condition of the communication relays in the Sol system and the other heavily occupied systems, it was a miracle that communication occurred at all.

He'd left orders with the remaining Hammer units to secure the Citadel as soon as possible, assuming it hadn't been destroyed when the Crucible discharged. Data seemed to indicate, though reports were still very contradictory, that the Citadel was intact and in low orbit over Earth.

A shuttle flight to the moon took less than an hour, and the Citadel was in even closer proximity. If the information was accurate, and the massive station was still there, it would be of critical priority to occupy it. This would be a crucial component to securing Sol, for until it was proven otherwise, Hackett would operate on the belief that the Reapers could return at any moment.

The helmsman announced through a ship-wide announcement that they'd crossed back into Sol, and Hackett smiled quietly at the resounding cheers that echoed throughout his ship. He also felt the same exhilaration as the crew, but instead of celebrating, he silently sorted the data pads he'd finished reading from those that still needed his attention, knowing that there would be a new wave of updates arriving.

Ten minutes later, the soft 'whoosh' of the briefing door was heard, and Hackett looked up to see his XO hurrying in, a pad held out as he approached.

"Sir!" he cried. "Sir! They've found her! They found Shepard!"

Hackett leapt to his feet and snatched the pad. "What's her status?"

"It's looks bad, sir, she may not survive her injuries, but for now, she's alive. Hammer team three located her about an hour after we made the jump," his XO explained. "They uh, they also located Admiral Anderson."

Hackett noted the change in the young man's tone. "Is David still with us?" he asked softly, dreading the answer he was certain was coming.

"No sir, I'm sorry, he isn't."

Hackett sighed, the pain at losing a career long friend stabbing at his heart. He sighed again, knowing the time for mourning was later. "Were they found together? Any ideas of what happened there?"

"It doesn't say, sir. But the data stream is nearly clogged with the incoming reports," the man explained. "So we're sure to learn more as we complete our approach."

"Tell the helm to make orbit over Earth, rather than Luna. I'll take a shuttle down to London. Have you got an ETA?"

"Three hours, sir."

Hackett nodded. "Where are they treating her?"

"One report states London, but a newer one has her in Reykjavik. I'll get you that as soon as I can confirm."

"Good. That'll be our first stop, seeing Shepard. I'll want a report from her medical team," the admiral stated. "Then we can make our way to London. Keep me posted."

"Yes, sir."

"And Thomas? Send word to the _Normandy_," Hackett ordered. "It'll take a day or so for them to get the news, assuming they're at their coordinates, but make sure they get the word. And forward any reports about her condition directly onto Major Alenko's private email, he'll want to know everything he can, as they come in."

"Absolutely sir, I'll do so immediately."

The door closed behind the departing XO and Hackett sat back down.

"I'll be damned, Shepard," he muttered. "You made it."

He shook his head, astonished at the news. Her survival would be a huge boost to all of humanity's spirit, assuming she stayed alive and recovered. Picking up the newest data pad, he felt more eager than ever to learn all he could of what had happened to his home.

**xXx**

Three weeks passed before the _Normandy_ was ready for flight.

Short distance communication was working again, and the Alliance ships orbiting their location had begun to forward the massive amounts of data the _Normandy_ hadn't received while its systems were down. Traynor was working closely with Garrus and Tali to sort the information; a 'triage' system was how they described their plan of organization to Kaidan.

Prior to the assault on Sol, Admiral Hackett had ordered that all Alliance vessels return to Earth as soon as the success of the Crucible could be confirmed. The Normandy had suffered tremendous damage with the loss of EDI and even the most basic of systems had been affected.

Communication between the _Normandy_ and other ships within close proximity had been established on the first day she'd been grounded. Hundreds of crew hours had been logged on repairs since, and the work was still far from completed.

Normandy made her last jump through the relay to the pre-arranged coordinates, along with the seventy ships that weren't entirely made up of Alliance military, a mixture of Turian and Geth vessels joining them.

The Turian ships had already begun their long journey back to their own space. None of the Geth ships had survived and it seemed that whatever the Crucible had done to the synthetic Reapers – and EDI - had also destroyed their newest allies.

Reports had been slow in reaching the undamaged vessels orbiting their location. It was only the confirmation that the Reapers were gone that allowed the Normandy's commanding officers to consider leaving the safe haven of the jungle planet they'd made their emergency landing on.

Since then, the new CO, Major Alenko, had verified that the relays were damaged and inoperable, and that the Citadel, while still in orbit above Earth, was in much the same condition as the relays it had overseen.

Nothing received appeared to contain any information on Commander Shepard and the crew struggled to accept the most likely scenario regarding their leader's fate. It was a cloud over them all, knowing that she'd died saving them all from the Reapers.

The FTL drive had been rerouted as well as it could be without entering dry dock. Engineer Adams had created a complex system able to compensate for EDI's loss. It would take approximately eleven days at the engine's fastest obtainable speed to return to the outer rim of Alliance space.

But before the close-knit crew returned to Sol, before their ship was ordered into dry dock and they were reassigned, the crew that had become a family under their lost Shepard had one final task to make ready for their journey home.

Gathered together, and standing at the memorial wall outside the crew's quarters, Admiral David Anderson's name was slid into place with great reverence. His name was added to the other heroes and friends lost to this war and many offered a small story or thought on the popular leader.

Kaidan Alenko took a deep breath and stepped forward again, this time, the placard to be hung for Commander Katherine Shepard. Clutching it in his hand, he lovingly gazed at her name, tears hot in his eyes as he ran his hand over her name.

He could sense the others behind him watching, waiting, and, with a ragged sigh, his breath jerking in his chest, he prayed for the strength to place it. Lifting the placard, he again paused, his eyes locked with the slot it was intended for, but still he couldn't make himself insert her name.

"Kaidan?" prompted Liara quietly from beside him. "We don't have to put it up now. It can wait until you're ready."

Kaidan shook his head. "No, everyone's here," he said softly. "I just…"

"To be honest, Major, I'm not ready to see her name up there just yet," James announced. "I'm not willing to admit defeat."

"The Citadel was practically destroyed," Kaidan replied, his voice hoarse.

"No, the Citadel is busted all to hell, but it _wasn't_ destroyed," Joker reminded him. "Not that _that_ matters, though. Shit, I watched her get sucked into space and die a fiery death, only to have her standing in front of me two years later, like it never happened. You'd have thought she'd skinned her knee, not _died_."

"We need to do this while we're all together," the major rasped. "She'd want us to."

"I don't know about that, Alenko, Shepard was rather fond of living," Garrus countered. "The very last thing she wanted was to die; she said she'd done it before, and had found it pretty damned boring."

Kaidan snorted, a reluctant smile tugging at his lips. "I can just hear her saying that," he began before he turned and stared at them. "I know she wanted to live, we wanted more time, a life, you know? God knows I wish…I wish…"

Liara placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Let's apply logic. We know Anderson died because their comms were still active at the time, and we heard their conversation with the Illusive Man. Shepard was still talking to Hackett _after_ Anderson died, _well_ after, and her signal cut out mid-sentence, which could be for a number of other reasons."

"Not to mention _somebody_ turned that thing on," James noted. "And the Crucible didn't fire for a good, what, like ten minutes after we heard the last message from her?"

Liara shrugged. "As we don't know the full extent of what happened, perhaps putting her name up _is_ premature. Let us be honest, it _is_ Shepard, after all. If there's even the slightest chance of surviving such a thing, she's the only person I know who would have found a way."

"Don't put it up, sir!" called Gabby. "Give her a chance!"

"Yes, I'm with Gabby, sir! We should wait!" called a weapons officer. A few cheers were shouted.

James spoke up next. "Let's wait to hear for sure, Major! God knows, she's beaten every other damned odd!"

Garrus's mandibles flexed. "The lieutenant makes a good point, Kaidan. I say, it stays down until we _have_ to put it up."

Kaidan looked to each face and smiled slightly. "She'd want to do what's best for morale, for each of you. So, okay, what do you, her crew, want to do?"

"Keep it down!"

"We'll wait, sir, to find out!"

The crew and officers quickly relayed their consensus, and Kaidan stepped away from the wall, the placard tight in his grasp.

Traynor waited until the others had fallen quiet before she stepped forward. "Sir, I think it's pretty clear we'd all like to wait. What's the harm?"

"Okay," he said. "Okay, we'll wait. She'd have been..." he realized he was speaking of her in the past tense and cleared his throat. "She's lucky to have all of you believing in her."

Kaidan squared his shoulders and turned back to the wall, his eyes focusing on David Anderson's name, a sigh of relief released from his chest. "Not today, Kate," he whispered to himself.

Garrus, seeing Shepard's lover struggling, looked to keep the group's focus away from him, and turned to their pilot. "Joker? Did you ever tell Traynor about the time Anderson punched Udina's lights out?"

"What? No!" Traynor exclaimed, turning to the Turian and pilot with a grin. "Joker! You've been holding out! Do tell!"

"Let's go to the mess, we can all swap a few stories," Garrus suggested, and, as they all filed past, the turian placed a reassuring hand on Alenko's shoulder, before following the others around the corner.

Kaidan watched his crew move by, nodding or greeting those who met his eyes or spoke his name, but didn't follow.

_His crew,_ he thought sadly, his practiced smile slipping once he was alone.

Thinking of her again, he took advantage of everyone's distraction and returned to the war room, where the cash-load of reports from Sol and the fleet were still being downloaded. To his surprise, he spotted Javik standing at the center console, his eyes gazing at the holographic image of the Crucible.

"So it is clear," the Prothean began, "that your people have succeeded where mine failed. I am most pleased to have witnessed the end of the Reapers."

"Without your people's warnings and knowledge, none of this would have been possible," Kaidan replied evenly. "That doesn't sound like failure to me."

"Perhaps not," he said. "The commander told me to think of it as a delayed victory, one still firmly belonging to the Protheans. She was concerned that I viewed the sacrifices my people had made had been done so in vain."

"Sounds like her," Kaidan said. "So, was she right? Do you believe your people's deaths were in vain?"

"Not any longer. Now they are all at rest, and I will soon join them," Javik answered. "Is your ceremony over?

"It is."

"For what it is worth, I am sorry, Major, that the commander went before me. I know you were joined with her. She was a bold warrior, and she will be honored in the ages to come."

Kaidan gaped for a moment and recovered his shock at the normally aloof man's kind words. "Thank you," he replied slowly. "I'm still hoping she's alive, to be honest."

The large man nodded once. "She has defeated death in the past," he agreed. "While I do not believe it is likely she has done so again, I will not try to dissuade you from your hope."

Kaidan looked down at his boots. "Thanks, Javik," he murmured and stepped closer to the console, eager to end their awkward conversation.

"Major?" Javik asked. "The commander and I spoke before the _Normandy_ arrived in Sol, and I asked her for what did she fight. You should know her answer was for you, and for your friends. She desired a future with you. She had hope for more time, for life."

Kaidan stared intensely at the display screen, words and questions caught behind the lump in his throat, and he nodded once, unable to speak.

"I have distracted you from your duties, my apologies. You have my sympathy, Major. You all do."

**xXx**

She could hear voices sometimes, but their words were jumbled and held little meaning for her.

The fog she'd been lost in tried to lure her to sleep, to ignore them, but she never did. She strained and struggled to hear what was being said, and she tried to awaken, but the voices would grow silent before she could understand, before she could pull free.

She worried, uncertain of what had happened to her, to everyone. She'd made her decision, had felt the heat of its fire, and had clearly heard the words of the woman who had made the intense pain she felt everywhere finally stop. It still roared back, the ferocity of it so intense she wailed, but she didn't fight it.

If she hurt, then she knew wasn't dead.

When the fog was thinner, she could remember things. She could wonder if her choice had been the best for the people the memories were of, if they were safe, and more urgently she worried that _he_ was safe.

She could smell things, all manner of things. She could smell soap and detergent, the different odors of people near her. It occurred to her she was being taken care of, and that, too, helped her to know she was alive.

Today the fog was harder to fight, and she couldn't understand what was happening, but she was sure she could hear Admiral Hackett. It made her wish she could open her eyes. But she hadn't been able to, despite all her effort; the fog was pulling her back under.

And finally, exhausted from resisting its draw, she slipped back down and slept.

_**Thank you to Lisa, for being willing to beta yet another story for me, despite not being familiar with the Mass Effect universe. Thanks to Liso66 for double checking the canon is true and for her help in characterizations. I'm very grateful to each of you for your help.**_

_**Thanks for reading! **_


	2. Hope

**Hope**

The Normandy was three days into her flight to the Sol system and Tali, Traynor, and Joker were sorting the stacks of data pads. They'd overseen the initial downloads, and then, realizing the sheer volume of information was far more than they could handle, had recruited all non-essential crew to upload each report to the pads.

Most pads now had multiple reports on them, making it almost impossible to ensure everything had been reviewed.

Once they were in flight, the streams of current Alliance reports had become endless. Real-time information was being pulled again, and the crew could only sort the older information by date and sender, hoping to allow the officers enough time to pick through them all.

Garrus entered the briefing room, his arms full of pads. "Here's what's been wiped. Where do you want them?"

Tali gestured to an empty corner of the room. "Just put them in that corner, and thanks."

"It's insane how much of this is just crap," Joker commented. "I mean, who freakin' _spams_ people during a massive battle? Who gives a shit about your karma for not forwarding something when you've got a giant Reaper coming out of orbit!"

Garrus chuckled but Traynor replied. "I don't know, that might be a good time to _not_ have bad karma. You might have been less likely to get turned into a husk, you never know."

"You've got a point there, Specialist," Garrus laughed. "Could have made all the difference in the world."

"Whatever, man. If Harbinger comes a callin', you're screwed whether you're an asshole or not," Joker said. "I mean, no amount of karma in the galaxy…"

"Oh my God," Traynor exclaimed, jumping to her feet. She furiously read the data pad as Garrus and Joker exchanged confused looks. "_Oh my God_!"

"Traynor, what the hell is it?" Joker demanded.

Garrus stood up and looked over her shoulder, his mandibles tightening as he read the report in her hand. "Go get Alenko, now!" he ordered, taking the pad from her hand as she ran from the room.

The Turian looked from the pad to Joker, and grinned. "It's from Hackett's XO, Joker," he explained. "She's alive, Shepard is alive!"

"Hell, yes she is!" Joker yelled, pumping his fist in the air. "Holy shit! Holy shit!"

"Ke'lah! How? Where is she?" Tali asked.

The door behind them swished open and Alenko ran in, Traynor on his heels. "What's going on? Traynor said it's urgent."

"Read for yourself, Kaidan," Garrus replied, passing the pad to him.

Kaidan's eyes skimmed the report and then came to an abrupt halt. "Oh my God, Kate," he breathed, staggering back a step. He felt waves of joy wash over him, and he began to laugh. "She…she _made_ it!"

"Where? What happened to her?" Tali repeated.

"It says a Hammer team found her on the Citadel! She's critical, but she's _alive_!" he said quickly before reading the rest of the pad. "Specialist! There's another report that was sent to my private account, it says it should have more details!"

"Right here!" Traynor declared, pulling a large stack of pads toward her. "This is your personal correspondence, sir. It should be in here somewhere, assuming we've downloaded it. Who's the sender?"

"Staff Lieutenant Wiggins," Garrus replied.

Kaidan and the others grabbed from the pile and skimmed the basic information.

"Here it is!" Joker said, passing the pad to Kaidan. "Hurry up, man!"

Kaidan's eyes scanned the first few lines and his heart fell as he did. "It's bad," he whispered. "It's real bad. God damn it."

"Bad's better than dead," Joker countered. "Read it!"

Kaidan finished the brief report and blanched, his medic background cataloging the vast trauma Shepard had suffered. "It's a miracle, the shape she's in, I mean…" he paused, taking a deep breath. "It's…most people would be dead."

"The commander isn't 'most people'," Garrus said. "We all know that. What's she facing, Kaidan? How bad is bad?"

Kaidan cleared his throat and read the message from Hackett to the others.

_Major Alenko,_

_I wanted to personally let you know that Commander Shepard was rescued from the wreckage of the Citadel approximately two hours after the Crucible discharged. The details are still coming together, and my XO will forward any new information available to you as he receives it._

_I'm sending the medic's notes below, and will send more to you as I can. She's now being treated on the SSV Nightingale, but her physicians are very cautious about raising hope. In short, the injuries are severe. She's still got some fighting to do, but knowing Shepard, she'll beat the odds they've given her._

_Get back to the Sol system ASAP._

_A. Hackett_

"Is the report attached, sir?" Traynor hesitantly asked.

Kaidan touched the pad, and both the transcript and audio file from the responding medic appeared. "Yes," he muttered. "But it's just details of her injuries."

"Which are?" Joker asked. "Come on, Alenko!"

"I'll just play it, it's the audio from the response team," Kaidan said, and keyed up the file.

There was tremendous background noise, it was apparent the large Hammer squad was staying close together. A woman's voice came over the ruckus, and she could be heard excusing herself from the others. The background noise lessened and she cleared her throat.

"_Commander Katherine Shepard was located via her last known communicator coordinates, she was found approximately three hundred feet from the body of an unidentified human male, and that of Admiral David Anderson. Anderson appears to have died from an abdominal gunshot wound, the other male from a gunshot wound to the chest. I began treating Shepard at approximately 19:34 hours, current time is 19:58. Medical report is as follows."_

There was a pause as a man's voice interrupted the woman, who quickly answered his question, before she returned to the report.

"_Initial vitals found blood pressure fifty over thirty-three, temperature ninety-six point two,_" the woman said in a detached tone. "_IV saline drip started, morphine pushed via drip. Multiple lacerations on all extremities, single puncture wound to the left lower abdominal quadrant, approximately four inches deep, with a shard of body armor lodged inside. Two medi-gel applied, wound then taped for surgeons."_

"Shit," Joker whispered.

"_Blood pressure indicates significant blood loss, in excess than her more obvious wounds should account for. Coagulant administered, and while clotting remains slow, blood pressure is gradually climbing. Third-degree burns on left side upper quadrant, on left shoulder and portions of her back. Her under-armor has melded with her skin."_

"Goddesses," whispered Liara, who had quietly joined them and was standing with Tali. "And yet she lives?"

Kaidan paused the recording and looked up at them all, blinking slowly before he nodded. "Yeah. There's more."

"_Right orbit maxillary bone broken, crushed nasal cartilage. Right eyeball appears to be ruptured. Left pupil blown, indicating a brain injury. Right wrist and right elbow broken, second and third fingers of right hand are missing, wounds appear to have been cauterized. Pause report."_

The recording was interrupted by the sounds of metal shifting and the woman giving quick directions to those around her.

"_She's as good as she's gonna get for now, let's move her before that bulkhead comes down!" _Her voice drew closer to the microphone again, but her words were for her patient. "_Okay, Commander, if you can hear me, we're taking you home. Just hang on, we'll get you there. You're safe."_

The woman again issued a few orders and it was clear from the background noise the group was on the move. Voices in the background were barking out orders, and the blaring of multiple communicators was clearly heard. The woman continued, this time she was panting, and the cadence of rapid boot falls joined the noise.

"_Resume report. Patient is being evacuated via stabilizer backboard to shuttle and transported to closest facility, location still being determined, most likely the SSV Nightingale. Report filed by responding Flight Nurse Lieutenant Commander Nancy Helms, Hammer unit three. Report closed. Go! Let's go! It's coming down!"_

The recording ended with a tremendous crash and static, before cutting off. For several moments, everyone was quiet.

"She's tough," Garrus said, his tone falsely confident. "She'll make it, Kaidan."

Kaidan tucked the data pad into a cargo pocket and stood tall, clearing his throat. "Joker, get back to the helm, do what you can to trim our flight time, and send an acknowledgement to Hackett about Shepard. Tali, would you see if Engineer Adams could use your expertise? Garrus, calibrate…something, okay? We need to get home, she needs us."

"On it," Garrus said, leaving the room and passing through to security. Tali helped Joker up and together they left for their stations. Liara and Traynor were watching Kaidan and he gestured to the piles of pads.

"Let's get through these data pads," he ordered. "Hackett said he'd send on what he could. Let's find it."

"Yes, of course," Liara replied, moving to the other side of the table.

Traynor returned to her work, a huge smile on her face. "Major? I know she's in a bad way," she said, and Kaidan looked up. "But aren't you glad we waited to put up her placard?"

"Yeah, let's just hope it stays that way," he whispered, his mind pushing back at the dark thought. "Now let's get home."

**xXx**

Miranda Lawson was standing outside of the medical station in Reykjavik, looking up at the battered and blackened tower before her.

She was still hesitant when dealing with the Alliance. Her assistance on the Crucible had been mostly welcomed, but the people around her had still treated her with suspicion, not that she faulted them for that. Her time with Cerberus had ended, but like everything The Illusive Man had touched, there was a taint left on her for working with him.

But now her duties to the Crucible were over, and if the rumors swirling on the extranet were anywhere near the mark, then Commander Shepard had somehow survived, and, if this were true, she would need Miranda's help.

So, hesitant or not, Miranda was going into the building.

Oriana walked quietly beside her as they entered through the boarded-up glass doors, the hustle and bustle of the facility moving around them. Nurses and medics walked with purpose, and the sisters slowly meandered their way to an information desk, where Miranda cleared her throat to draw the attention of the young ensign who manned the desk.

He looked up and offered a practiced grin before stepping over to them. "Good morning. How may I help you?"

Miranda smiled in return. "Hello. My name is Miranda Lawson, and it's my understanding that you're treating Commander Shepard at this facility. If that's correct, then I have critical expertise that should be offered. Please call your commanding officer."

"Expertise, eh?" the man scoffed.

"Yes."

The ensign sniggered before he shook his head. "Sorry, ma'am, but there's no commander here. Have a nice day."

Oriana crossed her arms. "Really? You mean to tell me that in this _whole_ place, filled with military wounded, there's not one single commander?" she asked.

The man stood straight and frowned at both women. "Listen, Ms. uh, Lawson, was it? We're _not_ answering questions, so if that's all, we're very busy here, and it's best you leave."

"I didn't ask you a question," Miranda argued. "I offered to help."

"She's the one who led Project Lazarus for Cerberus, you know," Oriana supplied, to which Miranda barely suppressed a groan.

"You're with Cerberus?" the ensign snapped before he turned and cupped his hands around his mouth. "Guard!"

Miranda's eyes narrowed as she looked to see several guards approaching. "I'm _not_ with bloody Cerberus! I've been working on the Crucible with Admiral Hackett for the last six months, not that you'll care." She groaned in annoyance and rolled her eyes. "Fine, call the goon squad over, and fetch your superior while you're at it."

The ensign shook his head. "Explain it to them, _Cerberus_."

"I will, you little prat," she said sourly and turned, holding her hands up defensively as the three guards arrived at her side. "Hello, my name is Miranda Lawson. I don't want any trouble, but there's been a misunderstanding. You'll need to call your OOD."

"She said she's with _Cerberus_," the ensign said quickly.

The guards visibly tensed, and several bystanders moved away.

"No, I _didn't_ say that, not in the least. But I did ask you to call your superior, which you've not done yet."

"_Are_ you with Cerberus?" A female soldier asked, looking between the ensign and Miranda.

"No, I'm not. I'm here to offer my aid, but as I said to the ensign here, I'll need to speak with someone a little higher up the chain of command. No offense."

"None taken, ma'am. Why don't we go to one of the back offices in admin, and we'll just ask a couple of questions."

"Of course," Miranda replied graciously, and gestured to her sister. "This is my sister, and I'd like her to come with us."

"Yes ma'am, but we will need to check your IDs and search you for weapons. Will you comply?"

"We will," Miranda said. "May I take out my identification?"

The soldier nodded and Miranda quickly displayed her ID, as did Oriana. The woman nodded, taking the cards as she plucked her communicator off of her shoulder piece. "One moment, please," she said to them, before turning to the other two guards with her. "Go ahead and take them back, I'll call this in and come join you. Search them, too."

A half-hour later, the guard met them in the back office, a tall man in a medical uniform entering behind her.

"Ms. Lawson?" the man began, as Miranda stood. "My name is Dr. Keith Ledeaux, and I'm the assistant to the chief of staff here," he explained. He turned to the three guards. "You're dismissed. Thank you."

"It's a pleasure, Doctor," she replied, shaking his offered hand as the guards quietly left the room, shutting the door behind them.

"Are you _the_ Miranda Lawson? You led the research and development of Project Lazarus?"

"I am and I did. Is Shepard here?"

Dr. Ledeaux nodded. "She is, but not officially."

"It may not be official, but the word's out there. She's got a lot of people hoping the Alliance will confirm it," Miranda said.

"I'd guess we'll announce it once she's out of danger."

She nodded. "Fair enough, folks need good news right now. It would be a horrible letdown if she didn't make it. Tell me, though, that someone's at least reached out to her crew? They're a very tight-knit group."

"So we've heard, but I couldn't say," Dr. Ledeaux admitted. "Admiral Hackett has been here, and continues to check her progress. Now, dare I hope you're here to help us?"

"Shepard's a good friend, so, absolutely, and in any way that I can. How is she?"

"Critical. She's in a medically induced coma, has severe burns as well as brain trauma. The swelling in her brain is improving, but she's still in real danger. We could handle that easily enough, but we're struggling to maintain and restore many of her implants, which, as you know, support the function of most of her major organs."

"Primarily they're a supplemental nervous system," Miranda added. "Were the implants damaged? What happened to her?"

"Massive blunt force trauma. The medic notes indicate there was a cave-in or an explosion of some kind, that she may have fallen from a great height, but we won't know until she can tell us." The man shrugged. "Regarding the implants, I haven't seen them myself, but my understanding is they're not damaged in an _obvious_ way, though a few were destroyed by the physical injuries she sustained. Her right femur was obviously reinforced by your work, but that's ruined because of the fracture to the bone there. The rest – the most critical ones - just aren't that cut and dry."

"What do you think is happening?" she asked.

"Is she part-cybernetic, Ms. Lawson?"

Miranda looked dumbstruck. "What? No, not at all! She _does_ have something similar to a cybernetic system in her spine, it was designed to compensate for the severed portions, but it's entirely integrated. She's as human as you or I."

"How did you integrate them?" he queried.

"It's akin to a patch in a road, really, minuscule leads tethered to the individual receptors," she explained. "The concept is based on the L4 implants."

"Ah! So the connection is hardwired into her nervous system, but not _into_ the brain?"

"Exactly. I realize that while the design of the L5 implants are far superior in capacity, she's not a biotic, and we needed something less complex in its structure. We didn't want to alter her physique any more than was necessary, so we created a schematic from the L4 platform. Nothing was wired into her brain directly, nor the stem."

"Remarkable."

"Much to our surprise, her brain was in remarkably good physical condition when her body was recovered," Miranda explained. "Once she was resuscitated, it transmitted and received signals with little difficulty. I still think that's the main reason Project Lazarus was a success."

The doctor nodded and drew a breath to ask another question, but Miranda interrupted. "Look, I'm guessing that they sent you down here to check me out, and while I'd love to play "Twenty Questions", I think you know I am who I say I am. Now, if Shepard needs my help, then let me see her, let me read the reports."

Dr. Ledeaux shifted his stance and shrugged. "We do need your help, but that's not a decision I get to make."

"Then take me to whoever can make the decision, Doctor. Please, she's my friend."

Dr. Ledeaux smiled softly. "Okay. Come on with me, I'll take you upstairs."

**xXx**

There were more voices today than yesterday, and one she felt she knew, but wasn't sure how. It was familiar and confident, and it made her feel calmer.

She was dreaming more. The fog was not as hard to navigate as it had been, and a part of her comprehended that it had some predictability to it. She knew she wasn't dead, so she wondered if the fog was due to her injuries or a treatment for them.

She missed him greatly, he came to her when she dreamt, and so did some of the others. She worried she only saw them because they were dead, mere ghosts haunting her memories. The pain of those feelings was overwhelming to her.

She hated her endless confusion and wished she could open her eyes. But today, hearing the voice she somehow knew would help her, she was better.

**xXx**

"Hey, Joker, how are you holding up?" Traynor asked as she walked into the cockpit.

Joker had been quiet since the Normandy had gone down, and everyone knew that the loss of EDI was hard for their pilot.

Traynor had been watching her friend carefully, aware that he was struggling, but with the intense hours of repair and endless streams of data to dissect, she'd not been able to visit him one-on-one.

"Fine, Traynor. What brings you up here?" he asked casually, glancing over his shoulder at her before punching at a few keys.

She debated what to say, how to start, but she realized that EDI, who'd understood him best, would have just jumped right in, and so, she did. "Ah, well, EDI, actually. I didn't get to ask you how you were doing, to…"

"I'm good, Traynor, thanks," he said tersely.

Sighing, she sank into the vacant seat to his left, not daring to take the seat at EDI's former post. "Joker, look, you and I both know that you're probably _not_ good. She _was_ your girlfriend, and I know you cared a great deal for her," she said gently.

"She was a _ship_, Traynor, alright?"

She scoffed. "The hell she was! She was _so_ much more than that, Jeff, so cut the crap with me, okay?" she said bluntly. "I know you love to do the irreverent humor bit, but there's no one else here, and I'm a friend. So I'll ask you again: are you alright?"

Joker's lips pursed and he didn't meet her eyes; instead, he resumed tapping at his console. A few minutes of silence later, the young specialist sighed and hauled her small frame out of the seat to go. She'd almost reached the door when Joker finally spoke.

"How the hell do you think I'm doing? Honest to God, why would you ask such a stupid question in the first place?" he yelled.

He swiveled his pilot's seat around to face her.

"I don't _want_ to talk about it, and I don't want _you_, or anybody goddamn else to console me, _okay_? She knew like the rest of us that she might die in that fight, and she was scared, but she still _wanted_ to fight! How many missions did she go on, like, what, ten? Twenty?"

"Jeff…"

"So, ya know, that's it! It's not complicated; we all knew what we were getting into! She's dead, okay, and for now…for now I don't want to talk about it," he said, his voice cracking as his words trailed off. He drew a ragged breath and adjusted his hat before he spoke again. "But I get you're trying to help, and I…I appreciate that. Now, let me fly, okay?"

The young woman walked up behind his chair and very gently squeezed his shoulder. "Okay," she agreed and quietly left the cockpit, the doors softly closing after her.

Joker swallowed the lump in his throat and opened another screen, working at it before returning to the main helm control. "Just let me fly," he whispered, trying to keep the tears at bay.

_**Thank you to Lisa for her amazing beta work, she always manages to turn my pile of erroneous commas into something one can actually read!**_

_**Thank you to Liso66 for her assistance with canon!**_

_**Thank you to all of you for your kind reviews! I am grateful for each alert, favorite, review and read. I hope you will stick around for a while!**_


	3. To Those Who Went Before Us

**To Those Who Went Before Us**

The Normandy hit the rim of the Sol system exactly ten days after word had been received word that the commander was alive.

And so far, according to reports, she still was.

Kaidan paced as he waited inside the War Room; he was slated to speak with Admiral Hackett via vid-com in the next few minutes. He expected to receive a significant update on all manner of things, but his heart was pounding with anxiety, knowing he would finally get to talk about Shepard.

"Hold on, Kate. I'm nearly there," he whispered.

Traynor came over the loudspeaker and announced Hackett was ready, and Kaidan rapidly initiated the connection.

"Sir!" the major said, snapping into a salute.

"At ease, Major Alenko," Hackett replied, returning the salute. "How is the Normandy and her crew?"

"We're good, sir. We lost EDI once the pulse reached us, and the repairs for basic flight were lengthy, but she's flying and doing so well. She's going to need a complete overhaul, though, sir. Most systems were crippled when EDI went offline."

"Any casualties?"

"None, sir, except for EDI."

"Near as we can tell, the pulse from the Crucible terminated all synthetics out there, the Geth included," Hackett offered in explanation. "I'm sorry about EDI, she was a real asset, but I'm glad to hear there was no loss of life. The galaxy's in a real state, but nothing we don't think we can't recover from."

"The Citadel, sir?"

Hackett nodded. "Is in a low orbit over Earth and easily reached by shuttle. We've got control of it and have recovered Mars and Luna."

"Excellent news, sir," Kaidan said stiffly before he cleared his throat. "Sir, is, uh, is there any word?"

"She's okay," the admiral said gently. "She's at Reykjavik Station, in the I.C.U. burn ward there, and she's stable. Miranda Lawson showed up out of the blue, nearly two weeks ago, and she's helped the staff tremendously with Shepard's recovery. She's still got a long road ahead of her, but I'm happy to tell you that she _will_ be okay."

The major visibly sagged and the older man smiled kindly. "Indulge my curiosity, Major. Just how long _have_ you and the commander been together? If you don't mind me asking, that is."

Kaidan looked up and blinked several times before he finally answered. "Well sir, long enough that a few regulations got broken along the way."

Hackett chuckled. "I thought so. David and I spoke of it once, and we speculated on whether or not it started before or after chasing down Saren. He told me he saw something there before he handed the Normandy over," he admitted. "He worried that your feelings might cast a shadow your duties. But I wasn't that concerned, especially once she finally left Cerberus."

"Those were hard times, Admiral."

"I expect they were," the other man admitted. "Still, I didn't want to interfere. You're both good officers, and I knew what you two were up against. That's why I sent on her medical updates; I figured you had a dog or two in this fight."

"I do, sir, and thank you."

"For the record, a superior officer should tell you that there's a reason the Alliance has all those regulations in place, that the chain of command must be respected, and, that you and the commander acted recklessly, etc., etc.," he said with a slight smirk. "But as you're no longer her subordinate, and hell, you all did just save most of the known universe from annihilation; I think it's fair to say you've both earned a pass."

It was Kaidan's turn to laugh. "Well, thanks, sir. That's good of you," he said lightheartedly.

"Can I assume you'll be asking for some leave?"

The major nodded. "Yes, sir, I will. A lot of it."

"Approved. My reports from Lieutenant Moreau have you at about thirty hours out, is that still accurate?" the admiral asked, picking up a data pad as he did. "If that's right, then I want you to put the Normandy in at the temporary station over Mars, and take a shuttle from there. My XO will work with Lieutenant Vega about how to reassign your crew as we figure out what's next for them. Are you comfortable with that?"

"Yes, Vega is very competent, and he's more than up to the challenge," Kaidan replied. "He's functioned as the temporary XO up to this point, and unless you'd prefer it otherwise, he's willing to take the position on indefinitely."

"No objections, Major, but keep in mind he's still more soldier than paper-pusher. Assign Specialist Traynor as his aid, and make sure you get her solid support, especially if you're going to be out of the chain of command for a time."

"Will do."

"Good. Then I think we're through with official business," Hackett said, laying the pad back down. "One last thing, Major. I've seen Shepard a few times, and you need to prepare yourself. She's badly burned, and her appearance is still distorted from the facial fractures. She's got a lot of tubes and wiring attached to her. She's not readily recognizable."

Kaidan's lips drew into a grim line, but he nodded. "Yes, sir, I know. I was field trained as a medic, so I know from the reports what to expect."

"Kaidan, it's different when it's someone you care about," the admiral said gently. "Just…don't underestimate how bad she's going to look, alright?"

"Thank you, sir," the major said. "Oh, and sir? Any word on her mother?"

"Hannah didn't make it through the battle; her ship and crew went down over Luna."

The major sighed, knowing how devastated Shepard would be when she eventually learned the news. "I'm sorry to hear that. The captain had a reputation as a strong leader."

"She was, and was a personal friend of mine as well. I know this will be hard on the commander," Hackett noted sadly. "Unfortunately, her pain isn't unique. We all lost someone during this god-awful war, and some lost more than others."

Kaidan remained silent, thinking of his own family, their whereabouts still unknown.

Hackett cleared his throat. "But those days are finally over, and there's a lot of work to be done."

"Yes, sir, and we're eager to get started. We all want our lives back."

"Agreed. Welcome home, Major. Please express my gratitude to your crew for their amazing work," Hackett said, returning to a more formal tone. "Make sure they know how much we appreciate everything they've done. It'll take some time for the Alliance to get itself together well enough to start handing out medals, so please, tell them job very well done. The whole galaxy is in their debt."

"Yes, sir."

"Anything further, Major?"

"No, sir."

"Excellent. Put in at Mars, head to Earth. Make sure Vega can find you. Hackett out."

The vid-com signal faded and dropped.

**xXx**

Miranda studied the latest reports from the labs, her legs tucked comfortably under her as she sat on the couch in the doctor's lounge.

The latest blood work for Shepard looked very promising. Her white blood cell count was approaching a less threatening range, meaning her body was starting to soundly defeat the infection brought on by the large amounts of exposed tissue, a result of her extensive burns.

Her skin-grafts were a success, and the accelerated cellular treatments meant that she'd already regenerated nearly eighty percent of the skin lost. In a few more weeks, she'd be fully recovered from her burns, though meticulous care would need to be given to the new and tender skin.

Her face was healing very nicely, the reconstruction of her nasal and ocular bone completed nearly a week ago. Aside from the need to remove a small drain tube by her ear - in place to reduce inflammation - her facial surgeries were finished. Once the swelling was gone, she'd look very much as she had before her injuries.

The electroencephalography, more commonly known as an EEG, indicated Shepard was demonstrating a normal amount of spontaneous brain activity, and that was a very good sign indeed.

If the diagnostic of her spinal implants was anywhere near as positive as the rest of the findings, her friend's recovery would be secured.

A good deal of her other injuries, such as her broken leg, elbow, and hand, were addressed within the first twenty-four hours of her hospitalization. Leaving broken bones, especially breaks that weren't 'clean' would have exposed her to serious illness, and so those injuries had made real progress as well.

Once Shepard was awakened, which in Miranda's opinion, needed to be done as soon as possible, the commander would need to begin an extensive course of physical therapy, as well as other therapies.

All in all though, things were coming along quite nicely.

Dr. Karen Holder entered the lounge, and made a bee line for Miranda. The short and squat blonde woman was the chief of staff, a brilliant surgeon and Alliance to her core. Miranda shifted so she was seated in a less casual manner, and greeted the doctor.

"Good morning, Dr. Holder."

"Good morning, Miranda," she replied stiffly. "Have you seen the latest on the commander?"

"I have," Miranda replied. "Everything is looking better than we could have hoped for."

"It is, which in itself is a miracle," Holder replied. "I'm still astonished at how far she's come."

"It's _hardly_ a miracle, Doctor, it's sound medical science," Miranda countered. "We should wake her. It's safe now, and we need to complete a full assessment of her mental abilities."

Dr. Holder nodded. "I agree it's the next reasonable step in her recovery, but we're giving it a little more time. Hackett's requested we wait."

"Admiral Hackett is _not_ a doctor, nor is he a scientist. He shouldn't be participating in this type of decision."

"No, he's not, and normally I'd have reminded him of such, but keeping her under for another few days won't harm her," Holder reasoned. "Apparently someone's coming in from her crew, and Hackett wants him here with her when we bring her out of her coma."

"Him?" Miranda arched an eyebrow. "Did they say whom?"

The doctor glanced down at a data pad. "Major Kaidan…"

"Alenko," Miranda finished for her, nodding again. She looked thoughtful before she sighed. "Well, I hate waiting, but yes, Hackett's right in this case. I'm glad for Shepard's sake to hear the major made it through. They've been involved for some time and if there's any face she should see first, it's his."

"I agree, especially as we've no idea what happened to her up there," the doctor noted sadly. "It's impossible to know what her state of mind was when she lost consciousness. It's not unlikely that she'll awaken believing she's still on the Citadel."

"Alenko will be very good for her. If she's distressed he may be a real help when we do bring her out."

Holder shrugged. "Let's hope so. I also advised Hackett that the Alliance can now announce the commander is alive and stable. It'll be quite the frenzy around here once that's public." The doctor pulled a data pad from a stack she was holding.

Miranda sighed, not looking forward to the chaos the announcement would likely bring.

"That being said, I've altered your orders for Shepard's diagnostics. We're expecting the major late tonight, so we'll wait until tomorrow afternoon at the very earliest to rouse her." Holder passed Miranda another pad. "Before then, we'll need a full work up on the spinal cybernetics one last time. And I've ordered cardiology to get their latest readings in to you by tomorrow morning."

"Good. Tomorrow will be a very big day for all of us."

Holder nodded before she turned to go. She was only a step away before pausing, a look of curiosity on her face. "I wasn't going to ask, but I find I can't contain my interest."

Miranda set aside the data pads. "Alright. Please, Doctor, ask away."

"What was it like…before? Waking Shepard up? Was she confused? Was she coherent right away, ask questions, or did she just accept things?"

"The commander was awakened nearly a month before I'd intended," Miranda replied. "Our labs were under attack, and I literally roused her via the PA system. We'd been weaning her off her sedation medication for some time before then, as we have been here, but that was the first time she'd been fully conscious."

"I remember you saying so, but I'm wondering how she_ was_? I'm trying to gauge things, to anticipate how it'll go. Did she need time to regain her faculties? Was she confused or slow?"

"No, actually she did remarkably well, given the scenario she woke to. She didn't readily accept the truth of what had occurred to her, and yes, once able to ask them, she had a great deal of questions, the first of which, if I recall correctly, was the whereabouts of Major Alenko."

"Well, if that's her first question this time around she'll have her answer right away, won't she?" the blonde said with small smile. "Of course, I realize her prior experience may have no impact whatsoever on how she'll respond tomorrow. It's an entirely different situation and she's not going to be roused by a battle."

"Well, that's true. Shepard is unique, though," Miranda explained. "She's got this determination, a deep sense of duty…I think the phrase is 'steel in her spine'. I expect that she'll be eager to recover and get back to her ship."

"Even after all of this?"

"Yes. There're going to be too many who need help here on Earth and across the galaxy. Shepard won't be able to resist helping, she can't bloody help herself."

Dr. Holder chuckled. "Yes, I've heard that about her."

"But thinking on it, I've realized we were both wrong earlier."

"About?" Holder asked.

"It was neither a miracle nor science that made her survival possible."

"Then what was it, Miranda?"

The dark haired woman smiled slightly. "It's because she's Shepard."

**xXx**

The lounge was crowded, the last of the enlisted crew loudly clearing out for the weekly officer's poker game, some calling good-naturedly over their shoulders who they felt would win, and how large the pot would get.

Once they'd gone, the door whooshing shut softly, the noise lessened and everyone settled in.

"I didn't tell you all that my sources confirmed that Captain Shepard died in the battle for Earth," Liara announced solemnly, drawing the attention of her friends.

They were all present; none of the command of the Normandy would have missed their last night. They were only five hours out from Mars and each was acutely aware that things were going to change once they arrived. The needs of the Alliance meant that many of them would immediately be reassigned to more critical positions, at least while the Normandy was being repaired and made ready for full duty.

James had commented to Traynor when they'd been in the elevator that it felt kind of like the night before graduation. They were all eager to go after whatever came next, but none of them wanted to say good-bye.

"Hackett told me yesterday," Kaidan replied, answering Liara. "I didn't want to say anything to anyone because Kate doesn't know."

"Man, that just really sucks," James sighed. "Like the commander hasn't given enough and now this?"

"Damn, Shepard's going to take it real hard," Garrus observed sadly.

"Were they close?" Cortez asked. "Not that it makes it any easier if they weren't."

Kaidan rubbed his temples with his fingertips. "Yeah, they were," he said, and then threw the contents of his shot glass back. "Damn, I wish to hell we'd get there already!" he confessed in frustration. "Guys, I'm sorry, but my heart's just not in this; I'm too antsy. Deal me out, okay?"

Kaidan tossed down his cards and James collected them, shuffling them back into the deck.

"Pass 'em in, boys and girls," James ordered. "Re-deal."

Joker handed his cards over to James. "That's it then, isn't it? We're all basically war orphans now, aren't we?" the pilot asked.

"Not _all_ of us," Liara said pointedly, arching an eyebrow at Joker, and discreetly gesturing to Alenko.

"Sorry, man."

"There's nothing to apologize for, Joker. You lost your family, we've all lost someone we cared about in this mess," Kaidan answered sincerely. "We've been through the wringer; each of us has paid a heavy price to be sitting around this table."

"Damn straight, Major," James agreed.

Garrus sat forward. "Don't give up hope, Kaidan. I didn't, and assuming it doesn't take me thirty years to get home, last I heard, I've got a sister and father to go home to."

"They've set up a series of check-points across the planet," Tali began, her fingers drumming on the felt tabletop.

"Earth or Mars?" James asked, dealing the cards to those that would be playing.

"Earth," she replied, peeking at the hand she'd been dealt. "Though I would guess there will be some sort of coordination with the other worlds and governments as well."

"What are the check-points for?" Garrus asked.

"For people to register as survivors, or to report those who are missing," Tali explained. "I was thinking that would be a good thing for you to do, Kaidan."

The major glanced up from his glass. "Yeah."

"Did you hear anything about your parents before the last push, Alenko?" Garrus asked, sipping from his tall cocktail.

"No, nothing yet, but Dad served for a while, and the cabin's in interior British Columbia. They were en route when the Reapers hit," Kaidan explained. "I'm just hoping they got enough of a head start, you know?"

"We all share your hopes, Kaidan." Liara sighed heavily, standing across the small room at the bar.

"Did the admiral have any more news about the commander, Major?" Traynor inquired.

"Nothing too different or I'd have shared it. Like the reports read, she's stable but still in I.C.U. Miranda Lawson offered her aid, and apparently, she's really helped things along," Kaidan answered. "Kate's doing a lot better."

"Thank the goddesses," Liara breathed.

"Miranda?" Joker repeated. "She's seriously uptight, but she's rebuilt Shepard before, right? Should be a cake walk for her, second time around."

"They're keeping her in a coma until the last of her spine is repaired and the skin grafts are finished," Kaidan explained. "But if she keeps responding to the burn therapy, and they can keep her white blood cell count down, they'll wake her up pretty soon."

"How's her head?" Tali asked. "Are they still concerned? She'll be…she'll be herself when they wake her, won't she?"

"That's probably not something we'd know 'til she's awake," Kaidan reasoned quietly. "But I _do_ know they're not as concerned as they were before, and I'd think that's a good sign."

Liara walked over from the bar, a tray balanced in her hands. On it was a shot glass of malt whiskey for each of them, and she carefully lowered the tray to the edge of the table, everyone taking their glass.

"I would agree with Kaidan's assessment," she said. "Now, as this may be our last chance to do so for some time, I'd like to offer a toast."

All lifted their small glasses and Liara began to speak.

"Hold on! Sorry!" Tali groaned, disappearing beneath the table, and quickly popping back up. "I dropped my induction port!"

James burst out laughing, Kaidan doing nothing to stop his own chuckles. Traynor grinned widely.

Tali gasped and pointed first at Kaidan and then at James. "She lied! Whatever Shepard told you was a lie!"

Joker, having retrieved the 'induction port', still in its sterile wrap, grinned widely as he held it aloft, and Tali quickly snatched it from his hand. "It's a called a _straw_, ya know," he said saucily.

"I don't like you, any of you," Tali grumbled. James and Traynor each sniggered as Liara covered her grin with the back of her hand.

"Okay, guys, spill it! What's she talking about?" Cortez asked, looking between Joker and James.

"I'll tell you later, Esteban!"

"Nothing, Cortez, she's talking about absolutely nothing," Garrus chuckled as he reached out and brushed Tali's arm, holding her hand. "Hey now, you still like me, don't you? _I_ didn't say anything," he said sweetly.

"That's only 'cause she's got you wrapped," Joker teased.

"Well, if you'd seen what's under that suit, you'd know just _why_ that is," the Turian replied smoothly, laughing as Tali giggled and slugged him in his arm.

James grinned but loudly cleared his throat. "Alright kiddos, settle down. The lady was about to offer a toast."

The Asari bowed her head slightly to James. "Thank you, sir." She raised her glass and her voice. "To those who went before us, so that others may come after us."

The entire group sobered instantly, humbled by their friend's choice of words.

The Turian sniper stood and held his glass high. "Thane Krios."

"To Anderson, and to Ash," Kaidan said, coming to his feet.

"EDI," Joker offered quietly.

"And my mother," Liara whispered.

Tali stood. "To Legion, and to the Geth."

James also got to his feet. "But _not, _I repeat, _not_ to the commander."

"Damn right, James," Garrus said as Kaidan gently smiled, nodding.

"Saludo!" the large soldier yelled, and then downed his shot, the others immediately following suit.

Kaidan looked at the bottom of his empty glass and again wished he was already on Earth. "Not much longer," he muttered softly, hope in his voice. "Not much longer."

_**Thank you, Lisa, for your lickety split beta! She's amazing, y'all, and a heck of a decorator too!**_

_**Thank you Liso66 for your continued willingness to help with this story, I'm grateful!**_

_**And thank you to you all for reading, following, and reviewing this story. I hope you know how much I appreciate your thoughts and your time!**_


	4. Light at the End of the Tunnel

**Light at the End of the Tunnel**

The Normandy made dock on schedule, her efficient crew ready to coordinate with ground control. Kaidan practically ran up the walkway from the Normandy into the Alliance terminal, but not before several of the ship's crew met him at the airlock, offering their good wishes for him and to their commander.

The terminal was in complete disarray, a large portion of it only usable due to barrier shields erected and expanded between the massive gaps in the walls and ceilings. The place was packed with throngs of refugees and displaced non-Alliance military, and those individuals, Kaidan noticed, had begun to set up make-shift barracks in the less vital parts of the station.

When Hackett had ordered them to put in at Mars, Joker and Kaidan had assumed he'd meant Mars Station, but at arrival, they'd been re-routed to this remote location. Joker hadn't questioned the orders, but had been surprised at the change.

Looking at the condition of this facility, Kaidan found himself wondering if the larger outposts, like the Archives and Mars Station, still existed at all, as they would surely have drawn more focus from enemy forces. Perhaps the Normandy had put in at the only location she could.

It was a morose thought, especially considering the size of the different cities on Mars, but something, he realized, he'd better start to wrap his head around. Earth, when he'd last set foot on it, had been nothing better than a smoking crater, and the casualties on Earth alone were estimated at half a billion.

As staggering as it was to consider, he knew it was something his head could easily get lost in, and so pushed aside that train of thought, choosing instead to focus on more positive things.

The biggest of which was Kate being alive and he was only a few hours from seeing her.

He found his way to the ramshackle flight control office and, while attempting to book a shuttle, learned from the liaison officer that Hackett had made arrangements for him to share one with two other officers who were also Earth-bound, and that the admiral had listed their flight as a priority departure.

In theory it should have helped Kaidan leave for home far more quickly than reality was allowing. Priority or not, there just weren't enough shuttles available, and until one was, he was stuck waiting in the officers' lounge. He contacted the Normandy to update Vega on his location, and, grabbing a snack, got comfortable.

His travel mates were decent enough company. A newly promoted captain who was en route to London and a commander headed to Vancouver. Both men had been to Earth at least once since the Reapers had been destroyed, and both men had good news to report.

Kaidan began to feel hopeful about the reconstruction that was beginning: the commander was returning to oversee a massive shelter and resources facility, while the captain would be in charge of coordinating displaced survivors.

The conversations going on around Kaidan were almost exclusively about the heroics of the last battle or the recovery that had already begun. Kate and the crew of the Normandy were mentioned more than once and he felt a surge of pride at all they'd accomplished.

The Reapers were gone, and they still cast very long shadows, but Kaidan couldn't ignore the positive mood of the people who surrounded him.

He smiled, thinking that Kate would be right along with them, planning and scheming ways to help more refugees, reach more survivors and save more lives. He sat back and sighed, realizing he was looking forward to telling her she'd saved the day.

Well, more than just the day, he thought. _Way more_.

He again considered Hackett's warning about her appearance and wondered how she was doing. He knew the details of her injuries but still blanched when he considered what must have caused them all.

Someday, maybe, he'd forgive himself for not being by her side when she'd received them.

He closed his eyes for a moment and could still see her bloodied face; the tears in her eyes as they'd kissed for what they'd each thought was the last time and then ordered Garrus to drag him from the battlefield. She'd known he was gravely injured but he hadn't cared, and if Garrus hadn't been there to stop him, he would have crawled back to the beam and followed her up to the Citadel.

But she'd been right.

He'd have died up there, weak and injured, and possibly putting her in grave danger as well. She would have tried to protect him and who knows what that would have cost the mission.

Knowing what he did at this moment, he realized had she not forced him from the fighting, she'd now be facing a future without _him_. He remembered all too well what that particular emotion felt like, and regardless of hating having to let her go alone that day, he realized he should be grateful she had.

Now if he could just stop having nightmares about it, he'd be ahead of the game.

"Captain Montgomery? Major Alenko?" called a young ensign from across the lounge.

Kaidan stood and took one last sip of his energy drink, raising his hand to acknowledge her as he did. The captain and commander also got to their feet.

"Sirs? If you're ready, we've got a shuttle and should be departing shortly. Bay 3B," she announced.

The three followed her out and down a quiet hallway, where she led them to a door and pulled it open for them. "Have a safe flight, gentlemen."

Kaidan paused, recognizing the shuttle as one of the two Kodiak's from the Normandy. Boarding it, he was pleasantly surprised to see Steve Cortez in the pilot's seat.

"Hey, Lieutenant," Kaidan said. "Uh, fancy meeting you here?"

Cortez turned and chuckled. "Hey, Major! Yeah, we've got to stop running into each other this way, huh?" the skilled pilot joked. "Well, we heard you were just sitting around waiting for a shuttle when Joker pointed out we had two perfectly good shuttles in the bay of the Normandy. We thought this was a decent solution."

Kaidan grinned. "It is, and thanks."

"No worries, sir. We'll get down to Earth in no time and I'll bring this tough old girl," he patted his console affectionately, "back home before anyone even notices we were gone."

Cortez stood and Kaidan introduced him to the other two passengers, and Cortez punched their destinations into the navigational computer.

"Hope you fellas don't mind if I drop the major at his destination first, it's priority," Cortez said from over his shoulder. "It's only a few minutes from Reykjavik to London anyway."

"Not at all," Captain Montgomery replied with an amiable smile. "It's _his_ shuttle, after all. We just appreciate the Normandy sharing it and allowing us tag along."

"Gentlemen, please find your seats," Cortez called out. "We've got tower clearance and it's time to go. We'll be in orbit in less than two hours."

Kaidan sat and buckled his safety belt, and then rested his head on the hull, closing his eyes. He was almost there.

**xXx**

It was dark, well past ten o'clock, when Cortez dropped Kaidan at the shuttle pad at Reykjavik Medical Center. It was snowing, but not heavily, and Kaidan made his way into the building.

The center was huge, but a majority of it had been closed down for years, the upgrades it needed to stay relevant lost to budget cuts. He realized its irrelevancy was probably why it was still mostly intact, even after the Reapers occupied Earth.

Traynor said the Alliance moved a large share of its medical resources to this location once the Reapers had left, being the only place still standing that was large enough to house over a thousand patients at once. The move allowed the hospital ships in the fleet to return to treating patients in more remote locations, while simultaneously taking a heavy burden off of the Fleet.

He entered the main lobby and went to the front desk where he identified himself to the clerk on duty. The woman entered his name into the computer and uttered a quiet, "Oh," before she picked up a communicator and spoke softly into it.

"It'll just be a few minutes, Major. Please, wait here," she requested.

He complied and put down his travel bag, resting his hip against the side of the desk. He sighed, trying not to let his nerves get the best of him. He was having a very hard time not fidgeting and wished whoever was coming for him would hurry up.

And then he spotted Miranda.

He picked up his bag and moved in her direction, meeting her in the middle of the lobby.

"Miranda, hey, it's good to see you again," he said quickly. "How is she?"

Miranda offered a tight smile. "Alenko, always a pleasure," she replied. "She's doing well. Come with me, we'll get you the security badge you'll need for the floor she's on."

She turned and walked to the elevator. He followed and she swiped her omni-tool near a small panel, allowing her to open the doors and punch in the floor they needed.

"I expect you've got a lot of questions," she began.

"I do, but I've been keeping current on her condition with the different reports," he explained. "The biggest question you've already answered though, she's alive and healing."

Miranda nodded and didn't say anything more.

"Miranda? Do you know what happened to her up there?"

The brunette sighed. "No, we don't have a clue. I know the Hammer team that found her submitted dozens of reports from their trip, but no one's willing to show them to me," she answered. "But, if everything goes well in her next series of test results, we'll be waking her up tomorrow. Shepard will be able to tell us soon enough."

"Tomorrow? Is she…is she ready? What about the swelling in her brain? Is it safe to…"

"Major, I promise you, this isn't a decision that's been made quickly," she explained "We've been prepping her for over a week now, and she really is doing remarkably well. For her to continue to progress, she'll need to be awake and participating in her care."

"So you're talking about, what, physical therapy?"

"That, along with making sure there're no mental deficits. The brain swelling is resolved, and there's no longer any benefit to keeping her in the coma," she reasoned. "We can't further gauge her health without her input. It's time."

He sighed, shaking his head. "I'm not questioning you, I mean, I _know_ this is the plan, and I get that, it's just…well, it seems so fast, you know? I feel like I just got the report she was alive but barely, and now I finally get here and she's ready to wake up and P.T. it."

Miranda smiled softly. "I understand, but it _has_ been over a month since they found her, so it's not as fast as it feels. Look at it this way - for every minute you've been trying to get here, we've been diligently helping her. Between the extremely talented staff sent to help her, and my past experience with her implants, things have come together very well."

The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened, Miranda stepping off first and leading him down a hallway. She quickly introduced him to the security officer there, who, after taking his details, quickly asked him for his omni-tool link. He provided it and it glowed instantly, the officer uploading the security file to it.

"You'll need that to use the elevator and to be unescorted on this floor," the security guard explained. "It also grants you access to the doctors' lounge and kitchen, as well as the dormitory at the far end of the floor."

"Thanks," he replied, tapping the tool and saving the information to his quick access files.

They stepped away from the desk, Miranda gesturing for him to walk with her.

"Let's put your bag in the dorm room first, then I'll take you to see Shepard," she said. "I know it seems a tad excessive, all this security, but the Alliance is being very protective of her. They're worried about someone who's indoctrinated getting to her," she explained. "I think there are still genuine concerns the Reapers aren't truly gone."

"So, is that why they're putting me in the dormitory here?"

"Partially, yes, but it's also to keep the press, what little there is, from noticing you're here," she answered. "Admiral Hackett is going to wait until we wake her tomorrow, but chances are, he'll be announcing Shepard's survival shortly thereafter. We felt it would be best for you to not have to contend with the excitement that's sure to follow."

She paused at the end of the hallway, opening a door with her omni-tool.

"Do you really think, what with all the destruction and the work to be done, that folks are going to show up here?" he asked, surprised at the notion.

"Yes, we do," she replied. "She's a hero, a beacon of hope for a lot of people. I think it's going to be a very big deal once the announcement is made." She gestured to a small bed and nightstand set up in a segregated corner of the room. "That armoire over there is open for you to use, and this will be your bed. Would you like to freshen up?"

"I'd like to see Kate, now."

"Come on, then."

They walked in silence back the way they'd come and then up a corridor that was new to Kaidan. They reached a corner and he spotted a brightly lit room at it, the blinds in the glass walls enclosing it, closed. There were 'Universal Precautions' notices posted on each sheet of glass, and a large data board with basic information showing.

He pointed to the signs. "Do you need me to get into scrubs and a mask?"

She shook her head. "No, sorry, those should be down by now," she said, reaching out and taking one off. "Her burns are closed, so she's no longer got any exposed tissue to be concerned about," she explained. "Uh, Kaidan," she began, surprising him with the use of his given name.

"Yes?"

"I know you've had some medical training, and you've read her reports, but just a word of caution, alright? She's got some facial swelling and is still on a respirator, which she'll come off of tomorrow," she said quickly. "She's improved massively, all things considered, but for someone who's not seen her progress, she may look rather…"

"Rough? Yeah, I know," he replied in a low tone. "But thanks for wanting to warn me."

Miranda studied him for a moment and finally nodded. "Okay, I'll leave you for a bit. When I return, I'll have Doctor Holder with me. You'll need your pass to open her door."

With those final details, she left him standing outside of Shepard's hospital room.

He stared at the handle of the glass door for a breath or two and then quickly lit his omni-tool and waved it by the lock. The light on the door flitted from red to green and he opened it, stepping inside.

He felt the breath leave his chest as his eyes found her and he stood rigid.

Her red hair was closely shaved and a long, angry-looking incision ran from her crown to her right ear. That side of her face was distorted from swelling, her normally fine features lost beneath the puffy bruising. There were dozens of tiny cuts, all of which were nearly healed, across her face and neck and he noticed they traveled down her arms as well.

Her right arm was bandaged heavily and he recalled from the reports that both the wrist and elbow had been broken. He noticed that she had all five of her fingers there, miniscule stabilizer pins protruding from the end of the ring and pinky; fingers he knew were transplants or prosthetics.

The respirator tube was in her mouth, tape securing it in place and the rhythm of the machine the only disturbance to the silence in the room. There were leads running everywhere.

She looked tiny in the middle of the bed, small and battered.

He imagined what had happened to her and roughly scrubbed his face, struggling to control the need to yell or cry, he wasn't sure which. He closed his eyes and drew a ragged breath, and finally approached the bed.

He'd wondered, in the seemingly endless days it had taken to get here, if she'd be able to understand any of the things going on around her while she was in the coma, or if she was truly unaware of it all. He'd decided to talk with her as if she could hear him and pulled a chair over to the bed, settling down close to her and taking her left hand into his own.

Her hand was so warm and he caressed it in his large one. He loved her fingers, they were long and graceful and when she touched him…well, those had been some of the happiest times of his life. He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed the top of it softly.

"Hey, Shepard," he said quietly. "Kate? I'm here now. I'm sorry it took me so long," he rasped, watching her for any kind of response. "We made it to the rendezvous while you handled the big fight. I still can't quite stomach having to let you go that day."

He fell silent, his eyes on her.

"But, you were right," he forced a soft laugh. "You always are. I was pretty banged up. But it's over, and you did it. They're gone, Kate, the Reapers are gone, and you're safe and everyone's okay. And we're here…together. So, that makes pretty much everything else worth it, doesn't it?"

He heard the lock in the door click and glanced over to see Miranda and a few others enter the room. He began to stand, but a short blonde woman gestured for him to stay seated.

"Major Alenko, hello, I'm Doctor Karen Holder, Chief Medical Officer of the center and head of Commander Shepard's medical team here," said the woman. "We're very glad you're here."

"Thank you, ma'am," he replied professionally. "I'm happy to finally be with her."

"We don't want to keep you too long, we know you've only just arrived," Holder began. "But we wanted to go over the details of the commander's current status as well as explain the process for tomorrow. Ms. Lawson advised me that you're aware we intend to rouse her tomorrow afternoon?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Squeezing Shepard's hand, Kaidan gave his attention over to her doctors, eager to understand what was coming and what Shepard would need from him.

**xXx**

Cortez dropped off the last passenger in Vancouver and laid in his course back to the small station on Mars.

His short trip had given him an opportunity to see how far reaching the devastation the Reapers had wrought on the human home world. To say it was staggering would be a gross understatement, and he sighed, sitting back in his chair, his heart heavy with what he'd seen.

The European continent was radically different. He'd noticed whole areas of land that would normally be lighting up the night sky were dark. Hundreds of miles of blackness had stretched out before him as he'd brought the shuttle into London. Landmarks he'd been trained to identify on-sight so many years ago, each designated to assist him should his aircraft ever have a navigational failure, were nowhere to be seen.

He remembered being a kid living someplace in the Midwest of America, his father assigned to some remote air station there, and a tornado had formed, wreaking havoc and carving a wicked path of ruin before the weather control systems had eliminated it.

An old man at the local grocery store had been talking with his dad about it a few days later, and he'd likened the twister to a 'finger of God', the way it had dug in and destroyed everything in its path. The buildings, homes and anything else on the ground had been smashed, blown away or obliterated. He'd never seen anything like it since.

Until today.

Today, what he saw looked like a thousand tornadoes had touched down at once, everywhere, and the devastation was astounding, like something from a movie, a very _bad_ movie.

He shook his head, thinking of the massive amount of rubble and wondered how things would ever be right again. There were millions dead, resources were at a minimum and without the Relays, he knew the majority of the Alliance Fleet could be weeks if not months away.

He punched up the extranet and watched what news he could find, listening to the depressing estimates about the loss of life, and wondered where and how the recovery could begin. He realized then that the duty to rebuild would not only fall on the shoulders of those who'd survived, but on the generations to come after as well.

Yet it _would_ get done, that much he knew. One thing he'd learned over the last year of fighting the Reapers was that there was still a lot of fight left in humanity, and that fight, that unyielding desire to go on, was universal. The Reapers may have decimated Earth, Thessia, Palivan and countless other home worlds but the peoples had survived.

The Reapers had not.

No matter what challenges the galaxy may be facing, the greatest one had been met and destroyed, so the truth was, the worst was already over. The trick would be to remember this, and to push through the rubble and the muck without fear.

He felt his mood lighten, considering that at one time, the defeat of the monstrous synthetic creatures had seemed as insurmountable as recovery now did. But they'd done it and the citizens of the galaxy had faced it together.

The leaders who'd carried humanity and the rest of the worlds through this war were still here, he thought, or, he remembered sadly, most of them were. Anderson's death would be a blow to things, but Admiral Hackett would be there to lead humanity through the next phase of things, as he had the war.

Maybe, just maybe, things weren't as bad as they felt.

But, he realized, the most reassuring thing of all was something only Cortez and select others knew, something that the rest of the Alliance, humanity, and the galaxy didn't yet know, but something that would change it all.

Shepard would be there, too.

_**A huge thank you to Lisa for the beta and the shoulder to sob uncontrollably on. My burden is lessened by your friendship and I am grateful.**_

_**Thanks to Michele for her canon check! I really appreciate your help!**_


	5. The Rest Of Our Lives

**The Rest of Our Lives**

It all hurt. Every single square inch of her body just _hurt_.

Sounds that had once been filtered and dull were now riotous inside her head, each one clanging as if she were hung over. She struggled to understand the noises, certain she could discern her environment if she could isolate them.

She eventually managed to sort some of them out. She recognized some of the voices around her, not to whom they belonged, but that they were familiar to her. She could soon distinguish between the sounds of motion around her, footsteps and then…

Movement!

She could feel she was moving, she was certain of it, and the fog around her began to thin against the sheer excitement at the sensation. She could feel things happening around her, could feel shifts of weight and then someone touched her.

Their hands were cold.

Excitement coursed through her and the stimulation of her senses left her hungry for more. Each touch she felt, she wished to feel again, and with each voice heard, she silently begged the speaker to say something else. She felt what she knew was a sheet being pulled off of her legs and the goosebumps that followed were extraordinary.

Soon each feeling was less a revelation and more familiar to her. There was a pillow under her head and she could sense something tight across her cheek; she felt a pinch in her left arm and then someone touching her back.

Her thoughts felt more her own, and she was regaining control of herself. The fog which had kept her from understanding her circumstances began to lift, and while she'd known she was being cared for, the why had remained elusive.

Instantly, as if a switch had been flipped inside her, her memories were hers again, though jumbled and disconnected. She played with them, one-by-one, her mind full of images and the choices she'd made. It was then that she remembered the beam.

She'd barely made it through it, let alone to its base. Its intense light was a radical contrast to the darkness found inside the Citadel, and then the smell of the decomposing bodies had greeted her. Anderson had been there too, and soon they'd found one another. Lost in the cavernous expanse, they'd explored an area that neither she nor the admiral had ever seen in the once-familiar space station.

Their searching soon yielded the Illusive Man and his indoctrination was fully revealed.

She'd shot him in the end, but not before he'd made sure they'd understood the power of what he'd learned. She'd tried to reason with him, to help him see the horrors of his actions, to stop the madness he'd created, but it hadn't mattered. He was _theirs_, a puppet of the Reapers, and his will no longer his own.

The pain of her temporary submission, those mere seconds when the Illusive Man had unleashed the mind control of the Reapers against her had been excruciating. She recalled the weight of her gun in her hand, its sinister recoil as she'd shot her friend and mentor, David Anderson, in the gut. The sanctimonious look in The Illusive Man's hollow eyes was burned in her memory, as was the merciful understanding and forgiveness of her dying friend.

The Crucible docked, the Illusive Man now dead only a few feet away from where she and Anderson had sat, both exhausted, both slowed by their terrible wounds. She remembered Anderson's blood seeping around him. Blood _she_ had drawn.

"_You did good, child. You did good. I'm proud of you,"_ Anderson had rasped, the sound of his blood gurgling in his throat.

Soon, he was gone, his head sagging against his chest.

That moment, its cruelty fully remembered, unlocked the rest of her memories.

Questions formed in her mind as she worried for those she loved, wondered what had become of the Fleet. She'd not hesitated when the Catalyst had forced her to make a choice, and had known as she had squeezed the thick trigger of her weapon that she would die, so those battling for survival wouldn't.

It had been simple then.

But now, her emotions were scrambling from one dark corner of her mind to the next. What if she'd been too late? What if the Normandy was lost despite her intended sacrifice? She felt her heart whimper at the notion that perhaps they were lost…that _he_ was lost. What if after everything, if after the years of struggles and doubts, of working to bridge seemingly impossible chasms, the friends and the man she loved most – needed most - were simply…gone?

The thought made her wish the fog would return and take her back into its folds.

But then…it was warm, the hand that held hers. It was warm and the skin rough against hers, and it fit around hers like it always had.

_Kaidan?_

"Kate? Baby, open your eyes," he rasped softly.

_Kaidan!_

She tried but failed to see him.

"Kate? I'm here with you, I'm right here, just like I promised I would be."

She felt helpless, her eyes refusing to obey her desire.

"You know what I was thinking about last night?" he continued. "Those couple of days we had on the Citadel before the last SR1 mission, do you remember that?" His voice lowered to almost a whisper, and it came closer.

His words were just for her.

"Now that I think back on it, there's no way Anderson didn't know what we were up to," he chuckled. "But we took leave and snuck off to that fancy hotel way above the presidium - place was about three levels above my pay grade."

She remembered; it'd been wonderful.

"We couldn't be seen together, so you went to the commissary for supplies and bought some pricey wine you thought was from…someplace, I don't remember where, and it turned out to be Batarian shard wine. You were tipsy and mad, all at the same time." He sighed. "You were adorable; I couldn't keep my hands off of you."

He was rubbing her arm and she was enthralled by each word he spoke. His hand captured hers again and she knew she had to put everything she could into holding onto his.

"Hey! I felt that!" he exclaimed. "Do it again, Kate, please!"

"Keep talking to her, Alenko," said a woman who, from the position of her voice, was close by.

Miranda. It was Miranda who'd spoken to Kaidan. Kate then understood who it was that she'd sensed had been helping her, healing her.

"Open your eyes, Kate," he pleaded. "Kate! Look at me!"

It was blinding, the light in the room, but she didn't flinch and tried to focus, determined to make her eyes see his face again. She felt his lips press against her brow and then his honey-brown eyes met hers.

"K…ah…" she rasped, words failing to sound his name, her throat raw and her voice mute. A sob escaped her lips.

His forehead brushed against hers and he kissed her gently. "Hey," he crooned in the softest of voices, smiling at her. "There you are. I've been waiting for you."

**xXx**

Two hours later, Kaidan sat in the doctors' lounge, tucked in a secluded corner. Once Kate had fully awakened, her doctors had ushered him out, something he'd reluctantly allowed. When he'd left, she'd been wide-eyed and doing a pretty decent job of communicating.

His omni-tool was lit as he spoke with Garrus, who was still aboard the Normandy.

"That's fantastic news, Kaidan," the Turian said. "I can't wait to share it with the crew. And she knew who you were? She seemed okay?"

"Yeah, she definitely knew it was me," Kaidan replied, nodding. "As far as I could tell, though, she's Shepard. I told her what's been going on, or at least, I told her you and the crew are okay. I didn't want to wear her out with too much detail."

"What'd she say?"

"Nothing, actually, her voice is gone for now. They only pulled her ventilation tube out the last hour or so before they expected her to wake up," Kaidan explained. "Miranda said it would be a few days before she can really try talking. But she understood, and you know, you could see it in her eyes, she was relieved to hear about everyone."

"So, what's next then?"

"They're having her take a break right now; she's got diagnostics to do later today," Kaidan replied. "She's got to start eating again, she's pretty weak and Dr. Holder said returning to a regular diet over the next few days would help that. So, unless something glaringly wrong is spotted in her tests today, Miranda said they'll be trying to get her to stand up by end of the day."

"She can't stand up? I thought the fracture was good to go! What's wrong with her legs?"

Kaidan shook his head. "It's nothing serious, she's okay, it's just the lack of use and reduced nutrition. She's been in a bed for three weeks with limited muscle stimulus. You'd be surprised how quickly our muscles forget things."

"I suppose that makes sense," Garrus nodded. "Look, I don't want to horn in on a lover's reunion, or anything," he teased, "but for now, I'm apparently not in, uh, 'demand', we'll call it. So let me know when I can come visit her."

"Will do, Garrus," Kaidan answered. "I'm surprised to hear you say that, though. I thought the Alliance would have lots of things for the crew to do."

"And you'd be right, but _crew_ is the operative word there," Garrus replied. "Technically I'm not part of it, I'm a representative of the Primarch and the Turian government. It's made the command here on Mars a little squirrely about asking me to help out, even _with_ my offer to be at their disposal. They may still change their minds, but I'm not counting on it."

"Yeah, well, as soon as Hackett hears you're not being utilized, their attitude will change," Kaidan reasoned. "You're wise to take advantage of whatever downtime you get before then, though. I'll ask Miranda if Kate's able to have visitors. Anything else going on?"

"No, not really. James isn't screaming or throwing data pads around the ship from the lack of steady adrenaline rush just yet," he quipped. "Which, I have to say is a bit disappointing, since it would really up the entertainment factor onboard. Though, it's only been two days since he started his new gig as sitting CO, so there's still hope. I'll keep you posted on that."

Kaidan sniggered. "He's going to do fine."

"I don't doubt that," Garrus replied. "I just don't know how well he'll cope with playing nice with all the standard issue idiots he's _going_ to have to play nice with since it won't be followed up with shooting a couple dozen bad guys. It's a Zen thing, or some human word like that."

"Zen? Did you just say _Zen_?" Kaidan scoffed with a snort.

"You may laugh, but it's a theory I've got real confidence in. The only reason Shepard was always such an angel when dealing with assholes was because she got to unload a thermal clip or two into some _other_ asshole by the end of the day," Garrus explained. "I'm telling you, Kaidan, that _really_ takes the pressure off the ol' valves."

Kaidan couldn't help but grin and shook his head as he did. "Well, sound theory that may or may not be, I'll be in touch with James each day, so we'll make it work. He's got Traynor to keep him steady too." His eyes flicked to the other end of the screen, noting the time. "Speaking of which, I'm supposed to check in with him in a few so I'm going to sign off."

"Understood," Garrus agreed. "Hey, do me a favor though, tell Shepard I'm glad she's okay. And then tell her she owes me a drink. _A_ _big_ _damn_ _drink_."

Kaidan again smiled. "Got it. Let everyone know she's awake. Hackett is speaking with her medical team now, so I'm guessing that conversation will include deciding when to announce she's alive."

"Well, I'm sure Allers's girl squeal will pierce the bulkhead, alerting us all that she's been cleared to make the announcement."

The human biotic laughed at the idea and stood. "Thanks, Garrus, for the update on the crew, and for keeping an eye on things."

"Happy to do it, Kaidan, and let me know if there's anything else I can do to help. Now, go take care of our girl. Vakarian out."

**xXx**

Liara sat in her office, she and Glyph struggling to work out a new system for communicating with her agents.

Since the final battle with the Reapers, her agents had continued to check in from various locations throughout the galaxy. The difficulty was, many weren't able to execute their duties effectively, making her responses very slow.

Non-functional Relays combined with the additional strain of thousands of battered or missing communicational buoys, meant her people were reporting in erratic bursts, and their detail and insight into the various situations they were observing were lackluster at best.

It was difficult to track the movements or deeds of high ranking government officials when so many governments were simply _gone. _It was even more complicated to stay on top of the individuals whose roles in the galaxy would have warranted her attention; most had gone to ground ages ago and finding them was proving a true challenge.

Pushing back her chair, she frowned at the numerous blank screens which typically displayed a busier network. Something had to give if the Shadow Broker wanted to remain not only relevant, but in business.

Sighing heavily, she closed her eyes, her fatigue getting the better of her. It'd been hours since they'd taken a break, and she found her mind wandering, her worries for her missing family and friends on Thessia, for Feron, and ultimately for Shepard, distracting her fully.

It had been remarkably tempting to place one of her human agents in the hospital Shepard was being treated at once Liara had known her friend was alive. She'd resisted though, not because she thought Shepard would mind, no, in fact, she felt Shepard would be surprised that Liara had _not_ done so, but it was a choice made out of respect for Kaidan.

She knew her fellow biotic needed this time alone with Shepard, and that if Liara was observing things, even in such a removed manner, he would be unhappy at the perceived intrusion.

In the years since Shepard and her famous crew had become a fixture of the galactic media's reporting, Kaidan hadn't grown comfortable with the extra attention. Once he'd become a Spectre, the public's interest in him had only intensified.

His elevated status, coupled with his dark good looks and long-rumored romance with a galactic-wide hero, meant he'd had more than his fair share of cameras trained on him.

He was, as a result, acutely aware of the lack of privacy in his life and was intensely protective of the details of his and Shepard's relationship. He disliked the rumors that ran through the tabloids, bristling at their interpretation of every unguarded moment, of every grainy image the media could get of them when they'd thought they were alone.

Regardless, he always graciously and professionally met his command and political obligations; though those who knew him well knew he'd prefer to be left out of the 'hub-bub', as he'd once called it.

Liara smiled, thinking fondly of Shepard's very opposite reaction to such things.

Shepard, she knew, saw the media as a wonderful tool. Whether she used it to raise awareness of some misfortunate group, or to bolster the beleaguered spirits of the fighting forces, she'd never hesitated to accept an interview, or to smile warmly for the cameras.

The commander was outgoing and animated, known for teasing her crew and engaging with those in her chain of command on a more personal level. Her door was always open and she was known for going the extra mile to help someone on her team.

She'd embraced her popularity amongst the ranks of the Alliance, and with the other militaries of the galaxy, something she'd leaned on heavily in the last year's fighting. She inspired those around her to do better, to push harder, and had a way of making those close to her believe the impossible _was_ possible. But she did it in a keenly deliberate way, and was never at a loss for what to say or when to say it.

She never underestimated the power of a kind word or a well-timed grin for the cameras, and, more often than not, a stone-faced major stood close at her side as she worked her magic. But she knew how he felt, and she respected it, never involving him unless he indicated he wished to be and preventing reporters from roping him in.

Kaidan was a good man and he balanced Shepard's exuberance with a thoughtful countenance.

He was funny and kind, eager to serve the Alliance, and, like Shepard, wished to aid the down-trodden, no matter their race or species. He wanted to make his mark, but pursued doing so in a tempered way, and though he was far more reserved than the woman he loved, he'd learned to navigate the politics of the galaxy with precision and skill.

Their pairing hadn't surprised Liara; she'd seen their attraction from the start. But it was the resilience of their relationship, so harshly tested by her death and his turmoil at the circumstances of her return, that had surprised even their closest of friends.

It had hurt Shepard tremendously, Kaidan's lengthy struggle with trusting her again, but she'd calmly met each of his challenges and answered the questions he'd posed without hesitation.

During their mission on Mars, before he'd been so horribly injured, Liara had witnessed Kaidan's deliberate baiting of his lover. It had been difficult to watch their tense exchanges, to see the genuine pain her friends were in.

It had been clear to Liara that their feelings for each other still ran deep, but she'd begun to fear that Kaidan's anger ran far deeper.

Their armed confrontation on the Citadel during Cerberus's failed coup had been a nightmare for them all, but it had been _Shepard_ who'd lowered her weapon first, and not Kaidan, an observation which Liara had later gently made to the commander. It was one of the few times Shepard had ever been angry with her, and it had caught Liara off guard.

"_He's been to hell and back, Liara. Leave it alone,_" she'd snapped.

"_Your own time since your return hasn't been all that easy, either, Shepard_." Liara had countered, ignoring her friend's warning to change the subject. "_It's unfair for him to blame you for what's happened. He should…"_

"_It's not about fair, Liara!_ _I _died_! It changed everything!" _ the commander had argued.

"_You died at the hands of the Collectors, Shepard. You hardly had a choice in the matter!"_

Her human friend's shoulders had slumped and her voice was small when she replied.

"_Listen to me, okay? In the month he's been in the hospital, I've had more nightmares about that Cerberus machine nearly beating him to death than I have about the Reapers landing on Earth. It nearly broke me, seeing him like that and knowing he might die."_

"_You were not to blame for his injuries, surely you know this."_

"_I do! That's not the point."_

Liara had crossed her arms and frowned at Shepard. _"Then just what _is_ the point?"_

Shepard had closed her eyes for a moment.

"_The point is in those moments before I finally got that…that…_thing _off of him, I got a tiny glimpse of what his world was like when the SR1 broke apart!" _she'd exclaimed. _"And it made me realize that I don't really understand what he went through when he lost me - and you know what? - I don't _ever _want to, because, honest to God, Liara, I don't think I could take it."_

"_Shepard," _Liara had whispered.

The woman who Liara had never seen rattled was just that, and she'd held her hand up to silence the Asari. Neither woman spoke for several tense minutes, Shepard sighing heavily before she continued.

"_I don't know how he got through it, Liara, I really don't. At least I had all of you to help me, and at least I got the chance to save him. He didn't get to protect me, hell, I didn't even let him try! I ordered him off the damned ship! I ignored his pleas and made him leave!"_

Liara had been shaken by the intensity in Shepard's voice, her shock at hearing her normally steady voice cracking with pain the only thing that kept Liara silent.

"_So, I think he's earned the right to be angry, or afraid, or whatever it is that he's feeling. Because he was _here_, alone and I…I was gone."_

"_I can understand both sides, Shepard. You know I truly like Kaidan, and I don't mean to seem unsympathetic, but you said yourself, everything changed when you died," _Liara had replied softly_. "What if he can't move past it? What if all he can feel for you is anger and you're being hurt for nothing?"_

Shepard had turned her back and walked to the exit, her muscles tight, and her hand shaking slightly as she reached for the door's release. "_It's not, Liara, and we're done talking about this."_

And she'd left.

When she'd seen Shepard a few hours later, the commander acted as if their conversation had never occurred, and Liara had understood the unspoken meaning of her actions and never brought it up again.

Of course, Shepard's faith in Kaidan proved to be well founded. He'd returned to the Normandy, proverbial hat in hand, and had asked to rejoin the crew, but first, he'd explained his actions and apologized. It was then that they'd begun to find their way back to each other.

And Liara and the others, friends like Joker and Garrus, who'd once shared her concerns about the floundering relationship, realized their worries were groundless. No one had any doubt the reason Shepard had succeeded so greatly during the tumultuous last year was because she'd had Kaidan's love to lean on.

When they'd been forced to leave Sol without Shepard, not knowing if she was dead or alive, Liara and Garrus had worried for Kaidan, wondering how he would cope with the very real possibility that he'd lost Shepard for a second time.

The major had been their saving grace then, the strength and steadiness that their missing commander had relied on had kept the Normandy's crew safe and ready for duty. He'd guided them all through their darkest hour, and now, it seemed, he may be guiding Shepard back as well.

Liara stood and stretched, realizing that the day was nearly done, which meant the medical team on Earth should have awakened the commander. Her stomach flipped with worry and concern for her friend's health, and she said goodbye to Glyph, hurrying to the battery to speak with Garrus.

**xXx**

Shepard was exhausted but forced herself not to doze off; she wouldn't sleep until she saw Kaidan again.

The medical team had worked on her for hours, running multiple tests, and she was ready for the day to end. The doctors were huddled together, talking, and glancing her way every few minutes.

She resisted the urge to pull a funny face, biting her lip as she fought back a smile.

They were nearly finished with her for the day, or so she hoped, and she listened idly to the various doctors discussing her progress. It sounded like she was fine, at least, in her humble and uneducated opinion.

She chuckled softly at her self-assessment, knowing such a simplified synopsis would annoy Miranda no end. The action made her throat tighten and she sighed; the movement still didn't feel good, but the pain was already less than earlier this afternoon when she'd tried to speak to Kaidan.

"_Where is he?"_ she wondered, her eyes glancing to the glass windows that encased her room. It reminded her a bit of a fish bowl.

Miranda approached the bedside and patted her hand. "Shepard, things are looking very good. Your spinal implants seem to be working as well as before, and your tests indicated good electrical patterns."

She looked up at the woman she'd once been so leery of trusting, but now called friend, and shrugged.

Miranda arched an eyebrow and smiled gently. "It _means_, Shepard, that you're going to be fine, and very soon you'll be out of this bed and walking. You'll need physical therapy, but we'll hold off for a few more days on that. First you need to eat and get your strength back."

Dr. Holder came to stand next to Miranda. "The newest scans of your face show us the drainage tube at your ear can come out in another day or so. The tissue is healing beautifully," the doctor explained. "There are cognitive trials for you to complete, but those can wait until tomorrow to begin."

Shepard nodded and gave a thumbs up, and the short doctor grinned in response. "I'm not all that concerned in that regard, it seems like all the lights are on, wouldn't you agree Miss Lawson?" she asked, tapping a finger to her temple and glancing at Miranda before she stepped from the bedside. "Anyway, good night, Commander, I'll see you in the morning. Miranda, I'll see you in the briefing."

Miranda stared after the doctor before turning back to Shepard, a look of surprise on her face. "Honestly, that woman has kept me on my toes this entire time," the brunette said. "Who knew she was so…nice?"

Shepard grinned and pointed at herself.

Miranda laughed. "Ah yes, another case of hero worship. Had I known, I would have wanted you up even earlier, and gotten her off my case. Blasted cow checks every 'i' for its dot."

Shepard nodded and gestured for Miranda to come closer. "Kaidan?" she breathed, most of the sound barely escaping her tortured throat, but it was enough for Miranda to understand.

"Ah, of course. Alenko's pacing the hall, waiting to see you. Now that we're finished, I'll clear all these folks out and let him in." She turned to her colleagues and efficiently ushered them all out, saying goodnight to Shepard before she too left the room.

She could hear Kaidan's husky voice coming from the hall and smiled at the sound. She heard Miranda answer a few of his questions and a moment later, he came into the room, closing the door behind him.

"Hey there," he said, grinning as he approached her. "Sounds like you had quite the afternoon."

She nodded and he sat on the side of the bed, taking her hand into his and placing a quick kiss to it.

"It also sounds like they think they've put you back together pretty well."

She smiled and flexed her good arm, showing her muscle and eliciting a chuckle from him. She loved that sound. Patting the bed beside her, she tried to move over, but he immediately stopped her.

"Kate, I'd love to climb in next to you, you know that, but you're covered in healing burns on one side and you've got a broken elbow and new fingers on the other," he reasoned. "How about I just sit here and hold your hand?"

She shook her head and tried to move again.

"Kate, babe, _stop_," he ordered. "Look, we've got our whole lives to hold each other, so we can make this work, right?" he asked softly, holding up their joined hands. His voice dropped to a near whisper as his eyes met hers. "And that…_that's_ the first time I've ever been able to say that...we've got our whole lives…" He blinked back tears and forced a laugh. "Who'd have thought?"

She felt warmth spread through her and she nodded, squeezing his hand. "I love you," she rasped.

"I love you," he replied, his voice tight with emotion. "And when you're out of here, I'm going to spend the rest of my days making sure you know it."

_**Thank you to Lisa for polishing this chapter – she's FINALLY playing ME3, so she's enduring both my poor grammar AND spoilers, bless her! Thank you to Michele for her medical critique and her help with maintaining character...well, character.**_

_**I hope that all of you have a very Merry Christmas and happy holiday season! Happy New Year and thank you for following and reviewing – I am so grateful!**_


	6. Extra Whipped Cream

**Extra Whipped Cream**

Cortez stood inside the maintenance well under the Kodiak and waved his arm over the tail-end of the vessel, his omni-tool quickly confirming the adjustments he'd made to the output couplings had given the shuttle the improvements he'd hoped for. The next time he got stuck waiting for docking clearance, the yaw of the small craft would be greatly trimmed, which should help reduce the complaints of the less 'hardened' individuals he'd begun to ferry to and from Earth.

"Hoo-rah, we all do our part," he muttered with a shake of his head. The pilot sighed and turned off the tool, packing up his gear before he climbed out of the well and secured the tools inside the shuttle.

"Yo! Esteban!" bellowed James as he entered the hangar bay. "Where you at, man?"

"Hey, James," Cortez called out, stepping out of the shuttle as he spoke. He stopped short once he spotted his friend. "Whoa," he said slowly, arching an eyebrow. "You look like shit."

"Thanks, amigo, that's just awesome, thanks," James said, forcing a scowl. "I come down here to relax, to chill and catch up with you, maybe get a little workout in, and that's my hello? Nice to see you, too."

Cortez chuckled. "It's said out of love, my friend," he explained.

James leaned against the console by Cortez's station. "I might, may be, a little tired," he said with a sigh. "And it's possible I may have underestimated what a pain in the ass being in charge of this zoo was going to be."

The pilot grinned widely. "Really? You?"

"Shut the hell up, man."

"Well, let me ask you then," Cortez began," how _is_ it going?"

James shrugged. "I guess the best way to put it would be that nobody outside of the crew seems to know I'm in over my head," he answered. "Thank God for Traynor, I honestly couldn't do it without her."

"You _do_ know I'm just running delegates and line officers to and from their meetings, right?" Cortez asked. "I've got a lot of time on my hands between runs, or if I'm on stand-by, there're times I'm sitting in the shuttle alone for hours, nothing to do."

"You handling that with some self-lovin' or are you hurrying the fellas in and out?"

"Shut the fuck up," Cortez answered, laughing loudly.

"Don't deny it, Esteban! I was pretty sure I saw a pair of tighty-whiteys kicked up under a seat in there," James added, gesturing to the Kodiak, his face straight, but his teasing showing in his eyes.

Cortez laughed hard, crossing his arms. "Yeah, well, all I was _trying_ to say, was I've got the time to help you with some things, reports, duty rosters, you know, whatever isn't command decision stuff."

"If you've really got the time, then that would be _great_, man, I'd really appreciate it."

The pilot shrugged. "It might cut into my 'fellas' time, but I think I'll make it work. Just send me what you need done and I'll take care of it."

"You sure? I don't want to crimp your style," James teased before he clapped his friend on the back. "Thanks, Esteban," he said sincerely and then glanced around the hangar bay. "How's it going down here?"

"Nothing too exciting, just a lot of standard runs," Cortez replied. "I'm not quite ready to admit I miss the challenge of dropping Shepard into those hotspots, but I'm getting real dang close. Standard orbit isn't the thrill ride I'm used to."

James laughed. "Just listen to you! How many times did we sit around down here, wishing things would cool off for a while and now?"

"_Now_ I'm doing paperwork for you while ferrying brass back and forth. Whoopee!" Cortez said, whirling his finger in the air as he spoke. "Hey, things could be worse."

"Shit, things _have_ been worse," James snorted. "Now the worst threat I'm facing is death by data-pad avalanche."

"Don't tell me you're missing husks and banshees already? Jeez, James, you need to get out more if that's the case."

"Speaking of which," James began, "it's been almost a week since the commander woke up. I was thinking of asking permission for some of us to visit her, what do you think?"

Cortez looked thoughtful, his easy smile slipping from his face as he shook his head. "To be honest, I think you should give it another week or so. Garrus is Shepard's best friend, but even _he's_ waiting on the major to green light his trip, so I'd guess anyone else will probably get shut down."

James nodded, scrubbing his face. "Yeah, good point. I just, uh, was thinking about it, that's all."

"We all are," Cortez replied. "Truth is, it'd be good for the whole crew to see her, but until they make the announcement and she's out of the hospital, that's probably not going to happen either."

"I know, I know, but it's just…you and me, Tali, Liara, Joker and Garrus? We're not just her crew, you know? We're her friends," James said sadly. "I just want to lay eyes on her, make sure she's alright."

"She is," Cortez said seriously. "She's got the major there and she's going to be fine."

"I know," James replied, his tone almost childlike. "I get it, she'll be back up here kicking our tails in no time, but still, when I think about how messed up she was…look, I didn't _say_ it made sense; I just said I wanna go."

Cortez chuckled, resting his hand on James's shoulder. "Hombre, I'm used to you not making any sense, and it doesn't bother me..."

"Ha ha," James interrupted sarcastically, shrugging Cortez's hand off.

The pilot smiled and finished his sentence. "But I'll admit, I can understand how you feel. I flew Alenko down there, saw the facility and then _left_."

"That's right," James recalled. "I hadn't thought of that. That would have sucked."

"It did, but like anything else, we do what we have to do, until we can do otherwise, right?" the pilot asked quietly.

"Yes sir," the bulky marine reluctantly agreed. "Though, that sucks too. Just sayin'."

Cortez tapped on the console screen of his work station and checked the time. "My shift's done and you _still_ look like shit," he said. "If you're not smart enough to get some Zs while things are slow, then I'm headed to the mess, if you want to join me."

James nodded, running a thick hand through his buzz-cut. "Let's eat."

**xXx**

Her eyes fluttered open.

The room was dark, with the exception of the light coming from the various monitors and machines near her bed. Carefully she rubbed her eyes, blinking slowly as her vision cleared.

The blinds on the window facing the outside were cracked slightly, allowing her to see the pale pink hues of the sunrise. A smile tugged at her lips, gratitude washing through her as she silently gave thanks for another day. Her mind was calm as she considered everything that had been given for that hope, one that for the last several years had not been one she'd held.

She sighed peacefully. "Life goes on," she breathed.

She pondered the new magnitude of those oft repeated words, realizing that while many she loved and called friend wouldn't see today's sunshine, so many others would. Birds would sing, babies would be born, and everything would be alright.

Simple yet remarkably profound, and worth everything given, everything lost, for the unappreciated hope it would again bring to the galaxy.

She shifted in the bed, stretching her bedsore back and legs.

In the week since she'd awakened, she'd had the drain tube removed from behind her ear, been released from burn treatment, started physical therapy for her arm and leg, and completed all of the cognitive tests the Alliance could come up with. She was eating normally, had been allowed to bathe, and had regained her voice.

Even she knew it was all a miracle.

The first three nights, Kaidan had slept at her bedside on an assembly of chairs. They'd talked of the broken ribs and dislocated shoulder he'd received at the beam's base, from a shredded transport being tossed over them by the massive firepower raining down; he and Garrus had nearly been crushed to death.

She'd never been so scared in her life, those few moments she thought she'd lost them. He'd been in the Med Bay when _Normandy_ had made their jump out of Sol, unaware that she'd been left behind. His hands had shook when he'd shared that memory.

He'd told her of her mother's death, and had held her as she'd cried. She'd shared everything that had happened on the Citadel and confessed it was she who'd shot their mentor, Admiral Anderson. His reaction to that horrible truth had been a badly needed balm to her soul, as he'd quietly kissed her and reminded her that the kind of power used against her to pull the trigger was gone, that she wasn't to blame, that she and Anderson had saved them all.

"I heard his last words to you," he'd admitted softly, reaching out and touching her hair. "I only heard pride and relief in them, Kate, no blame. He knew it wasn't your choice."

She closed her eyes now and savored the words again, feeling safe and whole, which was just what he'd intended by them. God, she loved that man.

The door to her room quietly opened, pulling her from her thoughts as she sat up to greet the expected morning nurse, but it was Kaidan's handsome face that appeared in the opening. A smile bloomed across his dark features and he entered, shutting the door softly behind him.

"Hey," he said in a hushed tone. "You're up already."

She nodded and smiled, reaching out to him. He settled on the side of the bed, leaning in to kiss her, his fingers gently cradling her face. "Good morning," he whispered against her lips.

"Good morning," she replied, kissing him softly. "You're in here early, did you come to bust me out? 'Cause I'm ready!"

He chuckled. "I wish," he replied. "But no. I've got meetings I shouldn't skip, so I wanted to say hello before they took you to PT and I missed you."

"Anything I can help with?"

"Nope, not yet, Kate, and remember, you gave me your word. You focus solely on walking out of here, healthy and able, and I'll handle the rest until then," he answered.

She pushed her lower lip out in an exaggerated pout.

"Cute, but that probably won't work, since you're not three years old," he said, pushing her lip back in before kissing it quickly. "But don't worry, it's nothing too big anyway, just a few personnel items to review with Command and I'm supposedly being briefed on the situation with my students from Spec Ops. I say supposedly because this is the third such brief I should have had and to date, they've cancelled each one."

She studied him, her brow furrowed as she remembered that his former students weren't the only people in his life that were missing. "Kaidan, what about your parents, have you heard anything? Where are they?"

Sadness marred his face as he shook his head. "I don't know. Dad's still MIA, his last know location was at a skirmish outside of Vancouver, and, well, I haven't heard anything about my mother."

"What are they doing so people can find each other?"

He shrugged. "They've got a registry set up, it's all linked. They've got scouts looking for encampments, hideouts, you know, the more rural places people may have holed up. Anybody they find they enter into the database, but resources are still very limited. Command estimates they've got less than three percent of survivors registered."

"So, maybe she just hasn't registered?" she ventured, her voice hopeful. "She was pretty far out, right?"

"Yeah, the cabin and orchard are at least fifty miles from town, which itself is pretty remote," he replied. He shifted, pulling her hand from his. "There's not a lot I can do about this right now."

"You could go after her."

He stood up and walked over to the window, leaning a hip against it, and looking at her before he crossed his arms. "No."

She watched him for a moment, knowing she'd annoyed him with her suggestion, but was not willing to let the matter drop just yet.

"I'm fine, you know that," she began softly. "I'm not in any more danger, and Dr. Holder said I'd be here maybe another week, maybe longer, and then rehab somewhere," she reminded him gently. "That's a long time to wait. You could take a shuttle out…"

"No," he snapped, cutting off her words, his brown eyes flashing, before he turned away and ran a hand through his hair.

"Kaidan."

"This _isn't_ open to debate! My parents have…" he sighed heavily, bracing his hands on the windowsill. He voice was low when he continued. "Kate, my parents have been on Earth since day one of this war. The reality is, they either survived the occupation or they…they didn't."

"I know," she whispered, hating the pain in his voice.

"I don't know that Mom stayed at the cabin and I have no way of knowing where my father is, so it's complicated. Running off into the wilderness, _alone_, with no idea where to start won't do anybody any good. I can't go on my own, and the resources to find them don't really exist right now," he rasped. "So, like it or not, I'm just going to have to trust the system."

She bit her lip. "A quick shuttle ride, out to the cabin, just to see..."

"_There are no resources for that kind of thing!_ There aren't 'quick' shuttle rides anymore! Cortez has basically become a taxi driver, things are _that_ strained," he explained, his voice climbing, his frustration in every word. "It is what it is, Kate."

"But they might need help, Kaidan. He could be wounded somewhere, or confused; she may not be able to travel," she replied gently.

"Do you honestly think I haven't thought of all that?" he demanded, his head hanging. "It's _always_ in the back of my mind, Kate, and I'm as worried as I am helpless," he whispered, looking out the window. He turned back to her, his tone steadier. "But damn it, even if I could do something, until you're out of here, this is _where_ I should be, with _you._ And knowing my parents, how devoted they are to each other, they'd agree."

She knew him well enough to know he had no intention of changing his mind and realized her pushing the matter was only hurting him. "Okay, I'm sorry, you're right. We'll do whatever you think is best," she said quietly and he nodded. "But when I _am_ out of here, if you haven't heard anything, the first thing we're doing is finding them. Deal?"

He snorted. "Hackett's going to love _that_."

"Deal?" she repeated, ignoring his comment.

"It won't be easy, Kate."

The door to her hospital room open and a nurse smiled at them.

"Good morning! How are you today, Commander? Good morning, Major," she said as she entered. "Ma'am, you've got a full schedule, starting with physical therapy in a half hour. I've got your breakfast; I'll be right back with it. It's pancakes! Ready to start the day?" she asked excitedly. The chipper woman didn't wait for her reply, but instead darted back out of the room to retrieve her breakfast.

"Good God," Shepard began in a low tone, crossing her eyes as she pulled a face in Kaidan's direction. She was eager to make him smile again. "She's always _so_ _happy!_ Doesn't she know what _time_ it is?"

"Clearly she hasn't heard you're not a morning person," he teased, watching her plaster on an impossibly fake grin as the nurse re-entered.

"Here we are!" announced the nurse grandly as she carried in her tray. "Voila!" she exclaimed, lifting the lid and smiling.

Kate nodded. "Wow. Thank you," she said as sincerely as she could.

The nurse winked. "You betcha, Commander! Now, you eat and I'll be back in about twenty minutes to get you transported to the rehabilitation suite, okay? Enjoy!" she said and quickly left the room.

Sitting forward in her bed, she looked down at the pancakes, bacon and orange slices. "Want some?" she asked, picking up her knife and fork.

"Sure," he replied as he settled on the foot of the bed.

"You didn't answer me, you know," she said as she tried to slice the food. "Damn, this is tricky with one hand."

He plucked the silverware from her and effortlessly cut up their food. She grinned at him. "Sure, make it look easy, with your _two_ good hands," she quipped. He offered her back the fork, but she arched an eyebrow. "Do we have a deal?"

He shook his head. "You're relentless, you know that?" he observed good-naturedly. "Fine, to answer you, yes, we have a deal – but you can only come with me on two conditions."

"What? No conditions, Kaidan, they're your parents, we have to go find them."

"No, _I_ have to find them, _you_ don't have to come. If you want to, then there are two conditions, Kate."

She held his gaze for a moment. "And those are?"

"First, you have to be one hundred percent. You have to be able to walk, climb, run, shoot, whatever else we may need to do," he explained. "The wilderness there is some of the last truly untouched areas on the North American continent; it'll be rugged terrain without a lot of resources to ease that."

She inclined her head. "Okay, the second?"

"You're going to have to take a few orders from me."

She shrugged. "Easy enough."

He scoffed. "Maybe, maybe not," he said. "You're used to being unquestioned, but unless I'm remembering wrong, you grew up on spaceships. I've spent a lot of time camping and exploring the lands that surround my parents' cabin, I know it like the back of my hand," he explained.

"Meaning you know what you're doing out there, and I don't, so I need to zip it and do as I'm told," she summarized.

He frowned. "No, I wasn't saying…"

"Stop, I'm teasing," she said. "I get it, it's fine, and you're right. You need to know that I'll pay attention and not stomp through the woods, all 'Commander Shepard' style."

His frown disappeared, replaced by a twinkle in his brown eyes. "Something like that, yes. I won't place in you danger, and not being aware of the hazards out there will do just that. You'll have to follow my lead."

"I can do that."

"Okay," he replied in that gravelly tone she adored. He offered her his hand to shake. "Then we have a deal."

She put down her fork and took his hand. "Besides, following means I'll get to look at your ass," she said saucily. "Maybe even grab at it once in a while. Give it a kiss, a smack," she teased, loving that color rose in his cheeks as he finally laughed. "God, you're cute. I love making you blush."

He grinned, meeting her gaze, and lowered his voice. "Tell you what," he rasped, standing slightly, placing a soft kiss to her cheek, whispering his words. "You get better, and when we get out on the trails, you can grab it, and me, as much as you want," he breathed, his warm breath feathering across her skin. "I may even grab you back."

She shivered, his teasing touch giving her goosebumps.

The door opened and the nurse returned; Kaidan placed a quick kiss to Shepard's earlobe and she shivered again.

"Good timing!" Kaidan declared, winking at Shepard before rising to his full height and stepping back, allowing the nurse to pull the wheelchair up to the bedside.

Shepard sat back as the nurse removed the tray. She tossed back the bed sheet and swung her legs around unassisted, the nurse bracing herself so that Shepard could stand and turn to sit into the wheelchair.

"Ready?" the nurse asked, removing the brake and beginning to roll the commander from the room.

"And _motivated_!" Shepard replied, waving good-bye to Kaidan, whose soft laugh followed her into the hall.

**xXx**

Joker looked down at the hand he'd been dealt and knew it was shit, but he was determined to bluff his way through the round, eager to wipe the smug look off of Garrus's face.

He studied his Turian friend and watched his scarred mandibles twitch, realizing suddenly that the look on Garrus's face might not actually _be_ a smug one; he squinted his eyes, cocking his head slightly and…nah, he was right the first time.

"Joker, are you trying to burn a hole in my skull?" Garrus asked casually, sorting his cards, not looking up at the pilot.

"Nope."

The Turian glanced at his friend. "Is there some reason you're staring at me?"

"It's your astonishing good looks, man, who knew a shotgun to the face could do such wonders," Joker quickly replied. "What do you think? I'm trying to guess your hand!"

The sniper chuckled. "Well, how about you put all your chips in and find out," he said. "But be careful moving that pitiful pile of yours to the middle, I'd hate for you to shatter your pelvis or something."

Steve snorted while Tali openly laughed.

"Yuck, yuck, yuck," Joker groused, a small smile on his lips.

"Hey, the word is, you talked to Shepard, is that true?" Steve asked, speaking to Garrus. "How'd she look?"

"Like Shepard, just a little more black and blue than usual," Garrus answered. "We spoke very briefly, just a quick hello over Alenko's omni-tool."

"Still, that's better than the rest of us, James and I were just talking about a visit," Steve commented. "Hey! James! Come over here, Garrus saw the commander!"

James stood and leaned against the glass partition. "I hadn't heard that! How is she? When did you go?"

"Just to clarify, I saw her via Alenko's omni-tool, not in person, and it was only for a few minutes," Garrus said. "She's coming along well, said she's hoping to make a full recovery and be out soon."

"How much longer are they keeping her?" Joker asked while counting his chips. "It's been over a month, hasn't it?"

"Joker, you heard that medic's report," Tali said. "Six weeks seems like nothing, when you listen to that horrible file."

"Kaidan said no more than another week, and then she'll rehab somewhere," Garrus said. "Apparently, she's healing remarkably well, is in physical therapy, and at this point, they're really just waiting for the pins in her elbow to do…something…I can't remember what, before they release her."

"Amazing," Tali marveled. "A Quarian would never have even survived the puncture of his or her suit, let alone the injuries Shepard had." She traced a valve on her covered arm with a long finger. "But not for much longer, soon we'll be strong again, thanks to the Geth, to Legion."

"Hey, make sure you tell the commander that," Joker said. "Then maybe she'll let you handle the next 'noble sacrifice' that comes our way. Are we going to play, or what?"

"Wonder what she'll do now this war's over?" Steve speculated, counting out four silver chips and tossing them into the pot. "I mean, after everything that's happened, do you think she'll return to duty?"

"What do you mean?" James asked with a shrug. "You thinkin' she and the major will ride off into the sunset or something? She's earned it."

"Vega, you've got to be kidding," Joker replied, looking at the soldier from under the brim of his SR2 cap. "She reported for duty while still _technically _dead_._ No way she's _not_ returning."

"She came back to fight the Reapers, Joker, but that threat is gone," James pointed out. "She's only thirty-two. Maybe after dying, returning from the dead and saving the galaxy's ass three separate times, she'd like to do something else. I mean, wouldn't you?"

"Like what? _Knit_?" the pilot said with a snort. "Come on, man."

Tali's fingers tapped on the felt tabletop. "Shepard? I don't know, James, you do have a point," she pondered, her voice thoughtful. "But she's an Alliance brat, or whatever your people call it, and she's very happy with the major, who I don't see leaving the military, do you? No, I think she'll remain Alliance."

Liara appeared at James's elbow. "I confess, I have wondered this myself. When we were at the base in London, Shepard and I spoke. Her words have made me think she may be ready for a different path."

"Wrong," Joker said, pointing at James and then moving his finger to Liara. "Wrong again."

"Maybe, but after everything Shepard's been through, after what _they've_ been through as a couple, maybe not," Steve argued, leaning forward. "Having the person you love die, or _nearly_ die, in both their cases, well, it changes you. I know that all too well. Priorities get shifted after that," he continued. "Is it so crazy to think those two might not want to see the other one in constant danger, something a life with the Alliance will always present? I don't know."

"Well, I _do_ know. I've been here with the commander since day one, and I'm telling you, she'll be back. She'll be back to knocking bad guys' heads together, hanging up on the Council, and cheating like all hell at these games of ours in no time. I guaran-damn-tee it. Then we'll finally be back to normal around here," Joker said, his tone hard. "We'll get out of this two bit space station and get to work, and things can be like they were."

Steve's concern for Joker was obvious as he cleared his throat. "Not entirely, Jeff," he said quietly. "Our losses won't go away; we'll still have to face them."

"Whatever, Cortez," Joker deflected, studying his cards intensely. "Believe what you want."

"Does anyone want to know what I think?" Garrus asked, sitting back in his chair and picking up his glass of whiskey. "I _am_ her best friend, you know."

"No," Joker replied. "We want to end this unscheduled therapy session and play some poker."

"Shepard might chase after a few things when she's feeling better," the Turian said, ignoring the pilot. "She probably will, now that you mention it, and who the hell can blame her. She's earned the right, like James said, and then some."

"Damn straight she has," James agreed.

"But in the end," Garrus continued, "she is what she is – an old soldier. Mark my words, fellas, she'll be back."

They all grew quiet, and after a moment, James and Liara returned to their own conversation on the couch. All bets were in and the hand started.

"Wait," Tali said. "Shepard cheats at poker?"

The friends laughed, Tali tossing her cards down. "Bosh'tet. No one tells me anything!"

**xXx**

Shepard waited patiently as the tech removed the tiny leads from her thigh and calf, leaning against the support bar as he popped them off, one by one. She'd spent the last few days working here in the rehabilitation suite of the medical center, each day more intense than the previous one, focusing on her balance and how to properly compensate for her braced leg. But she'd just completed a series of small obstacle courses without the brace, the leads transmitting the muscle and strength distribution to the tech's monitors.

"Sorry, Commander, I'm nearly done," the man said softly as he gently removed them.

She smiled down at him. "I'm the one who should be saying sorry," she replied. "I haven't shaved in over a month."

He stood and grinned. "Yes, ma'am, but if this read-out looks as good as I think it will, you'll be brace free by the end of the day."

"Oh, that would be great!"

"You're nearly there, Shepard," said Miranda from behind her. "And he's right about the read-out. That fractured femur and kneecap are good as new," she said, then spoke to the tech who was reaching for Shepard's brace. "Don't bother putting her back in it. She can skip the wheelchair ride too."

"Really?" Shepard gaped. "Can I go home now?"

Miranda shook her head, but smiled. "According to these numbers your weight distribution is slightly off," the scientist replied. "Hardly unexpected, but you'll need a little more time in here, but the good news is, you can walk with a cane."

"A cane?"

"Yes, a cane," the brunette replied. "You can hardly work crutches, Shepard."

"Okay, good point," Shepard replied with a frown. "Miranda? I wanted to ask you about the scarring on my back and side. How bad do you think it'll be?"

Miranda studied her for a moment and then answered. "I've asked Dr. Chakwas to consult with us on that."

"Alright, that makes sense; I mean, I suppose the derma-regeneration technique she used on me before should work again, right?"

"It should, in theory, but these scars are a bit different," Miranda explained. "Burn scars, like the ones you have, tend to thicken over time, though the grafts should minimize that. But you did suffer from some infection to the area, which is different than what we started with when Cerberus recovered you."

"Why would that matter?"

Miranda paused and took the data-pad the tech was offering her, then stepped back, allowing the young man to pass. "Can she get a cane please?" she inquired, to which the tech nodded and quickly left the room.

"Thank you," she murmured as he passed, before turning back to Shepard. "Well, infection can't thrive on a dead host, so while your body was covered with dirt and debris, being dead, your skin wasn't able to provide the environment an infection would have needed to thrive. I took advantage of that and sterilized your entire body before we even considered your reanimation."

"And…" Shepard prodded.

"And I didn't have to contend with the level of cellular damage that we've had to on this go-round," Miranda finished. "The skin grafts I placed in the lab were applied to a germ-free host in a totally sterile environment. The only scarring you had were from the cybernetics, and even then, they weren't truly scars, but more like still-too-thin seams of the grafts. You did get roused earlier than planned, you'll recall."

"But what will that mean for the scars _this_ time?"

"We won't know until we start that therapy," Miranda answered. "But your face has healed perfectly, so at the very least, if you _do_ scar, it'll be under your uniform. They'll only be visible when you're undressed."

The tech returned to the room, a black cane in his hand.

Shepard grimaced. "Miranda, do I really have to use that?"

"Yes, you do. Why? Would you rather have the brace?"

The commander shook her head. "No, it's just, my grandma used one of those."

"I never knew you were so vain," Miranda teased.

"Ha! That from the woman in the skin-tight jump suit?" Shepard laughed. "Hello, pot, I'm the kettle."

Miranda slowly arched an eyebrow, pinning Shepard with an unrelenting stare. "Are you honestly _complaining_, Commander?" she asked, crossing her arms.

Shepard tried to match Miranda's intense look, but failed. "No," she said slowly, sighing. "I _hate_ it when you do that," she grumbled. "That stare is _evil_."

Miranda chuckled. "Yes, but effective. Look, if this were your grandmother's time, you'd be in hospital for another six months. Modern medicine does amazing things, Shepard, but it can't catch you if you fall."

Both women became silent, allowing the tech to adjust the cane, sizing it correctly for the commander.

"Take a spin for me," he requested, gesturing to the small track in the room. "But walk normally; you shouldn't use the cane to move. It's only to help stabilize you if you begin to lose your balance."

"So walk with it, but not _with_ it. Got it," Shepard replied, starting out. She glanced back at Miranda. "It's not permanent, right? Using this thing?"

"No, it's not," Miranda explained, shaking her head. "It's just a precaution, and only for a week or so, by then we'll be certain you're fully stable and balanced."

"Ta-da!" Shepard said as she finished a lap, the tech directing her to take a another one. "Okay, that wasn't so bad, I didn't even use it," she admitted as her second trip was nearly complete.

"Hey! Look at you!"cheered Kaidan as he entered the suite. "You'll be running in no time!" he said with a grin. He glanced at Miranda. "Good afternoon."

"Good afternoon, Major," Miranda replied. "Maybe not running just yet, but if she keeps this up, she's a lot closer to discharge, that's for certain."

Shepard grinned widely. "How were your meetings?" she asked Kaidan, walking over to him.

He smiled, waiting as he watched her slowly approach. "You're amazing, you know that?" he asked, happiness in his eyes. "A week ago you were in a coma!"

Miranda thanked the tech and turned to the couple. "Shepard and I were just talking about her scars," she began, pausing to study a new alert pinging on her omni-tool.

"On your back?" he asked, meeting Shepard's eyes. "What about them?"

"We've asked Dr. Chakwas to decide if the derma-regeneration treatment she applied to Shepard two years ago will be as effective on the burns as it was on her reconstruction scarring," Miranda explained. "We'll see what comes of it."

"Okay," Kaidan replied, studying Shepard.

Miranda stepped past them. "I'll trust you to walk her back. I'll go speak with Dr. Holder about these updates," she said before leaving them alone.

Once alone, Kaidan kissed her forehead. "Who brought up the scars?"

"I did."

He sighed. "Are you worried about it? Something I don't know?"

"They're going to be _bad_, Kaidan," she said quietly. "Ugly. You haven't seen me, thank God, but more than half of my back looks really awful."

"Ah," he replied. "You do know I won't care, right?"

"Well, sure, you say that, but you haven't…"

"Because, you, naked," he interrupted, as he leaned close, his nose at her ear as he inhaled deeply, his hands gliding down her frame. "Jesus, Kate, there's nothing more beautiful than that."

She felt her heart skip, knowing he meant every word, and smiled softly, melting in his arms. "Okay."

"So, we're clear?" he asked in a husky tone. "No worrying about the scars."

"Got it," she whispered, kissing his neck.

He gently rubbed her back, choosing to tenderly caress the area she was so worried about. A few moments later, he leaned back, resting them both against a support bar as he held her.

"So, how are you feeling? How was PT?"

"Good," she sighed. "I have to use this stupid cane for a while. How were your meetings? How was the briefing?"

"Everything's fine, Vega and Traynor have got the _Normandy_ covered, and my Spec Ops briefing got postponed. No surprise there," he replied before sighing. "But listen, Joker let me know the scuttle is Hackett's visiting you tomorrow. Apparently, he's been on Mars today and Cortez is flying his staff around."

"I'd wondered when he'd get here. Debrief time," she whispered, reaching up and touching the collar of his BDUs.

"That and I'd guess official notification about your mother," he said gently. "Are you ready for this?"

She nodded. "I am, though I'm sorry for Hackett. He has to follow protocol, of course, but he was her friend too," she whispered.

"I know," he replied softly. "Ready to tell what happened up there?" he asked, referring to her experiences aboard the Citadel with the Reaper A.I.

She shrugged. "Of course."

"You did what you had to, Kate," he said. "I believe that one hundred percent."

"I know, and thanks," she replied, meeting his eyes. "I just can't help but wonder how it'll go, explaining it all. Even _I_ think it sounds crazy and I was there. They may think I've finally taken one too many to the head."

"The admiral's always had your back, Kate, you know that. Politics just…muddied the waters," he pointed out. "But things are different this time - the Council, the committees, all those ass-kissing bureaucrats? - well, we're _all_ soldiers now, brothers-in-arms. They'll listen."

"I hope so," she said. "Because if they don't, if we don't learn from this, then we may well doom those in the future to another war like this one, and we lost too many good people to let that happen."

He nodded. "You're right," he agreed. "And I'll be damned if we went through all this just to have our great-great-grandchildren face something like the Reapers. Not if we can help it," he said, then checked the time on his omni-tool. "Hey, come on, let's get something to eat, I'm starving. We can talk this over in the cafeteria," he said, turning and opening the door to the hall.

She walked through it slowly, her eyes locked with his as she passed.

"What?" he asked, her gaze making him self-conscious as he looked down at his uniform, brushing at it before looking back up at her.

"So it's _our_ great-great-grandkids, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess I did say that, didn't I?" he asked, looking sheepish, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "You, ah, you okay with that idea?"

She grinned. "Well, I didn't exactly run away, did I?"

He matched her smile with his own beaming one, rocking on his heels before his eyes glanced at the cane. "No, but, that could be because of the cane."

She laughed, her cheeks flushing bright pink. "For that, Alenko, you're buying my lime jello, _and_ you're springing for the extra whipped cream."

_**Lisa, beta extraordinaire, once again saved y'all from an avalanche of poorly placed possessive apostrophes...she's awesome! Liso, thank you again for your check of canon and character, and a second thank you to both of you, for your rapid brainstorming today. **_

_**Thank you for reading and reviewing! I love to read your thoughts and hope you continue to enjoy this story!**_


	7. Turian Dating Tips

**Turian Dating Tips**

Admiral Hackett's shuttle arrived ahead of schedule and the hospital administration staff was in a near panic.

Kaidan and Kate had been settled comfortably in her hospital room, watching old vids on his omni-tool, when they noticed the scuttle in the hallway outside the room. Kaidan was ready in his dress blues and Kate in a pair of loose BDU pants and a large t-shirt of Kaidan's. As her arm still in a sling, donning anything tailored was still impossible.

"Looks like Hackett's here," she said, watching the bustle.

"Must be," Kaidan replied, shutting down their vid before standing and stretching. "He's early, too. I guess I'd better go meet him. Let me help you up," he said, offering his hand. He grinned down at her and pulled her into a hug, kissing her sensually.

She was breathless when he broke the kiss.

"Had to get that in before you're 'Commander' and I'm 'Major' for the rest day," he said huskily.

"I think we've got a few more minutes," she smiled, leaning against him.

Her hospital room door opened.

"Or not," he whispered, stepping back slowly so she didn't lose her balance.

"Commander. Major Alenko?" a nurse said from the doorway. "I apologize for interrupting but Admiral Hackett has arrived. I've been asked to let you know to meet him in the conference room on floor eighteen," he explained.

Kaidan moved toward the room's door, Kate walking behind him. "Ma'am?" the nurse added. "The admiral would like to see the major first, and then he will visit with you here shortly."

"In my room? But I'm fine to go down," she said in surprise.

"Admiral's orders ma'am," the nurse said apologetically. "We'll be bringing in a small table and chairs, but he wanted you to be comfortable."

"Right, well, that's very considerate of him. Thank you," she agreed, stepping back, making room for Kaidan to depart.

"Sir? If you're ready?" he said to Kaidan, gesturing to the hall.

Kaidan nodded and turned back to Kate. "We'll be back up soon, I'm sure," he said to her quietly before following the nurse out.

The hallway was not as chaotic as it had been a few minutes earlier, a good thing, considering it was an intensive care ward. Kaidan waved his omni-tool over the panel at the elevator door and stepped inside, selecting the lower floor required. A few moments later, he arrived at floor eighteen.

As the elevator doors slid open, Kaidan immediately spotted the admiral's staff, all dressed in their formal blues, and all clustered outside a set of double doors.

"Major Alenko, sir?" asked a young ensign, waving at him as she approached.

"That's me, Ensign," he replied. "Good morning."

"Yes, sir, good morning," she answered. "I'm Ensign Hartman. The admiral is speaking with the commander's medical team. If you could just wait here for a few minutes, sir, I'm sure they're nearly done."

"Of course," he replied.

He noticed she was watching him, seemingly wanting to say something, but was clearly hesitant to do so. "Ensign, is everything alright?" he asked.

She smiled. "Yes, sir, everything's fine. I'm sorry, it's just…it's a real honor to meet you, sir. You're a hero in my book."

"Oh, well, thank you," he answered, instantly uncomfortable with her admiration. "That's, ah, that's kind of you to say."

"I've seen all your vids, sir, and my mother was on the Citadel when Cerberus tried to seize it," she babbled. "If it hadn't been for you," she breathed, stepping closer, gazing up at him. "Well, I just can't thank you enough."

She beamed up at him with puppy eyes and for a moment, he was briefly reminded of Conrad Verner, who had ambushed Kate with his adoring words so long ago on the Citadel. It was the first of several times she'd encounter such fans, and by now, it was something she'd grown accustomed to.

He, however, had not and, he felt flustered at her praise, and took a step back.

"There's really nothing to thank me for, Ensign, I just did my duty to the Alliance and the Council," he muttered. "I'm sure you'd have done the same."

"Yes, sir, I'd like to think so, but I can't wait to tell my mom we met!" she gushed, practically bouncing.

He nodded and tried force a smile, before desperately pulling up his omni-tool and finding something to make him appear occupied. He was relieved when she finally stepped away and returned to her duties.

The conference room doors opened a few minutes later, and he nodded to the various staff he recognized and said hello to Miranda and Dr. Holder as they passed him.

Once they'd filed by, Kaidan noticed that Ensign Hartman was again smiling up at him. "Ah, Ensign, I think they might be ready for me," he said, gesturing behind her.

"Oh, gosh! Right! Excuse me, sir!" she exclaimed and hurried off. A moment later, she returned. "Admiral Hackett is ready for you, now, sir."

"Thanks."

"Oh, you're very welcome, sir! Good luck and again, thank you for everything!"

Kaidan nodded, quickly darting across the hall and entering the conference room. He waited until Hackett acknowledged him, and he offered a crisp salute, one which Hackett immediately returned.

"Major, good morning, it's good to see you," Hackett said, offering his hand.

Kaidan quickly shook it. "Good morning, sir, and it's good to see you too."

Hackett turned to the few lingering officers and medical staff in the conference room. "I'd like to speak with the major alone," he announced.

"Have a seat," Hackett gestured to the conference table and chairs once the other staff had departed.

"Thank you, sir," Kaidan replied, sitting when the admiral did.

Hackett folded his hands in his lap. "How are things coming on the Normandy? What's the status of the overhaul?"

"Lieutenant Vega has managed well in my absence, and he briefs me daily on operations. Engineer Adams reports that nearly thirty percent of the system refit needed to have her service-ready is completed."

Hackett arched an eyebrow and nodded. "That crew of hers never fails to amaze me, Major, they're well ahead of schedule if she's already at thirty percent. That's very good news indeed. The sooner a ship with the fame of the Normandycan return to service, the better for everyone's morale, Alliance and civilian both."

"I agree, sir."

The older man nodded. "Shepard's doctors seem to think she's done very well so far."

"I'd agree, sir. She's made remarkable progress," he replied. "I know she still has some work left to do, but all in all, she's doing great."

"I gathered that. Her doctor's heaped her with mountains of praise," Hackett said. "I'm glad to hear it, and I look forward to seeing her. The last time I was here, she was at death's door and I'll admit I wasn't certain she'd make it. I should have known better."

"She's a determined woman," Kaidan said. "Thank you again for sharing the updates on her condition while I was en route."

"It was the least I could do. Now," Hackett began, sitting forward, "I've heard the medical update, but what I want to know is how she's _really_ doing. How are her spirits? Is she aware of Hannah's passing?"

"Her spirits are good, sir, for the most part," Kaidan answered. "She's known about the captain for a few days. I apologize for skirting procedure, sir, but I couldn't let her wonder why her mother wasn't here."

"No, you did the right thing," Hackett sighed. "I'll still have to follow protocol, and formally notify her, but Shepard knows that."

"Yes, sir, she's prepared."

"Good. That was the primary reason I asked you to meet me down here first and the chaplain will meet us shortly; we can all go up together and get this sad business out of the way," he explained with a sigh. "I had another reason to meet with you privately. I need to ask - off the record – if you and the commander have discussed her return to duty."

Kaidan's brow furrowed. "I'm not sure I fully understand your question, sir," he replied. "Obviously, she not fit for physical duty just yet."

"No, though apparently that's only a matter of time," Hackett answered, sitting forward. "But let me be frank, Major, she did a hell of a job, saved us all again, but Shepard went through the wringer to do it and she lost a lot of good people, her mother included, along the way. I'm not so naïve to think those kind of thing can't have…lasting effects."

The admiral's unspoken query finally hit home and Kaidan frowned, disquieted by the implication. "Kate's the strongest person I've ever known. If you're asking if I think she'll heal physically, as well as mentally, then my answer, sir, is yes. No question."

"Will she want to return?"

Hackett's question surprised Kaidan. He and Kate had spoken about her return, but he knew her feelings on the subject were still undecided. He made certain his answer was vague. "She's said nothing specific, sir. Why do you ask?"

"Command of the Normandy, for starters," Admiral Hackett answered. "I'd hate to take one of you off of her, but as you outrank Shepard now, Major, I don't see how I could avoid doing so."

Kaidan felt his stomach drop. "Sir, Shepard's the commander of the Normandy."

"Yet you outrank her within the Alliance, and now you're a Spectre. It's necessary for you to have a command of your own, and your position makes it reasonable to consider you for a high-profile one like the Normandy," Hackett replied. "I know you and Shepard made it work over the last year, but the war is over, and the crew will need a clear-cut chain of command going forward. You're both too high ranking to even consider sharing a post."

"I won't take the Normandy from her, sir; I'll resign my commission first."

Hackett frowned. "I thought that's what you'd say, Major. Let's leave the matter until it's relevant and then we'll see where we're at. Now, is Shepard ready to be debriefed?"

"She is," Kaidan answered stiffly, his nerves jarred by their discussion. "In fact, her expectation of today's meeting is that she will do so."

Hackett nodded. "Good." The admiral stood and Kaidan followed suit. "Then let's get to it, Major, I'm very interested to learn what went on up there, and exactly how it is that she, and David, managed to pull our fat out of the fire."

**xXx**

Garrus leaned over the console of the main gun, checking Donnelly's adjustments for the third time that morning. The engineering team had designed a nest of sensor nodes to replace EDI's neuro-network, and accuracy was critical.

"Damn," he muttered, running his scans again, and realizing that the targeting schematics were all wrong. He tapped at his omni-tool and growled as he understood the root of the problem. "Damn!"

The doors to the battery area slid open. "I'm back here!" Garrus called out, alerting whomever had just entered his work station of his location.

"Hello, Garrus," replied a voice he recognized as Specialist Traynor's.

"Traynor, grab a data pad and jot this down for me, will you?" he yelled to the front of the room.

"Go!"

"Node clusters eleven and twenty-one will need capacity adjustments, an increase of at least half," he announced. "There's a point five one discrepancy in targeting and that's just not going to work."

"Got it!" Traynor replied.

"Thanks!" Garrus called before shutting down the console and replacing the composite encasement that protected the fragile nodes. The Turian walked to the front of the room and smiled at the specialist. "Thanks," he said as she passed him the pad. "Is there something I can help you with? You don't usually come down here."

"No, just thought I'd say hello," she replied, and then shook her head. "Well, maybe not just a 'hello'. I wanted to ask you something, but it's a bit personal. I'll understand if you don't wish to answer."

"Just how 'personal' is personal?"

"Uh, well," the specialist shifted her weight, thinking. "It's about you and Tali, actually."

"That _is_ personal," the Turian agreed. "But I suppose as long as you don't ask which of us likes to be on top, I'm game. Shoot."

She laughed quietly. "Alright. How did you two…get together?"

"I'm going to assume you mean relationship-wise, and not, you know, the logistics of her suit…"

"Yes! I mean, no, not her suit…" she said quickly, and pausing as she pulled a face. "Wait. How is _that_ not too personal a question?"

The Turian chuckled. "It is. I was just testing you."

Traynor shook her head and grinned. "Can I ask my _actual_ question now?"

"Go for it."

"What I was _actually_ trying to ask you, was, how did things get started? Did you ask her out? Did she ask you? How did it start?"

"Ah," he said thoughtfully, his mandibles flexing. "Well, Tali and I have been friends for a few years; we met when Shepard was chasing down Saren. Of course, she seemed awfully young back then, she hadn't been away from the Fleet for very long."

"Then how did you know you wanted things to change between you?"

"She's not so naive anymore, she's seen her fair share of crap, and a lot of that crap we've taken on side-by-side," he replied honestly. "She's a capable woman, smart, has a big heart and for some insane reason, she thinks I'm _handsome_. I'm not stupid enough to miss a chance with someone like that."

"So you asked her out?"

He chuckled. "No, actually, she grabbed me and kissed me, because apparently, I'd been 'missing her signals'," he confessed and then looked thoughtful. "Alright, I suppose that means I _was_ stupid enough to miss my chance, but luckily, she straightened me out."

Traynor nodded. "Okay, thanks. Thanks a lot," she said with a small nod before she turned to leave.

"Ah, Traynor," Garrus said, stopping her departure. "Is there a particular reason you're asking me these questions?"

The young officer blushed and shrugged.

"Let me guess, it's because of a certain blue scientist?"

"No! Of course not! I mean…" she sighed, sagging against the console and crossing her arms. "Bollocks, how did you know?"

"Call it intuition," he replied. "Besides, I can see it."

"You can?"

"Sure, you're both scientists, you both appreciate the same… 'scientisty' things," he answered. "I've never seen two people get more excited about cracking an algorithm or mapping genetic coding than you two. Seems like a good match to me."

"Me too," she agreed with a smile. "The trouble is, I don't think Liara even knows I'm alive, at least, not in _that_ sense."

He shrugged. "Then let her know you are."

"I can hardly walk into her office and blurt it out."

"Why not? What have you got to lose?" he asked, pausing to allow her to answer, but she simply stared at him. "Listen, Traynor, until six weeks ago, none of us knew if we'd live 'til tomorrow, and we flew by the seat of our pants. We've been chased by Reapers, survived negotiating a Turian and Krogan peace treaty, got the Quarians and the Geth to play nice, and were the flagship when we took back Earth."

"So?"

"So, after all that we've faced, tell me, what's so scary about asking out a girl?"

Her eyebrow arched and stood away from the console. "That, Garrus, is a _very_ good point."

"Then my work here is done. Now, I've got some more analysis to do, so unless you feel like climbing into the targeting chamber…"

"Right, I was just leaving," she said with a quick smile and stepped to the door. "Garrus?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks," she said, smiling sincerely.

"Anytime, kid."

**xXx**

Kaidan and Admiral Hackett stepped off the elevator and onto the intensive care floor and walked to Kate's room. The hospital's chaplain, a junior lieutenant, was waiting for them outside of her room.

"Sir," the lieutenant said, popping into formation and offering a salute.

"At ease," Hackett said quietly, returning the salute. He gestured to Kaidan. "Lieutenant, this is Major Alenko, he'll be serving as Shepard's personal support during the notification today. Thank you for meeting us here. Do you have the paperwork?"

The lieutenant nodded. "Yes, sir. I've got Hannah Shepard's religious preference as non-denominational Christian." The young chaplain turned to Kaidan. "Major, do you know what Commander Shepard's religious stand is?"

Kaidan shrugged. "I'd guess non-denominational Christian is a fair enough description, I know she grew up that way, though she's never said too much else about it."

"Thank you," the lieutenant replied. He held a data pad out to Admiral Hackett. "Here's the statement, sir."

Hackett glanced at the pad. "The commander is already aware of her mother's death, so let's keep this simple. Understood?"

Both men nodded and the chaplain opened the door to Kate's room.

Kaidan stepped inside and immediately noticed that a small table and trio of chairs had been arranged by the exterior window of the room. Coffee and a water pitcher had been delivered as well. Kate, he saw, was standing at attention at the foot of her bed.

Admiral Hackett was the first to speak. "Commander, at ease. I'm pleased to see you up and about."

Kate grinned, offering her hand, which the admiral shook. "Sir, thank you. I apologize for not saluting," she said, gesturing with her elbow, which was still in its sling.

"No apology necessary, Shepard, it's damned good to see you," Hackett replied.

"You as well, sir."

The admiral sobered. "Commander, this is Lieutenant Cole, a chaplain with the religious office. The major advises me you're already aware of Hannah's loss, but I'm sorry to say regulations require that we'll still need to do this."

Kate's smile slipped and she cleared her throat. "Of course, I understand, sir." She glanced at Kaidan before then speaking to the lieutenant. "A pleasure to meet you."

"And you, ma'am. I'm sorry it's under these circumstances."

Admiral Hackett straightened his posture and held his hand out to the chaplain, who placed a data pad in it. "Commander Katherine Shepard, as the commanding officer of Captain Hannah Shepard, of the SSV Orizaba, I regretfully inform you that she was killed in action on March 21, 2187, in orbit over Luna. You have our deepest sympathies and gratitude; her heroic sacrifice will be honored by the Alliance and by all of humanity."

Hackett paused, lowering the data pad and looking at Kate. "On a personal note, Shepard, as you know, your mother was my friend for nearly thirty years. I want you to know how proud she was of your service to the Alliance and to the galaxy. She remarked to me on more than one occasion that she had great expectations for your happiness and success. I hope that will give you some small comfort."

Kate nodded. "Thank you, sir," she whispered. Hackett stepped forward and handed her the data pad.

"Commander, please accept my heartfelt condolences," Lieutenant Cole said. "I understand that your mother considered herself a Christian. Would you like me to say a prayer for her?"

Kate blinked several time before nodding. "Yes, she'd have liked that. Thank you."

"Of course, I shall do so when I return to the chapel. Would you like me to stay with you?" the young man inquired.

Kate shook her head. "Ah, no, but thank you for offering."

The chaplain looked at Admiral Hackett, who quietly dismissed him. "Thank you, Lieutenant Cole. That will be all."

Hackett turned to Kate. "Commander, would you like a few minutes of privacy before we begin your debrief?"

Kaidan came to stand next to Kate, who smiled weakly up at him. "No, sir," she said. "I'm ready."

Hackett studied Kate for a moment. "Shepard, you don't have to be tough on my account. I know how close you and Hannah were."

Kate blinked rapidly but again shook her head. "No sir, Kaidan's helped me through the worst, as usual. I'm okay, sir, really."

The admiral nodded. "Alright, if you're certain. Let's have a seat, Commander, and then I'd like you to tell me everything."

**xXx**

"Dr. T'Soni, Specialist Traynor is at the door," Glyph announced.

Liara looked up from her wall of screens and blinked. "Oh, thank you Glyph," she muttered as her office door's chime sounded. "Come in!" she called.

The doors opened and Specialist Traynor walked into the room. "Hi, Liara," she said with a smile. "I was off duty and thought I'd pop in," she explained. "I hope you don't mind."

"No, not at all," Liara replied. "I've not been away from my network in several hours, the distraction is welcomed."

"It seems longer than that," Traynor observed. "I haven't seen you in the last three days."

"Ah, yes, well, I have been very busy," Liara explained. "My network has begun to recover and I found I had a lot of catching up to do. I did attend last night's poker game, though you weren't there."

"I covered the deck for James," Traynor replied. "He really needed a break. I'm glad to hear you've been out, then. You said your network is better?"

Liara nodded. "Yes. I still have limited agents, but what information they are gathering is at least current now," she said with a sigh.

"Does that mean you've received some news from Thessia?"

"Some, yes," Liara replied. "Things there aren't as bad as they are here in Sol, of course, and there are already efforts underway to assess how to repair the local relay."

"That's good news," Traynor said. "I'm hearing that the Citadel may soon be towed out of Sol. I don't know what's being done about our own relay here, though."

"I understand that the 607th Engineering Corp has been assigned to begin work."

"Oh, well, there you have it then, you already knew," Traynor replied, smiling awkwardly. "So, uh, well, um, Liara, I was wondering something…" she began but her words trailed off.

"Yes?"

"I, you see, James has offered me tomorrow afternoon off," Traynor resumed slowly. "And I thought that, perhaps, if you're free that is, that we could check out the station together? I understand there's a small atrium and I remembered the commander mentioning you enjoyed spending time in such places."

"I do." Liara smiled. "That's kind of you to recall."

Traynor nodded. "Well, I've got my chess board as well. If you feel up to a game, we relax, take in the area and maybe could play a game there? And if so, then perhaps you'd be willing to let me buy you dinner after?"

"Dinner?"

"Yes," Traynor replied, biting her lip to keep from losing her nerve. "I usually have dinner when I'm on a…a date."

Liara's eyebrows shot up. "A date?"

Traynor's mouth worked, embarrassment tinting her cheeks. Liara's reaction wasn't what she'd been hoping for and the last of her courage began to slip. "Yes, a date. I'm asking you out," she stammered. "Never mind, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ambush you."

"Wait!" Liara called, stopping Traynor as she reached for the door. "Forgive me, Specialist. I didn't mean to imply that I felt 'ambushed'," she explained. "Surprised, maybe, but _not_ ambushed."

Traynor nodded, glancing over her shoulder. "But…"

"No 'buts', I just didn't realize you were considering…" Liara replied. "Well, you see, it's been a long time since _I've_ considered engaging in…romantic activities. I fear I'm out of practice, not that I was ever truly 'in' practice to begin with."

"Alright, then, I understand, so please, forget I said anything."

"I would like to join you."

Traynor turned around, arching an eyebrow. "You would?"

"I would," Liara said.

Traynor smiled widely. "Well, then…I guess it's a date?"

Liara nodded. "Yes, it is. I look forward to it."

"Great! So, tomorrow, say around three? Would that work?"

The Asari checked her console. "Make it four and I'll be free for the rest of the afternoon. Alright?"

"Perfect! Four o'clock it is!" Traynor confirmed happily. They stared at one another for a slightly awkward moment and Traynor forced a smile. "Okay then, so, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Until then," Liara agreed. "I shall see you at four, Specialist."

Traynor paused, her hand hovering over the door lock. "Four, right, see you then. Oh, and Liara?"

"Yes?"

"Call me Samantha."

**xXx**

Hackett stood from the small table that had been set up in Shepard's hospital room. He, Shepard, and Major Alenko had been working for the last several hours on her debrief.

"Shepard," Hackett said as he pushed his seat back into its place. "I have just a few questions left, but they're my questions, and not on the record."

"Okay, sir, of course," she replied.

"Do you believe the Illusive Man was indoctrinated during the entire last year?"

Shepard shook her head. "I don't know, part of me thinks so, yes, because when I knew him, he wanted to do what he saw as the right thing. Now, it was rare that he and I agreed on what the 'right' thing actually was, but he wasn't immovable or unreasonable."

"And that changed," Hackett prompted.

Kate nodded. "I thought at first that maybe he'd bought into his own propaganda. But then we took out Cerberus's base, we saw how much they'd salvaged of the human Reaper that had been under construction in the Collector base. Sir, it was an _extraordinary_ amount, given I did my best to destroy the place."

"Do you think they got to him through their tech being salvaged?" Kaidan asked.

"Yes," she replied. "We're all vulnerable to it, but I think that his need to control things grew into something so great that it made him especially susceptible. The Reapers simply manipulated it to their benefit."

Hackett nodded. "I can see that. Shepard, help me with something else. Why did you do it?"

She glanced down at her hands. "Why did I choose to destroy the Reapers, rather than, say, merge with or control them?" she asked, without looking up.

"Yes."

She sighed and moved her eyes to meet Kaidan's, who was seated across from her. She smiled softly. "I had a few good reasons," she said quietly, before she turned to Hackett. "But the primary one was I felt it was the only outcome I could trust."

"Explain."

"Even if the Catalyst was being truthful, I had no way of understanding, at least in the long term, the consequences of the other choices. What I knew with complete certainty was that their destruction would allow the rest of you to go on, safe. I couldn't fully predict what would happen if I chose anything else, and that was too big a risk to take."

"Trusting the Catalyst, an A.I. or whatever it was, would have been a hell of a gamble, Shepard, I'll give you that," Hackett replied.

"Wait, you said, 'the rest of you'," Kaidan interjected. "Did you know…are you saying you _knew_ you could die?"

"Yes," she said, her tone steady. "I was standing in the heart of Reaper command. I didn't expect to survive, whatever my choice, so I chose the one with the most secure outcome for all of you."

"So you threw your _life_ at it?" Kaidan demanded, a mixture of horror and anger on his face.

"She picked the most predictable outcome," Hackett commented. Kaidan shook his head, his lips in a tight line, but he said nothing else.

"Shepard," Hackett continued. "Did you consider that the other choices may have been legitimate solutions, as it implied?"

"I did, of course I did," she replied. "But then something occurred to me, sir, and once it did I couldn't ignore it."

"And what was that?" Hackett asked.

"EDI," she said quietly. "I'd seen her evolve from the beginning, I'd counseled her, helped her figure things out. She was alive, sir, as alive as you or I. And the last thing she told me was she wanted to live, that her instincts made her want to fight for her _life_."

Kate met Hackett's gaze. "So when I considered her, I knew then that the Catalyst A.I. - thousands of years older and far more sophisticated that EDI – wasn't any different. It wanted to live, to complete its purpose. That's when I decided, sir, and I treated it like the cunning and deadly enemy the Reapers had always been."

Hackett nodded. "Meaning you suspected it may have been lying about the other possible outcomes, maybe hoping you may have chosen one of those?"

"EDI lied when she felt it necessary, she was just as capable of manipulation as anyone else," Kaidan commented in a raspy voice.

"Exactly," Kate said softly, meeting Kaidan's eyes. "The A.I. _chose_ to interact with me in the form of a _human_ child, that was hardly a coincidence and it certainly wasn't without intent. I think it wanted me to feel protective, merciful, and it nearly worked."

Kaidan folded his hands on the tabletop, closing his eyes. "The damned thing gave you two options that guaranteed its survival, talking to you in the form of a _kid_," he said in a hard voice. His nostrils flared and he looked up at Hackett before he stood and began to pace.

"They hit Earth first because they saw humanity as the biggest threat to their mission, because they were afraid of us, of _Shepard!"_ he growled. "The other choices only offered one real certainty – her death – and that would have changed everything, especially if the A.I. was lying, lying to save itself."

Hackett folded his arms and looked thoughtful. "It would have killed her while retaining control of the only weapon we had."

"Strategically a very solid move on the Reapers' behalf," Kaidan said in a tight tone. "Nearly every single battleship and cruiser in every major military was present _at that moment_. The Reapers would have killed Shepard, eliminated the Alliance, as well as the bulk of the other fleets. Not to mention the ground troops. Who knows how many would have died…and nearly every able-bodied Krogan was on Earth. It would have eliminated any hope of further resistance."

"I think I understand now, Commander, why you did what you did," Hackett admitted.

"It was a difficult call, sir," Kate said. "And I believe I did what was best, but now, here, I also know that the decision I made unfolded exactly as the A.I. said it would."

"Meaning there's room for the possibility that it wasn't lying," Hackett concluded.

"Yes, sir," Kate agreed. "And if that's the case, and it _wasn't_ trying to kill me, then its warnings about a new cycle beginning were sincere. That cannot be ignored."

"I agree, and we'll need to take every step necessary to ensure that when history does clean this mess up, no one forgets why it was the Reapers came to exist in the first place, or we could be dooming future generations to repeat history," Hackett concluded.

"Yes sir," Kate answered.

"But for today, it's not our most pressing challenge. Today, we have to focus on recovering our most basic infrastructure, find our missing, and bury our dead," the admiral said, planting his hands on the table. "It's a daunting task, Commander, but one we're able to take on, thanks to you."

"To all of us, sir," Kate replied.

"One final note, tomorrow morning at zero nine thirty, we'll be hosting a press conference here to announce your survival and recovery," he said matter-of-factly. "Commander, you'll be present, but we're going to keep this short and sweet." He turned to Kaidan. "Major, I expect you to be there in dress blues to represent the Normandy, and be prepared to answer the bulk of the press's questions. Understood?"

Kaidan nodded. "Aye aye, sir."

"It's time to let the rest of the galaxy in on our good news, Commander," Hackett said, looking down at Kate. "Keep in mind we're anticipating the announcement will be met with an onslaught of attention. That being said, your medical team believes that your needs will be best met off-site."

"They're releasing her?" Kaidan asked, a look of concern on his face. "But she's still in therapy; her arm's still got pins in it."

"Dr. Holder feels the commander is ready for discharge," the admiral explained. "Dr. Chakwas has agreed to oversee your therapy on board the Normandy."

Kate grinned widely. "Understood, sir, and thank you! That's very good news."

"Yes, it is," the admiral agreed. "Now, if there's nothing further, I have quite a report to review. I'll see you two tomorrow morning at the press conference. My exec will send you the details, Major."

Kate stood, jostling the table slightly as she did. "Actually, sir, there is one more thing."

Kaidan looked surprised and Hackett paused. "Of course, Commander. Go ahead."

"As you're likely aware, Major Alenko's parents are still missing, sir," she began.

"Shepard," Kaidan interrupted, his voice carrying a warning to drop the subject.

"Once I'm cleared from rehabilitation, it's our intention to search for them," she said quickly, not daring to look at Kaidan as she did. "Even if it means doing so on foot," she finished.

Hackett lightly tapped the edge of his data pad on the tabletop. "There's been no word, Major?"

Kaidan cleared his throat. "No sir, not yet."

"You're both needed," the admiral said slowly. "Recovery will be a Sol-wide effort and once the Relay is operational again, the scope of missions will change radically."

"Sir, we have every intention of doing what's asked of us," Kaidan said seriously, his eyes boring into Kate's. "The commander's request may be a bit premature."

"Perhaps," she replied and crossed her arms. "But we're entitled to ensure the wellbeing of our family. War time is over."

Hackett looked from the major to the commander and nodded. "You do and it is," he agreed. "Finish your therapy, Shepard and in the meantime, Major, I'll ensure that my exec is available to you to aid in your search."

"Thank you, sir," Kaidan replied.

"But sir!" Kate began to argue, but Hackett held up a hand.

"Commander, you will allow me to finish," Hackett said, and Kate blanched, nodding once.

"Yes, sir."

"Should, after you're cleared medically, there still be nothing on the radar regarding the whereabouts of the Alenkos, then I'll grant you both the time needed to investigate fully. The Normandy will be in dry dock for at least another three months, it's unreasonable to tie you both to her if you could be using the time to locate your family, Major."

Kaidan nodded. "Thank you, sir. I appreciate that. I'm hoping the situation will resolve itself."

"As do I. Now," the admiral said, glancing down at the data pad in his hand. "It's late and there's a great deal to do. I'll see you both in the morning."

"Yes, sir," both Kaidan and Kate said in unison.

"Good night, Admiral," Kate added, standing at attention as Kaidan offered a salute.

Hackett returned it and Kaidan opened the hospital room's door. The admiral's executive officer was waiting outside and sprang up, and, as Kaidan closed the door, the young man was already passing two more data pads to their leader.

He turned slowly back to face Kate. "You didn't need to do that," he said, referring to his missing parents.

"It's a priority, Kaidan, and Hackett needed to know that."

He nodded. "It is, you're right," he agreed. "But this is exactly what I was talking about, Kate. It wasn't your place to make that request, it was mine. I thought you were going to let me take the lead on this."

"I am!"

"When? Because talking to Hackett without asking me first isn't me taking the lead," he calmly pointed out. "In fact, Kate, it's the exact _opposite_ of me taking the lead."

She grimaced and then offered a smile. "Oh, you meant, the lead from the _start_? I, uh, I kinda figured you meant while we were out on the trail, you know, _literally_ taking the lead. My bad."

He stared at her before shaking his head. "Well, I didn't. I meant, the _entire_ lead, Kate, the _entire_ time. As in, I'm the boss on this."

"Roger, got it, you're the boss," she replied as she approached him. He arched an eyebrow, while she wrapped her good arm around his waist and kissed his chin. "When it comes to this."

He chuckled. "There's the qualification I was waiting for," he replied while she nuzzled his neck. He cupped her chin and kissed her as she laughed. "I figured it was coming."

"You know me so well, Major."

"I'm ready to get out of here so I can know you even _better_," he teased between kisses. "I must love you very much, Kate, because I'm working a press conference, one that promises to be a madhouse, to spring you from here."

"I'll make it up to you," she purred.

"I'm counting on it."

_**Thank you, Lisa, for all that you do! I'm very grateful for your beta-expertise! Thank you to Liso for your help with canon, characters and with handling that pesky A.I.!**_

_**A quick note: In the last game, Hannah Shepard is appointed rear admiral and is working on the Crucible. I, however, was unfortunate enough to have this informative little chat with Hackett AFTER I'd proceeded with listing her still as a captain. Rather than go back and tinker with published chapters, I'm going to accept my error and let it stand. Sorry for any confusion.**_

_**Thank you to everyone for reading and reviewing. I love hearing from each of you and I'm SO grateful to each of you for sharing your thoughts on this story. Thank you!**_


	8. A Shepard Found

**A Shepard Found**

Kate stood in front of the mirror in her hospital bathroom and ran her fingers through her chopped hair. The surgical scar across her scalp wasn't as apparent anymore, thanks to the peach-like fuzz of new hair growth, but today, she was hyper-aware of her appearance because of her part in the upcoming press conference.

She didn't look like a marine; she looked like someone who'd barely escaped a lunatic with clippers.

"Ugh," she moaned, forcefully tucking what she could behind her ears. "Can bring me back from the dead but can't fix my jacked-up hair," she muttered.

"I most certainly could," protested a familiar voice from behind her. Miranda's face appeared in the reflection, next to Kate's, as she came to stand behind her. "I just thought your spinal cord was more of a priority. But don't worry, Dr. Chakwas has the proper stimulants on the Normandy, you'll have it all back to normal in a few more weeks."

Kate turned around to face her friend and Miranda smiled softly. "Here, tell you what, we'll just wet it a bit and it'll sit behind your ear rather nicely," she said, taking the brush from Kate's hand and then gently doing just that. "See? Much better," she added as Kate looked into the mirror and nodded.

"You're right, thanks," Kate replied with a nod and then noticed something off about her friend's mood. "Everything alright?"

She saw surprise in Miranda's eyes, something she quickly hid. "Of course. You should finish getting ready, I wouldn't want you to be late."

They left the bathroom and Miranda lingered as Kate opened a bag at the foot of her bed.

"Kaidan asked Lieutenant Cortez to bring this down with him so I could wear it today," Kate said as she held out the black N7 hoodie she was rarely seen without. "Apparently, Cortez is ferrying Hackett and staff around today."

Miranda nodded and then gestured toward the jacket. "That seems a very appropriate choice," she commented. "Want some help getting it over your arm?"

"That would be great."

Kate slipped her bad arm into the first sleeve and together, she and Miranda worked the sweatshirt around Kate's back and slipped her good arm into other sleeve, making sure the N7 badge displayed proudly.

"So, are you looking forward to this morning?" Kate asked, re-entering the bathroom and checking her appearance. "I wonder if there will be any real turnout. Hackett's release was rather…vague," she said, referring to the notice to the general media outlets that a press conference would be held today.

"Regardless, there's been loads of media arriving; I understand the lobby staff is quite busy, directing everyone," Miranda replied. "Besides, vague or not, there've been rumors since the start that you'd lived, you know. Actually, those rumors were what brought me here in the first place. And now the commander of the Alliance Navy will be making an unspecified announcement from a somewhat removed medical facility? I think any press outlet that can send someone, will."

"There're rumors? Kaidan didn't say anything."

Miranda shrugged. "Many, actually, but while they vary, they do all indicate that you survived. I don't believe the announcement will be met with any great shock, as most people have likely heard at least one story, but I do think the public will be very excited."

"Well, I guess we'll find out soon enough, won't we?" Kate replied with a smile. "And either way, I'm grateful that you came here, Miranda. I'd still be a mess if you'd not shown up. That's twice you've saved my butt."

The brunette studied her fingers. "The first time, well, that was hardly motivated by the most _selfless_ of plans, was it?" she said quietly. She met Kate's eyes. "This time, Shepard, I helped a friend, a nasty habit you've taught me, I'm afraid. And after everything you've done for me and Oriana, I'd say we're even, wouldn't you? No need for thanks."

A knock on the outside door drew the women's attention, and Kate opened it, allowing a young ensign to entered the room.

"Commander Shepard? Ms. Lawson? Good morning, I'm Ensign Hartman, one of Admiral Hackett's staff. I'm here to escort you down to the press room, Commander."

Kate nodded. "Good morning and thank you," she said, following the ensign into the hallway, Miranda walking with her.

The three reached an elevator and the ensign tapped the button.

"This is where I'll say good-bye then," Miranda said, stepping back.

Kate turned. "Wait, what? You're not coming down? Why not?"

"The media relations office has asked that Ms. Lawson's contributions to your recovery be omitted for now, due to the intense distrust of Cerberus that still exists amongst the general population," the young ensign answered sweetly.

"_What_?" Kate demanded. "That's bullshit!"

The ensign's smile faltered. "I think, ma'am, that…"

"Ensign, this conversation is a private one between Ms. Lawson and me," Kate said stiffly. "Wait here for my return," she ordered, meeting Miranda's eyes and gesturing to an empty hospital room just across the hall.

"Um, yes, ma'am," sputtered the ensign. "But we're going to be late."

"Probably so," Kate replied but limped, cane in hand, into the room anyway, Miranda following her. Kate shut the door and turned on the lights.

"Shepard, don't get too angry on my behalf - I agree with their decision," Miranda said once they were alone.

Kate gaped. "Miranda, you're the only reason I'm _standing_ here to get angry about this in the first place! You can't be '_omitted'_, that's just complete…crap! And the connection to Cerberus was severed nearly two years ago, they _can't_ seriously think that anyone…"

"They _are_, Shepard, and they're _right_," Miranda argued calmly. "I told you earlier about the rumors, what I didn't tell you is that some have you still tied heavily to Cerberus. There's a popular one that you're a clone, that you were never recovered after the SR1 went down to begin with."

"That one's been around since I set foot back onto the Citadel three years ago," Kate countered. "I'm a 'clone', made by Cerberus and I'm their puppet, blah, blah, blah. Who gives a shit? It wasn't true then and it's not true now. There's no reason for the Alliance to do this to you."

"You've not been out there yet," Miranda replied. "It's bad, Shepard. The war's over, yes, but there's still so much destruction, so many families ripped apart, supplies are nearly non-existent. The losses are staggering, and while people like _us_ were always aware of the numbers, the average person is still coming to terms with all of this. People need hope right now, they need to believe that good things can and _will_ happen again."

"Well of course they do, but that's not…"

"You, alive, that's a bloody miracle in most people's books and you've no idea the shot in the arm this will be. We shouldn't risk the positive your return will do by possibly allowing it to be maligned by my former relationship with Cerberus," Miranda finished quickly. "And it _could_ be, Shepard, that's just a hard truth."

Kate sighed and put her hand on her hip. "It's not right, Miranda, it's not fair to you, to everything you've done since you left them."

"Maybe not, but I'm not worried about me," Miranda answered. "I want to do what's right here, what will do the most good. My presence will only give fuel to the rumors that have you still firmly a Cerberus operative and that _cannot_ be allowed to happen."

Kate shook her head.

"You know it's for the best," Miranda said softly.

"What will you do, then? I'm leaving for home after this, you know that," Kate replied. "Will you stay here? What about Oriana? What does she say?"

Miranda nodded. "Oriana and I have been invited to Vancouver by Admiral Hackett," she explained. "There are plans for setting up several R&D groups, think tanks, you know. Our goals are to come up with ways to expedite the recovery efforts."

"Back into a lab?"

"It's something Oriana and I can both contribute to," Miranda answered. "And we can make a difference, and after everything my father did, that matters more than ever."

"So you're good? This is all just…peachy?"

"I don't think that I'd say 'peachy'," she commented with a shrug. "But it's what's right. I think Oriana and I will do well there and both of us are looking forward to trying to make a home some place. She needs that and I've never had it. I want this."

"Okay, Miranda, if you're sure," Kate replied, sighing again. "So is it good-bye now or will I see you after?"

"Now, we're leaving before the conference finishes," she answered. "While the press is still focused on something altogether more…worthy of their time."

Kate stepped close and slung her arm around Miranda's neck, pulling her into a tight hug. "Thank you," she whispered sincerely into her friend's ear. "You've done so much and I will always be grateful. You didn't just give bring me back; you gave me a second chance."

Miranda blinked back her tears and squeezed Shepard. "So did you, Shepard," she confessed. "So did you."

**xXx**

"Come on everyone! Move toward the front and squeeze in wherever you can! Let's go, let's go! We're on the clock here!" called out James as the entire crew of the Normandy flowed into the hangar bay of the ship.

There were a few seats scattered, but with all hands present, there was only room to stand, and so most did. James pointed to the back of the room.

"Specialist Traynor, is this everyone?"

Traynor, who stood by the elevator, nodded. "All hands accounted for, Lieutenant Vega!"

"Great! Well, let's get to it, then," the bulky acting C.O. answered. "Alright, you guys, we've got you all here because the Alliance is about to hold a very important news conference. It's important to all of us, sure, because we're marines but this one is a little different, and I wanted to give everyone here the news at the same time."

He paced in front of the crew, no longer certain how to say what he needed to say.

"Lieutenant Vega?" called out Engineer Donnelly in his thick brogue. "Does this maybe have something tae do with Diana Allers skippin' out o' here with the shuttle earlier today?"

James paused and clasped his hands behind his back. "Actually, Donnelly, it does," he replied and then again paused, appearing to choose his words with care. He cleared his throat.

"Okay. Myself and senior command staff, as well as a few necessary others of the crew, were advised immediately after we left to return to Sol that Commander Shepard was found alive on the Citadel…" he was forced to pause as the crew reacted, cheers, laughter and clapping creating a happy din.

James grinned and allowed the crew to continue their revelry for a few minutes before he drew their attention again. "Let me say, that first, the decision to keep this quiet was made by folks way higher up the food chain than any of us here, including the major. There were worries that she may not make it, so, I hope you guys will understand why this good news wasn't shared as soon as we learned it."

"Lieutenant?" called out a staff sergeant. "Since you're telling us now, does that mean the commander is okay?"

James nodded, his smile still in place. "She is. She was pretty banged up when they found her, and the truth is, she nearly died. But she's made big progress since then, and is actually ready for discharge. She's still got some work to do, stuff like, you know, physical therapy - which she'll be doing _here_, starting _today_."

Again the reaction of his fellow crewmates was huge and the sense of excitement and pride was palpable. He caught Traynor's eye and nodded, watching as she walked to Steve's terminal and opened the computer there.

"In a few minutes, Admiral Hackett will be announcing the commander's survival to the rest of the galaxy," James called out loudly. "_If_ you guys are interested, I thought we should watch it together. What do you say?"

"Hoo-rah!" was the most pronounced response, followed by more cheers. Traynor queued up the projection system she and Cortez had rigged before he'd left for Earth earlier that day and behind James an image was projected onto the bulkhead, the Alliance News Network now broadcasting, the audio silenced.

"Once it gets started, I expect you guys to keep it quiet," James ordered. "We'll have plenty of time to celebrate the commander's return when she gets here," he explained, working his way to the back of the hangar where Traynor was waiting as he spoke. "We'll keep it muted until things start, and until then, I'm back here if anyone has any questions."

He now stood next to Traynor. "How was that?" he whispered out of the side of his mouth.

"Brilliant, James, you did very well," she said sincerely. "Shall I call down the others?"

"Yeah, now that the rest of the crew knows, we should watch it together," he agreed.

"James, why didn't you want them here when you announced this?" she asked quietly. "I mean, they're as good as crewmates, so why keep them away?"

James stepped close and lowered his voice. "I didn't, Liara and Garrus just said they thought it best that I handled this one my own, you know? Garrus told me, for now, it was my crew and my job to tell them."

Traynor smiled. "Garrus, I'm discovering, is bloody brilliant."

"I don't know about that, but he's got a hell of a lot of war stories and the commander trusts him," he replied. "Which, in my book, makes up for all the shit-talkin' he does."

Traynor's eyes darted to the large projection over his shoulder. "Quick! Go get them, it's starting! I'll get the audio up!"

James hurried to the elevator and Traynor brought the audio feed online, the crew quickly growing quiet as they noticed. James, Liara, and Garrus stepped off the elevator just a few moments later, just as a pretty newscaster was explaining to viewers in a English accent the reason for the programming break-in.

Shepard's friends crowded together at Steve's station as Traynor dimmed the hangar's lights and Admiral Hackett's projection stepped up to the podium.

"Where's Joker?" Traynor asked.

"He's going to watch it from his station, he didn't think he could get here in time," Garrus replied softly. "How'd it go down here?"

"He did great, Garrus," she replied, referring to James. "And good for you for making him do it on his own."

"He's got real leadership in him, he just doesn't believe it yet," the Turian said in a low voice. "He will soon enough."

Two perfectly groomed newscasters were now smiling down at them all and Traynor and Garrus stopped talking.

"_Good morning! If you're just joining us, we're still waiting for this event to get started. It's worth pointing out that there's still a great deal of speculation as to why this press conference has been called, particularly in this location and by the illustrious personage hosting it. Now, typically, a topic is at least provided to the media, but not this time,"_ said the female anchor, her English accent booming through the hangar.

"You just wait, sister!" hollered a crewmember and the crowd cheered briefly.

"_It's widely hoped that something long rumored may finally be addressed today, though I won't speculate at the moment," _she continued, the image now split with that of the young junior staffer who was obviously, but mutely, introducing Admiral Hackett to the press present at the event.

"_Here you see a staff member announcing Admiral Hackett, commander of the Alliance forces. I've just spotted Major Kaidan Alenko of the Normandy," _chimed in her co-anchor, a dark-haired man.

"_That's a bit telling, isn't it?"_ the woman replied. _"Dare we hope that rumors regarding the missing commander of that famous ship be addressed?"_

"_We'll pause while the admiral speaks,"_ stated her co-anchor, and the split screen changed again to a widened image showing the whole of the conference room.

To the admiral's immediate left and right were several medical staff, and about halfway down sat Major Alenko in full dress blues and looking very serious. The seat to his left was vacant.

"_Good morning_," Hackett began. "_Thank you all for coming. I'm going to take a moment and introduce the people here with me. To my right, we have Dr. Karen Holder, chief medical officer of this facility, and Major Kaidan Alenko, Alliance military, Spectre and acting commanding officer of the SSV Normandy_."

A few in the crowd cheered as Alenko's name was called out but they quickly stopped as the admiral continued.

"_To my left is Dr. Yvette Takeda, micro-surgeon and burn specialist; Dr. Jessica Faulkner, orthopedic surgeon, and Dr. Bradley Orlando, a neurosurgeon who specializes in traumatic brain injuries_."

Hackett paused and looked into the crowd of reporters.

"_On March 21, after the discharge of the Crucible and the exodus of the majority of the united fleet, multiple specialized teams of the Alliance navy followed pre-arranged orders and landed on the Citadel in an effort to secure that vital location_," Hackett explained. "_It was during this effort that Commander Katherine Shepard of the SSV Normandy was found alive but in critical condition_."

The personnel of said ship cheered and whistled while the members of the media attending the conference reacted as well. "_Admiral_!" cried several of the reporters, but Hackett acknowledged no one. Instead, as the flashes on the cameras surrounding him intensified, he continued with his statement.

"_Over the last seven weeks, Commander Shepard has been receiving intensive and revolutionary treatment here at Reykjavik Station. Having suffered extensive third-degree burns, multiple broken bones, internal injuries as well as a life-threatening brain injury, the commander has made a near miraculous recovery, one which has been so successful that we're now able to share this good news with humanity as well as the rest of the galaxy_."

"_Admiral! Where is she_?" interrupted a reporter. "_Is she here_?"

Again, Hackett didn't reply directly but resumed his announcement.

"_These superb doctors with us today make up the bulk of the talented medical team which has so skillfully overseen the commander's complex needs and her recovery. We hope you will join the Alliance in thanking these remarkable individuals for their contributions_."

There were several loud cheers and several of the crew clapped, the reporters at the conference doing to do the same.

Hackett nodded. "_That said, ladies and gentlemen of the press: please join me in welcoming Commander Shepard."_

The door behind the table and podium opened and a smiling Shepard slowly stepped through, a cane in her hand, her other arm in a sling and half of her hair missing.

The crew of the Normandy went wild.

"_This is absolutely fantastic! Here she is, Commander Shepard, clearly a bit worse for the wear but making her way to the podium nonetheless," _commented the female anchor, her excitement obvious in her tone. _"In case you're just joining us, you're witnessing a historic event, as the Alliance commander, Admiral Hackett, has just made a stunning announcement!"_

"_Yes, the rumors of her survival are now confirmed as fact! Commander Shepard is alive and as we're just getting this first glimpse of her, it's obvious that the heroic commander is recovering from some very serious injuries," _added her co-anchor. "_I hope that we'll have a chance to learn just what it is that the commander experienced up there that day."_

"_Let's find out," _she replied. _"Here we go, Commander Shepard has reached the podium."_

Hackett shook Shepard's hand before turning back to the press. "_The commander will be answering a very limited number of questions. Afterwards, I and all personnel present will be happy to answer any further queries,"_ he explained. He stepped back. "_Commander."_

Shepard smiled up at her superior and then at those present, before turning her eyes to meet cameras. "_Thank you, sir._ _Good morning_," she began. "_It's very good to finally be standing here; it's been a long time coming."_

"Damn right!" called out a petty officer, and several others hooted, but they quickly settled, waiting in silence for their commander to speak.

Shepard, her image enlarged against the bulkhead, glanced to her left and right before she continued.

"_Let me start by answering the two most obvious questions: first, no, I'm not a clone," _she chuckled, glancing at Dr. Holder who returned her gaze. "_Or_ a_t least, that's what they tell me,"_ she added cheekily, to which nearly everyone at the table and in the room laughed. "_Second_, _no, I don't like the new haircut; I think it's a little uneven, don't you?"_

Traynor laughed and elbowed James. "She seems fine to me," she whispered.

James nodded. "Yeah," he agreed and then gestured toward the bulk of the crew, most of whom were smiling as they watched the conference. "This is real good. They needed this."

Liara leaned close and spoke softly. "They need _her_," she said. "I have a feeling it will be quite the homecoming."

Their attention returned to their friend.

"_I'd like to offer my thanks to the phenomenal people at this facility. The individuals here before you, and…those who are not, nursed me and oversaw my recovery; I am in their debt."_ She again looked at the cameras. "_I'm eager to return to my ship and her crew; easily the best and most skilled ensemble of men and women that I've ever had the honor to serve with. I thank them for their unwavering bravery and steadfast faith in the alliances we built, alliances which saved us all from a horrible fate. Job well done!"_

The doctors and reporters offered up a few obligatory claps but on board the Normandy, the whistles, yells and shouts of support were near deafening. Kate continued speaking and her words were unheard by her crew, most of whom were shaking hands, slapping each other on the back, or still clapping. After a few moments of missing what their commander was saying, James and Garrus yelled for quiet.

"…_and lastly, I'd like to thank Major Alenko for guiding the Normandy back to Sol safely. Thank you, Major."_

She smiled at Kaidan as he met her eyes, the stone-face mask he never let slip in public unwavering. He nodded once and Kate looked again at the reporters before her.

"_And now I'm ready for questions. Who'd like to start?"_ she asked the crowd and nearly every reporter leapt to their feet, calling her name and many waving their raised hands wildly.

Kate looked into the first row and pointed. _"Miss Allers?"_

The familiar brunette hostess of Battle Space smiled and waited while the others around her grew quiet. _"Commander, first, I'm sure I speak for everyone here when I say how happy we are to see you,"_ she said with sincerity.

"_Thank you."_

Diana's tone changed and she was now all business. _"There's been a great deal of speculation about what happened within the Crucible, how it truly worked. Can you shed any light at all for us on what occurred?"_

Kate shook her head. _"Not yet. I've just begun my debriefing process with my command, so at this time, I can't explain anything too specific, I'm sorry."_

"_But whatever you did, is it permanent? Are the Reapers truly gone?"_ Diana rushed out, and several of her peers shouted in protest, but Diana tried to ask more questions.

A dark-haired man standing to the side of the room spoke over the ruckus, eyeing the Battle Space reporter as he spoke in a chastising tone. "_One question per reporter, please, ma'am! Commander, kindly select another person."_

Kate nodded and pointed to a Turian. "_Sir?"_

"_I'll change my question to Diana's,_" the man said. _"Is whatever went on up there really the end of this nightmare?"_

"_Yes. That much I can say. It's done,"_ Kate replied with a smile. _"It's over."_

**xXx**

The press conference lasted another twenty minutes, though Kate only fielded questions for the next two or so, before she was seated next to Kaidan, who'd briefly squeezed her hand under the table as he stood up to take her place at the podium.

A few hours later, dressed down in his BDUs and reclined in a chair in Kate's room, he frowned as he watched video of the small but intimate caress playing on a news update. He now saw that the overhang at the front of the table hadn't been low enough to hide his touching Kate; which meant it was a featured part of the less serious coverage of today's event.

He tapped the screen on his omni-tool and closed it with a frustrated sigh. Why couldn't he offer a little support to the woman he loved without it becoming fodder for the fluff pieces? Sometimes he felt like they lived under a microscope.

"Hey, good looking!" Kate announced and he looked up from his seat in her room as she entered. "Guess who's all discharged and released to Dr. Chakwas's care on the SSV Normandy?" she asked with a very happy smile. She paused and pulled a data pad from her BDU pocket. "Wanna check my papers, Major?"

He chuckled and stood, taking the pad from her hand, glancing at the data contained in it. "Well, looks to be in order to me," he said, trying to match her mood, but his tone betrayed him. He cleared his throat. "Where's your cane?"

She studied him, her smile not as bright. "You okay?" she asked.

"Yeah. You bet," he replied quickly and tossed the data pad onto her bed. "Where's your cane?"

"In the trash!" she answered. "Dr. Holder isn't too happy about it, but I'm fine and I'm _not_ walking onto the Normandy with that thing."

Kaidan arched an eyebrow. "So, Dr. Holder finally met _Commander_ Shepard, huh?"

"Well, I waited until the discharge was finished," she admitted with a shrug. "But it's possible I may have taken a _little_ of the shine off of her opinion of me."

He shook his head. "Need help putting your things together? Can I get anything?"

"Uh, hmmm," she said, looking thoughtful before turning and limping into the bathroom. She soon returned with her toothbrush and tucked it into the front pocket of his shirt. "Thanks for carrying it," she teased, nudging him gently when he only offered her a weak smile. "Kaidan, what's up?"

"Nothing," he said, but he knew she didn't believe him. "Honest, Kate, it's nothing, I'm just ready to get back, you know?"

She eyed him and he knew she wasn't convinced, but she said nothing else. Instead, she leaned in and kissed him. "Okay," she whispered. "From what I heard in the hallway, you may be just getting your wish ahead of schedule. Cortez is only a few minutes out. You'll need to get packed up yourself."

He patted his front pocket. "This really is all you've got?" he asked, referring to the toothbrush.

"I'm wearing the only clothes I own that are here," she explained. "I mean, I really only came in with, well, you know…some charred panties," she teased, trying to make him smile. "_Granny_ ones at that."

He laughed, and the smile on his handsome face was finally genuine. "And you wonder why they gave you a cane?" he joked and she snorted, poking him in the belly. He took her hand in his. "You're right. I came with a little more than just my underwear, so I'd better be getting my things together too."

"Can I help?"

He shook his head. "No, its fine, Kate, I don't have much," he replied. "Besides, I'd guess things will be a little crazy when we get to Mars, so you should rest while you can."

She bit her lip but nodded. "Okay then, I'll, uh, wait here for you to come back?"

"Shouldn't take more than a few minutes," he agreed. "And by then, if you heard right, Steve will be here, and he should have an idea of when we're cleared to return. I'd count on it being a fast turnaround though; Hackett and Chakwas want to keep things around you as low-key as possible until you're one hundred percent. Roaming the halls of the hospital while it's still got reporters all over the place won't accomplish that."

"So you're thinking mad dash from my room to the shuttle pad?"

"I'm thinking escorted departure in a calm and controlled fashion through a pre-cleared path."

"Got it," she replied. "But my way sounds more fun."

**xXx**

Fifteen minutes later, Kaidan's prediction proved accurate as two guards joined Dr. Holder and the civilian head of administration, as well as Staff Lieutenant Pitt, the facility's security chief, at her door. Kaidan had already returned, his duffle bag packed and slung over his shoulder.

"It's time, Major, Commander," Pitt announced, and together the group left the I.C.U. floor behind, taking a route that was almost devoid of any other personnel.

"Just through here," Pitt gestured as they stepped off their third elevator and reached the end of a dank tunnel. "The pad is out here and your shuttle is already cleared to depart. There may be some press watching, as the location is visible from certain vantage points in the facility, so just be aware. Good luck to you both."

"Thank you," Kate and Kaidan said together, and after Kate shook Dr. Holder's hand one final time, Kaidan opened one of the double doors, the loud hum of the shuttle's engine greeting their ears.

Lieutenant Cortez was standing at the exterior, the shuttle doors open and ready for embarking.

"Shepard!" cried someone from above them, and Kate paused, looking up and realizing with a start that several dozen hospital employees and personnel were waving at her from the three or four balconies and overhangs that had a view of the area.

She grinned widely and waved back briefly before continuing her progress up the ramp to the shuttle pad, Kaidan matching her pace, ready to help her if she stumbled.

They approached the Kodiak and Cortez snapped to attention and offered a crisp salute. "Major! Commander! Welcome aboard!"

Kaidan returned the salute and smiled. "At ease, Cortez. Thanks for picking us up."

Cortez nodded. "Major. Like I'd let anyone else make this run, sir," he replied with a smile, which he turned onto Kate. "Ma'am."

She stopped in front of Cortez and offered her hand. "I might not be able to return the salute just yet, Cortez, but I _can_ tell you how happy I am to see you."

Cortez shook her hand. "The feeling's mutual, Commander. It's damned fine to see you in one piece."

"Think you could give us a lift home?"

The talented lieutenant grinned from ear to ear as he nodded. "With pleasure, ma'am. Let's get you back where you belong."

_**Thank you, Lisa, for all your amazing help! Without you, the lobby would still be terribly busy chasing that puffed up N7 about!**_

_**Thank you, Michele for your help checking canon! I bow before the ME oracle!**_

_**I'm so grateful to each of you for subscribing, adding this to your favorites and for taking those extra few minutes to review. It's a huge boost to read your thoughts on this story and I appreciate the feedback. Thank you!**_


	9. Safe In My Arms

**Safe In My Arms**

**Author's Note: NSFW Content**

Kaidan offered Kate his hand as she gingerly stepped up into the shuttle. The major and lieutenant followed her, the shuttle doors closing behind them. Cortez went to the cockpit while Kaidan helped Kate into her chair and then stowed his duffle bag.

"Commander? You all tucked in? We're ready to head back to the Normandy, just say when."

Kaidan settled next to Kate, who reached for his hand. "We're in," she called out with a grin.

"Tower, this is Normandy Kodiak Alpha Zero One," Cortez said as he tapped on his console. "Confirm clearance to depart is still in place."

"Clearance is holding, Alpha Zero One, safe travels."

"Thank you, tower, Alpha Zero One is a go," replied Cortez. He killed his open comm. to the tower and lifted shuttle off with his typical grace. "Commander? It should only take a few hours to reach the Normandy; you okay?"

"I'm fine, Cortez, thanks," she replied. "Hey, think I could sit up there with you? I'd like to see how things look."

"Sure thing, ma'am, but you I doubt you'll like the view."

She unbuckled and stood, Kaidan right beside her, his hand at the small of her back until she was seated in the empty co-pilot seat next to Cortez.

"Tower, this is Normandy Kodiak Alpha Zero One requesting clearance at fifteen thousand feet," Cortez said in his call to the tower back at Reykjavik Station. "The commander is asking for an investigative fly-by over the North American and European continents."

"Alpha Zero One, your altitude and request is granted. Transferring you to ground control Boston Six Three."

"Copy all, tower, much appreciated," Cortez replied.

"This is Boston Six Three, Normandy Alpha Zero One, we've got you."

"Copy Boston Six Three, thank you," Cortez finished, tapping the comm. signal silent. "Okay, Commander, we're good. I hope you'll be okay with keeping it short though, ma'am, there are few dozen of my crewmates that are waiting to see you."

She grinned and nodded. "Not a problem, I'm ready to get home too. I just wanted to see."

The shuttle had already made its descent and Cortez leveled them off, lowering the covers from the shuttle's cockpit windows. "We're just off of Newfoundland, ma'am. We'll be over Bangor in the next three minutes."

The sun shone brightly as Kate leaned forward in her seat, her gaze on the horizon as land came into view. The green that should have greeted her was instead mostly blackened craters with virtually no infrastructure visible at all. There were no roads to speak of, no buildings standing, no lush miles of hardwood trees which should have been bright with new growth.

There was just death.

"Sweet Jesus," she whispered. "Are there at least encampments? Is there anything?"

"Not here ma'am, no. Until a few weeks ago, it was too cold for anyone to hold out this far north,"

"It's still normal for it drop to freezing or below at night," Kaidan added. "Most survivors would have worked their way south."

"Right," she replied. "But from here that should have forced people to the Great Lakes or down the eastern seaboard, one of the most populated parts of the continent."

"We're coming over Boston, ma'am," Cortez stated, looking out his side window.

"So the cold would have funneled them straight into the Reapers, who would have been heavily harvesting that area," she breathed, looking up at Kaidan. "That is, assuming they used the same tactics here as they did on Thessia and Palaven."

Kaidan's lips were in a tight line as he nodded. "They did. And that's exactly what happened."

She turned back to her window. "Sometimes I think James was right," she muttered.

"His sentiment was, Shepard," Kaidan agreed. "But Anderson knew what he was doing when he ordered us out. But for the record, I didn't like it anymore than Vega."

The next half hour was spent in near-silence as Cortez flew them over the northern portion of the continent. He eventually turned to Kate and cleared his throat. "Ma'am, there's comm. chatter from the Luna tower wondering why we've not been handed over to them yet. Do you want me to tell them we're moving onto Europe?"

She shook her head distractedly, not looking back at Cortez. "No, Steve," she replied softly. "I think I've seen enough for now. I'm just sorry we didn't do better."

**xXx**

The Kodiak wasn't able to dock directly into the Normandy's shuttle bay as she was now fully in berth dock. The hangar and the bulk of the engineering level were stripped of their interior framing and walls, making way for the new hardware installation and the final removal of the systems that had been dependent on EDI.

"It's not very convenient, ma'am, no," Cortez answered after Shepard asked him his thoughts. "But the retrofit team and the crew are making quick work of the overhaul and I've been told it'll only be another two weeks before they move up to levels two and three."

She nodded and turned to Kaidan. "What'll be done to house everyone when they move up to level three?"

"The plan is to build temporary dormitories in the hangar," Kaidan replied. "Sorry, Cortez, it'll be a little longer before you've got good parking again."

Cortez snorted. "I guess so," he said with a smile as he turned on the comm. link. "Mars Station, this is Normandy Alpha Zero One, we are inbound, ETA seven minutes. Requesting permission to dock and a slip assignment."

"Welcome back, Alpha Zero One, permission granted. Please confirm Commander Shepard is aboard."

"Affirmative, station, the commander is present."

There was a pause before the controller returned. "Thank you, Alpha Zero One. Bay seven-delta is assigned. Note there are civilians in the vicinity, please acknowledge."

"Copy all. We'll watch our step, station."

"Civilians? It's a military landing-zone, isn't it?" Kaidan asked Cortez.

"It is, sir, yes," Cortez confirmed. "But it's most likely media and such, they do know we're coming after all. It's a good location though; it's a very short walk to the Normandy."

Kate nodded. "Okay, good to know."

Cortez brought the shuttle in and they landed smoothly. Kate and Kaidan waited for Cortez to shut the shuttle systems down and Kaidan gathered his belongings, while Kate waited by the shuttle door. Kaidan stepped back into the cockpit.

"Listen," he said to Cortez in a quiet voice. "If there's a crowd out there, we may need to send for transportation. She doesn't need to be getting mobbed and possibly knocked around," he stated. "And I want you to walk on her other side; we'll flank her, understood?"

"Yes, sir. I'm sure it'll be fine, Major."

"It's my job to make sure it is, so please just stick with her," Kaidan said before turning to move toward the door.

Cortez joined them and opened the shuttle doors.

Kate began to laugh in happy surprise. "Wow!"

There were several hundred people present in the hangar bay, all lining the landing pad, staircases and catwalks surrounding it. Turians, Asari, and Krogan were mixed among the cheering crowd, most of whom were waving, holding signs or clapping as she came into sight.

"This has to be most of the station, ma'am!" Cortez declared with a wide grin. "Guess these folks wanted to say hello!"

Kate just gaped.

Kaidan smiled, shaking his head as he stepped off the shuttle and offered Kate his hand. "It's a heck of a turnout, and it doesn't look like a lot of media, which is good," he replied. "Here comes security, that's helpful, I don't want you getting surrounded. You could fall."

"I'm not made of glass, you know," she argued with a grin, starting to wave back to the crowd as it moved forward. "And I am _not_ running to the Normandy, Kaidan, there are a lot of people here and they're here for a reason. I'm going to say hello at the very least."

He nodded and leaned close, whispering in her ear. "Of course you are, but just take it easy. For me, okay?" He stepped away as she quietly agreed. "And you know I'm not saying you shouldn't visit with these people, I mean, this is great! I just want you to remember you've only been cane free for about four hours."

She laughed. "Yeah, like I'd forgotten," she snorted. They reached the mouth of the path security had cleared for them to the terminal and she took several minutes walking it, pausing to speak to people and posing for several pictures with members of the crowd.

"They love her," Cortez noted, crossing his arms and leaning in to speak privately to Kaidan. The crowd was very loud. "I thought you preferred to avoid this kind of thing?"

"Yeah, but this is different. This isn't a bunch of reporters that will scrutinize every little thing; these are the everyday people she fought for and saved," he replied. "But for me? No, I don't feel very comfortable with this kind of attention when it's aimed in my direction, not that a crowd like this would ever be meeting _my_ shuttle," he added with a grin.

They watched Kate position herself in the middle of a large group of Asari commandos for a picture. "But Shepard, she just mixes right in and she's happy to do it," he finished, his tone something akin to awe.

Cortez nodded. "Sure. She's their hero, you know? But that's not how you see her."

Kaidan, his eyes never leaving Kate, who was now several feet ahead of them and talking to a young Alliance soldier, didn't stop watching her as he replied. "Why do you say that?"

"Major, I realize it might not be appropriate for me to say this, but she's special to you in a way none of us know. So between this kind of thing, the press interviews, the paparazzi following her around _and_ combat situations, I think it must be hard not to be _real_ damned protective."

"It is, and I do my best not to be a pain about it, which she recognizes," Kaidan agreed. "What's hard is I know what it's like to be without her, and I don't want to live like that ever again. But that fear colors things, too, and I sometimes have to remember to take a step back."

"I wish I could say that I don't understand what that's like, but I do," Cortez commiserated. "I'm glad you two got another chance, sir."

Kaidan nodded. "Thanks, me too," he said sincerely. His brow furrowed and he gestured to Kate. "Okay, I think she's getting tired. You're over on her left and I'll get her moving."

Cortez quickly moved to Kate's left side and she turned and smiled happily at him. "This is amazing; I've never in my life had such a hello!"

"You earned it, ma'am," Cortez replied with a grin. "And I agree it's pretty fantastic as far as welcomes go!"

Kate watched as a security officer spoke with Kaidan, who nodded and said something into the man's omni-tool before returning to them.

"Well, apparently, this little party of yours has caused quite the commotion in the main hangar of the station," Kaidan explained. "So, we're not walking to the Normandy. Come on, follow me."

He led the way to the bay door and with one last wave to the crowd, Kate followed him into a small alcove, Cortez right behind her. Instead of taking the door into the main terminal, the security officer Kaidan had been speaking with opened another door marked 'Authorized Personnel Only' and escorted them into a small hallway. A moment later, they'd reached its end and Kaidan opened that door, a bark of laughter escaping him.

"Yo! Commander! Your chariot awaits!" called James grandly, his arm extended like a game show host, walking down the length of a bright green and very small transport.

Kate entered what appeared to be a supply room and grinned. It was one of those little hover transports that would have normally been ferrying cartons or cargo, with two seats facing forward and two facing the rear, with the rest of the vehicle consisting of a flat bed.

"Vega! You're driving us the last leg? I don't know, I'm runnin' outta lives as it is," Kate teased before shaking James's hand. "It's good to see you, Lieutenant. Thanks for keeping the Normandy in one piece while I was away."

"Technically, Commander, she's in a lot of little pieces, but Adams swears it'll all go back together somehow," James joked. He looked at Kaidan and saluted. "Sir, we're ready to roll."

"Great, James, thanks for coming to our rescue," Kaidan said.

Cortez shook James's hand and watched as Kaidan helped Kate step up onto the small transport.

"She okay?" James asked Cortez under his breath.

"Yeah, she's good. But I'm glad you're here to drive us, she needs the help right now whether she wants it or not."

"Well, you know Lola, nothing's too much for her."

Kate looked at them both as Kaidan climbed in next to her. "Quit talking about me," she teased. "Come on, let's get back. There're a few people I'd like to see."

James and Cortez grinned, each climbing onto the transport, James at the wheel.

"James, you sure you can drive this thing?" Kate quipped and Cortez sniggered while Kaidan quietly smiled.

"This, Commander, is not a complex piece of equipment like a shuttle," he drawled, "but _rather_ it's a simple vehicle with…" he hit the accelerator and the transport jerked forward, snapping everyone's necks back slightly before it jerked again. "Damn!" James cursed, tapping on the console.

"Cortez," Kaidan said, trying to hide his grin as the pilot hopped out of his seat and shooed James from his.

"Chin up, Vega, at least you shoot better than you drive," Kate joked as they glided toward the Normandy's hangar, James pink to the tips of his ears.

**xXx**

Once aboard the Normandy, Kate wasn't allowed to greet her crew in the way she'd hoped, but instead was immediately hauled off to the med bay by Dr. Chakwas, who spent the next thirty minutes assessing everything from her hearing to her reflexes.

Finally free from the well-meaning doctor, she was met by Kaidan and they went down to the gutted hangar bay, where the crew waited for them. With a wide grin, Kate stepped off the elevator, practically squeezing through the door before they finished opening, so eager was she to see them.

She was again greeted by cheers.

For several minutes she mingled with her crew, checking on the ones who needed it and listening to everyone carefully, whether they were relaying a concern or just catching up. Reaching the far side of the hangar, she spotted her friends, Joker, Traynor, Liara, Garrus, and Tali, all congregating together while they waited for her to reach them.

"Damn, Shepard, you're nearly as slow as me, now," Joker said as she reached them.

"You may actually be faster, Joker." She waggled her eyebrows. "Wanna race?"

Garrus stepped close and put his arm around her shoulder. "Shepard, you've got some new scars," he quipped. "Maybe next time you save the galaxy from extinction, you should remember you're not as young as you used to be."

She laughed as she hugged him as best she could, her arm still in its sling. "God, I have missed you."

"Same here," he replied, clearing his throat as his mandibles flexed. "It's about damned time you got back, too. Now let go before Tali gets jealous."

Tali cuffed him on the shoulder as she too hugged Kate, whispering in her ear something about the upcoming poker night, but Liara interrupted her with a quick hug and a request to talk about a concept she'd come across that could likely help with relay repairs.

Kate noticed Traynor watching Liara out of the corner of her eye as they spoke and she chuckled knowingly. She turned back to Joker and hobbled over to the pilot, who smiled as she arrived. They people-watched together quietly for a few moments, something they'd done many times before, but this time there was an awkwardness about it, the proverbial gorilla in the room too big to ignore for long.

Joker cleared his throat.

"Just say it, will you?" he asked, his tone a mixture of annoyance and desperation.

If it had been any other subordinate, she'd have been irritated by his impertinence and made sure he'd known it. But he wasn't. Joker was her friend, her champion and a lifesaver, his sarcasm and irreverent comments often the only things that allowed her to maintain her own sense of humor, something she desperately needed.

"I'm sorry about EDI."

He was silent for a moment, his eyes locked with hers. "Yeah, me too."

"You okay?"

He shrugged. "I'm gettin' there. We put her name on the wall; she's up there with Mordin, Anderson and everybody."

Kate smiled softly. "She always did keep good company."

Joker's nostrils flared and he cleared his throat. "Yeah. Well, anyway, I'm glad you're back."

Knowing Joker as she did, she understood it would take some work to get him to talk to her about EDI's death, and so she did what he needed her to do, and changed the subject.

"Where's Javik?" she asked, but it was Garrus who answered her as he came to stand with them.

"Long story, Shepard, but one I'll tell you later," the Turian said as he gestured over his shoulder. "I think you've got a speech to make."

James walked over to the group and handed Kate a backup omni-tool that had been in her office desk. "You'll need this so they can hear you."

"Got it," she replied and she turned the unit on, selecting the proper program as she worked her way back to the middle of the room. The crew grew quiet as she began to speak, the omni-tool amplifying her voice.

"Good evening!" she called, smiling. "I cannot describe to you how good it is to be home."

There were some cheers and whistles; she waited to continue. "I wish I could stay and visit with each of you tonight, but I'm pretty sure Dr. Chakwas will be here any minute to make me rest or give me a shot, so I'll keep it short. I wanted to thank each and every one of you for your steadfast dedication to your crewmates and to your officers. I can't tell you how proud I am of everything you've accomplished."

Kaidan stepped through the crowd and arrived at her side.

"For the time being, I'm on medical leave," she continued. "But by no means does that translate into _unavailable,_ and my open door policy stands. I'm going to do my best to get back to full-duty as quickly as possible, and in the meantime, I'm going to be helping your acting CO with whatever I can."

She looked at Kaidan who nodded, his own omni-tool lighting up.

"For now, though, we're going to continue with the chain of command as is," Kaidan explained. "Commander Shepard will resume duty as soon as she's completed her recovery and cleared by Dr. Chakwas. Continue to report to your appropriate supervisor and both Lieutenant Vega and I are available to you as well. Are there any questions?"

There weren't any and so Kate turned off her omni-tool while Kaidan dismissed everyone. A few minutes of goodbyes and 'see you tomorrows' later, Kate was realizing how worn out she was.

Garrus approached, Tali at his side. "Get some sleep, Shepard, we'll all catch up tomorrow," he said and Tali offered her own good night as well.

Liara said good night and James waved from across the room; he was speaking with several crewmen. Kaidan offered Kate his arm and she leaned heavily against him, Traynor calling out to them before they made it very far.

"Major?" she asked. "Glad I caught you. I've updated your calendar with tomorrow's itinerary, and you're free until about eleven. Lieutenant Vega is taking care of your morning brief with Engineer Adams."

Kate smiled gently. "That's nice of James."

Kaidan shook his head. "It is, but I'm back, so he doesn't need to," he argued. "Specialist, tell Vega I've got it."

"With all due respect, sir, take the time," Traynor said firmly. "You're both in need of a good lie-in, I'm sure. Hospital beds are the stuff of nightmares."

Kaidan frowned, clearly about to argue further when Traynor respectfully pressed on. "Sir, it's done, the itinerary is changed and I'm off duty, which means it's as good as written in stone. I've already sent all the reports to Lieutenant Vega, so you won't have the data you'd need to conduct the meeting anyway. Good night to you both," she finished and quickly walked away, joining Liara who was waiting by the elevators.

Kate bit back a grin. "She always was efficient."

He sighed and chuckled. "That's an understatement," he said, looking down at her. "Well, it looks like I've got the morning off."

The hangar was nearly empty now and she leaned in close, smiling up seductively at him from under her lashes.

"Kaidan Alenko, take me to bed or lose me forever."

**xXx**

They arrived at their cabin a few minutes later and Kate smiled. "Hey guys, I'm back," she whispered to the fish, running her fingers over the glass as she watched them swim. She noticed the tank VI was disabled. "Babe? You know the VI's off?" she called over her shoulder.

He came up behind her, his arms wrapping around her waist. "Not all of us commit fish genocide without it," he whispered in her ear. "It was overfeeding them, so Tali's been feeding them for me instead."

She leaned back against him and giggled. "Genocide is a slight exaggeration," she argued.

He nuzzled her neck before placing a slow kiss behind her ear. "That's not the way I hear it."

"Lies, all lies," she breathed as the tip of his tongue caressed her earlobe.

"Right," he chuckled, the sound vibrating in his chest. "Kate, tell me you asked Chakwas about sex?"

She gasped as he cupped a breast over her shift. "We're good," she replied as his hands travelled down and began to undo the belt of her pants. "But I should probably be on top."

He turned her around, kissing her hotly. "I can handle that," he answered in a husky tone, stepping back and tugging his shirt over his head, before dropping it to the floor.

She bit her lip, her eyes running over his olive skin and sculpted chest and belly. "Hell, yes you can."

He smiled, returning to her. "I've missed you," he said, kissing her again.

Together they carefully worked her free of her shirt and she kicked her boots off before shimmying out of her pants. His hands roamed her body, caressing her before he paused and removed her bra. He slid his hands around to cup her, large, warm fingers circled her nipples as he expertly brought each to a tight peak. He pushed her gently up against the glass of the aquarium, its cold making her shiver as he kissed his way down her neck and then took a nipple into his hot mouth.

"Kaidan," she panted, her eyelids sliding closed as he teased her, his lips slowly trailing down past her belly button.

He kissed and sucked his way to her panty line, lowering himself to his knees in front of her. She watched with erotic fascination as he skirted the edge of her panties to her hip where, with a thumb, he caught their edge and pulled that side lower. He glanced up at her, his eyes locked with hers as he followed the fabric's edge to her other hip, kissing the indent at her hip bone as he tugged at the other side of her panties, pulling them down her legs, allowing her to step out of them.

He kissed her just above her pubic bone, before looking up at her with a knowing smile. "Want to join me on the bed?"

She was trembling with want and need, and the heat in her eyes let him know how aroused she was as she breathlessly nodded, her bottom lip caught between her teeth.

He scooped her up and carried her over, carefully laying her on top of the comforter, kissing her lightly before he stood away and finished undressing. She watched him carefully, her eyes roaming his body and her gaze settling on his thick erection once he was naked.

She reached for him, caressing his skin and stroking him as he climbed over the top of her. He remained braced on his knees, his hands bunched in the sheet on either side of her head, his eyes closing as she gathered his length in her hand and brought him to an almost unbearable hardness.

"Kate," he breathed, shifting his hips, backing up so he slipped out of her grip. "I love you."

She reached up to bring him to her, kissing his mouth, but he wouldn't come closer, instead he locked his elbows. "No, baby, I don't want to risk getting too caught up and hurting your arm," he explained as he pulled away.

He lowered his mouth to the valley between her breasts, his kisses following the same sensual path he'd already blazed down her middle, moving down her body before he settled himself between her thighs.

With exquisite torture, he teased her, his mouth and fingers finally breaching her heat just when she hadn't thought she could take anymore. She didn't last long, he knew her body better than his own, and he took her to completion before carefully rolling them over.

He cradled her against his chest, kissing her brow and temple as she adjusted herself. She sat up, straddling him, and he came to his elbows, tasting her fevered skin. She lifted herself and he joined her, filling her as they set their rhythm at a leisurely pace – they would savor this reunion.

In perfect combination, they pulled each other over the edge, Kate's cries of pleasure taking Kaidan to his own release. She fell against him, resting on her good arm in the crook of his, feathering kisses on his shoulder as he panted and swallowed hard.

"God, Kate, you have no idea what you do to me," he rasped. His brow was sweaty and his normally perfect hair was tousled, making him look impish when he smiled at her.

She studied him, her lips pulled into a gentle smile, her features soft. "I love that you're the last thing I'll see tonight," she whispered, her lids fluttering shut as she began to drift to sleep.

He caressed her cheek.

"Tonight, and every night after," he answered quietly as her breathing became slow and steady. His nostrils flared and his lips drew into a tight line as he reflected that there'd been far too many nights without her next to him. "And every morning," he vowed. "Every single one."

_**A big thank you to Lisa for a double beta and helping me out with Kaidan's wonderfully busy hands! Thank you, Michele, for your aid in terminology and your character/canon check! I'm very grateful to each of you for helping this story work.**_

_**I'm beyond appreciative for every review, alert, favorite and comment I receive for this story. I just want to high five every one of you!**_

_**Oh! And a cyber-cookie to whoever guesses which movie line is 'borrowed' and who says it. :)**_


	10. Reality Stinks

**Reality Stinks**

Kate sat curled up on a couch in the observation lounge, her feet tucked up under her, and coffee mug in hand. She'd tried to sleep but couldn't, and rather than disturb Kaidan, had sought her favorite beverage and someplace to catch up on her email.

Realizing that she had over nine hundred to read, she gave up, and was watching the various news and galactic update feeds on her data pad.

Her pad rested on the arm of the couch broadcasting the day's news highlights, and she switched feeds randomly between the various reports. She arched an eyebrow when she saw Diana's face appear, nothing too unusual, given she was a journalist, but it was the format that drew her attention. It was apparent that Diana was an interviewee, rather than the one conducting it.

She stopped surfing the channels and listened, her curiosity piqued. Judging by the interviewer's question, Kate had missed most of the dialogue, so she turned up the volume on the pad, wondering what they were discussing.

"Diana, thank you so much for speaking with us today," the anchorman was saying. "Now, before you go, we know you don't normally answer questions regarding the commander's personal life, but I'm hoping you'll answer this one."

Diana nodded. "We'll see."

"We all know how energized humanity is by today's announcement," he began. "This is one of the best pieces of news the galaxy has learned since the end of the Reapers, and we're all abuzz with it, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that the people who know Commander Shepard best are even more thrilled than the rest of us can imagine."

"That's a reasonable guess," Diana agreed with a slight smile. "But I didn't hear the question."

"How excited are the folks back on the Normandy? You were aboard the vessel during the entire war; how does the crew of the Normandy feel today?"

"Joyful and a sizable amount of relief," she answered.

The anchorman smiled. "Do you think they'll be celebrating?"

"Absolutely." Diana's smile grew as she looked aside, seeming to gather her thoughts. "You know, there's this picture of Shepard with her team, taken maybe six or eight months ago," she began. "It stands out because it's a candid shot, they're all relaxed, piled on a sofa, and it's clearly the most natural thing in the world, being together like that. But when I saw it, I realized the depth of what they mean to one another, and those relationships, they're made of steel, I think."

"So they're happy tonight?"

Diana nodded. "They're more than happy, they're whole again. I wish I could be up there tonight."

"Well, Diana Allers of Battle Space, we'll let you go so you can do just that. Thank you so much for being here with us and sharing your reaction on today's unexpected announcement," the anchorman replied before quickly changing topics.

Kate turned off her data pad and stretched.

"She's right, you know," said James as he settled onto the sofa next to her. "I wish you coulda been here, Lola, and seen how they reacted when I told them. It was pretty damned awesome."

"Garrus is right, I _am_ getting old, I didn't even hear you come in," she replied with a smile. "What are you doing up so late?"

"Late? Nope, it's past late and gone into early," he answered. "It's almost five, so I'm here to grab a cup of joe before I run through my workout."

"It's that late? Crap," she muttered.

"Early, Lola."

"Whatever," she said with a wave of her hand before pulling a face. "Wait, you drink coffee?"

"Sure."

"Huh, I sorta figured you for a wheat grass soy protein kind of guy."

"Not at this hour," he replied. "This early – "

"Late," she interjected.

He rolled his eyes. "_Early_, I let Juan Valdez get me movin'. I'll be back for the wheat grass later on, when I'm awake," he explained, raising his mug in an unspoken toast, to which she raised her own mug, a light 'clink' heard as they tapped the ceramic together.

"So, _I'm_ here so I can work out before the morning rundown with Adams. Why are you in here?" he asked, taking a sip. "Thought you went to bed? I didn't think we'd see you two until lunch!"

She grinned and sighed. "I did go to bed, yes. I just, well, I don't really…sleep," she answered with a shrug. "And I didn't want to keep Kaidan up so I came down here."

"What, you don't sleep? _Ever_?"

"Well, I do, it's just not very well. No more than three or four hours at a time," she explained.

"You always been like that?"

She took a sip of her coffee, shaking her head. "No, just since the beacon back on Eden Prime. There's a part of my mind that doesn't rest anymore, it's always on. Dreams, visions, memories, they're always going on some level."

"That must wear you out, Lola," he said with a frown.

"Well, I'd hoped it would get better now that the Reapers are gone, and it has to a certain extent," she answered, her words trailing off. "But not tonight."

James grunted, tossing back the contents of his mug. "She's right, you know," he repeated, getting to his feet. "Diana, what she said. It's good to have you back, Commander, real good."

She smiled softly. "Thanks, I'm glad I got back."

He nodded. "Things here don't feel right without you around, you know? When we thought you were gone, it was like someone took every single one of us and spun us around - we didn't know if we were coming or going."

"What do you mean?"

"You know, when we thought you were dead, it messed everyone up. It was hard, but especially for the major and Garrus," he elaborated. "When we held our memorial for Anderson and EDI, there was a placard made for you too. It was hell watching the major try and put it up."

She stared up at James, horror in her eyes. "You…wait, you all thought I was _dead_? Kaidan thought I was dead?" she stammered, her mouth hanging open. "Oh, God."

"You didn't know that? Sure we did, of course! We left you on the Citadel while the whole system was going to hell," he explained. "Then there was no word, so..." he paused, staring at her stunned countenance. "Uh, Lola, you okay?"

She shook her head, standing slowly. "I put him through that _again?_" she whispered to herself before hurrying to put her mug on the bar's countertop and began to leave.

"Hey!" James barked lightly, drawing her attention. "What did I say? You okay?" he demanded, knowing he'd somehow distressed her, but not understanding how.

"Yeah, I'm fine, it's nothing," she breathed as she passed through the doorway and into the hall. "I just really should be there, next to Kaidan, when he wakes up. Have a good work out."

**xXx**

She crept into their cabin, peeking around the side of her desk, relieved to see that Kaidan was still asleep. Softly she padded around the cabin, laying her data pad down and stripping back out of her clothes. She used the bathroom and then returned to the bedside, pausing as she climbed back in to admire him.

He was solidly in the center of the mattress, one arm over his head and the other reaching across, as if he was waiting for her to snuggle in against him. His black hair was tousled, some of it across his face and she smiled lightly, knowing the first thing he'd do when he awoke would be to fix it. His stubble framed his strong jaw and enhanced his lips; she'd always had a thing for his mouth, but it had become almost impossible not to kiss him constantly ever since he'd stopped shaving daily.

He'd gotten bulkier over the last few years, he'd been leaner when they'd first met, but while she'd never found his physique lacking before, she had to admit she enjoyed the extra weight on him. There was obvious power in his body and she loved to feel it when he was making love to her.

With those wonderful thoughts running through her mind, she climbed into bed, tucking herself into the gap between his arm and chest, resting her head on his bicep. He immediately rolled onto his side, spooning with her.

"Hey baby," he whispered, his voice heavy with sleep.

"I love you," she replied softly, but she didn't expect him to answer, she could already feel his breathing was steady, his chest moving gently against her back. "I'm sorry."

"Love you," he murmured.

She kissed the inside of his elbow and willed herself to sleep.

**xXx**

The next week was hectic, it seemed even without the Normandy in the skies, her crew had a great deal to do.

Kaidan resumed full command of the ship and his days were filled with briefings, paperwork and the general management of everything in between. Garrus and Tali were pleased to have been invited by the Alliance to consult on the consolidation and redistribution of weaponry and tech; the salvage operation of the hundreds of ships adrift in the system was proving to be a vital effort. A cruiser's complement could number in the thousands and their equipment, water and food stores were desperately needed on Earth.

James and Cortez were working hard with the retrofit teams in the hangar bay, James still doubling as the Normandy's XO and Cortez managing to make a half a dozen shuttle runs to Luna, Earth or the still disabled Citadel, a day.

Liara seemed to stay holed up in her office, Joker was extensively involved with the retrofit and reconfiguration of the cockpit and warfare suite programs and Traynor was somehow managing everyone's schedules, details and needs seamlessly.

Kate, on the other hand, was leaving the medical bay – again – but this time, with a smile on her face. Dr. Chakwas had removed the final two pins in her elbow, having deemed it healed and ready for therapy. Kate now wore a soft sling rather than the heavier brace, making her much closer to ending her time on medical leave.

"Shepard?" Liara called as Kate rounded the corner out of the med bay. The Asari scientist was standing by the mess, a hip perched against one of the tables.

"Hey, Liara," Kate replied, stopping. "Were you waiting for me?"

"I was. I was hoping we could speak. We've had little time to visit, and I also have a few things I'd like to discuss with you," Liara answered. "Do you have time for a cup of coffee? How's your arm?"

Kate glanced down at her omni-tool, checking the time. "It's good, thanks. And I do, I have about an hour, actually, and then Hackett's meeting me here."

"Oh? Will you need to dress in your blues? I don't want to delay you."

Kate shook her head. "No, this meeting isn't an 'official' one, and I couldn't close the front with my arm like this anyway. Your office or mine?"

"Yours, I think, that is, if Kaidan isn't up there working? Glyph is completing a systems update and will be buzzing around us."

"Kaidan's in engineering all morning."

They each got their drinks and quietly rode the elevator to the loft, Kate gesturing to the couch once they'd arrived. The old friends sat comfortably together.

"So, you and Traynor, huh?" Kate asked, a smile pulling at her lips.

Liara's eyes widened but she nodded. "Yes, me and Traynor."

"How's that working out?"

Liara smiled. "Well, so far, quite well. I admit, she caught me a little off guard when she expressed her attraction to me, though now I will admit that it's mutual. I'm not sure what will come of it, but for now, we are enjoying each other's company a great deal."

"Good," Kate replied. "I gotta ask though, what happened between you and Feron?"

Liara sighed. "It became complicated, once I was in a position of authority over him. We've found it easier to resume our professional relationship, rather than pursue one that…wasn't." She pinned Kate with a look. "Speaking of such things, how are you and Kaidan?"

Kate couldn't help but grin. "We're good, really good," she replied. "I didn't realize how _restrictive_, I guess is the best word, we were both being with our feelings. I wouldn't have thought we weren't fully expressing ourselves, but now that we're not afraid there _isn't_ going to be a tomorrow, it's very different."

"I can see why," Liara said. "You're no longer required to choose every word or gesture with care, in case it is your last."

Kate nodded, her smile slipping. "I didn't realize you'd all thought I was dead, though," she said quietly. "James told me about everyone at the wall, about Kaidan putting my name up."

"He didn't put your name up, Shepard, he couldn't. We chose to wait. It was a unanimous decision."

Kate turned her face away, her eyes followed the movements of her fish. "I'd promised not to put him through that again."

"And you've kept that promise," Liara replied. "You're here, aren't you?"

Kate nodded. "Right," she whispered, with a sigh. "Liara, I wanted to ask you, how you think Joker is handling losing EDI? He's obviously struggling, but every time I try and talk to him, he just changes the subject. I want to help him through this."

Liara sat back, crossing her arms. "Stop yourself right there, Shepard. You're _not_ going to tell him about your decision."

Kate stared. "Liara, have you been reading files that aren't yours again? Like classified ones?"

"That's not what we're discussing, Shepard. You'll be doing Joker no favors if you tell him why EDI died."

"Yeah, you're _really_ _not_ supposed to have that info, Liara. And just _how_ is it you know what I'm thinking of doing anyway?" she demanded. "Maybe I was going to make him some muffins."

"Because you don't cook and I _know_ you. You always want to fix things, to make things better, especially for those you care about," Liara explained.

"What the hell's wrong with that?"

Liara rolled her eyes. "Nothing, except this time you'd be doing more harm than good. Yes, I've read the report, and I'll admit, the possibilities of the other two choices the Catalyst offered could make my mind spin for the next millennium. However, you chose the right one."

"You don't think he'd feel better at least knowing _why_ EDI's gone? You don't think it would help?"

"No, I don't," Liara stated firmly. "And before you take this idea of yours to Garrus, you should know I've already spoken with him and he agrees with me. Joker's hurt, and mixed into his pain is anger. How does it do him any good to possibly aim that at you?"

"I know damn well why he's hurting, I'm responsible for it!"

"No, you're _not_, the _Reapers_ were. Alleviating any misplaced guilt of your own will only make Joker's pain greater. In fact, considering it may compel him to cut you out of his life, I believe it would be selfish of you to do so. He needs _you_."

Kate stood up and paced. "Then what the hell do I do?"

"You let things run their course. Joker will be alright," Liara said gently. "In time, he'll talk to you and you'll listen. Then he'll be stronger and you'll know I'm right."

Kate frowned and began to argue, but Liara cut her off.

"Shepard, you're aware that besides EDI, you're the only other person he ever really shared things with," she said quickly. "He's friends with all of us, yes, but you, _you_ he confides in, and now, EDI's gone. Don't take from him the only person he has left."

"It feels wrong."

"That will pass once Joker begins to recover," Liara reasoned. "And he _will_, Shepard, he just needs more time," she finished, standing up. "I'll let you get ready for your meeting with Admiral Hackett."

"Alright," Kate agreed, standing up as well. "One last thing, though, okay? That's no fair, going to Garrus. He's _my_ sounding board, not yours, and he'd have eventually made me see your point anyway. Why'd you tinker with what works?"

"Tinker? How did I tinker?"

"You know exactly how, Liara, there's a perfectly good system in place here. I have a dilemma, I tell Kaidan. Kaidan goes quiet for a few days, thinking things through, and I get worked-up and pester Garrus."

"I still don't see my error, Shepard."

Kate crossed her arms. "Well, between the two of _them_, I figure out what I need to do, and all is right in the galaxy once more, most of the time without the crew any the wiser, and _always_ _without_ me knowing that my friend has been _illegally_ digging in Alliance files. _Again_."

"Hmm. I see your point," Liara admitted. "Well then, I apologize for having tinkered."

"You meant well," Kate reluctantly conceded. "Did you tell Garrus everything?"

"About your interaction with the Catalyst? I explained the primary choices given to you, but that was all. I realize, of course, that speaking with him about this isn't an option for you, given its classification, so I'll share that he too agrees with your decision."

Kate exhaled. "I'd figured he would, to be honest, but yeah, thanks for telling me anyway. Come on, I'll walk you out, it's time for me to meet Admiral Hackett."

Liara nodded before entering the hallway and hailing the elevator. "Come and see me when you're finished, if you feel like talking, alright? I'm here to listen."

"Listen? Why would I need to talk…Liara! Wait! What do you…seriously? Oh Christ, don't say anything else, and stay the hell out of Alliance files, will you?"

**xXx**

Kate met Admiral Hackett at the airlock, offering him a somewhat stunted salute, but happy to be able to offer it all the same.

"Welcome aboard, sir," she said, lowering her arm slowly, once Hackett had returned the salute.

"Commander," he replied. "Nice to see you're making progress with your injuries. When did you get out of the brace on your arm?"

"Just a little over an hour ago, sir."

"Good, good. Not too much longer and you'll be back in fighting form," he said. "Now, as this meeting isn't officially occurring, I don't want to cause too much of a distraction with my arrival. Is there somewhere we can talk without interruption?"

Kate nodded. "Yes, sir. We can use the conference room, the war room isn't in use during the retrofit and most of the systems are powered down, so there shouldn't be any crew working back there."

"Excellent. Lead the way, Commander," he replied, dismissing the aide that was with him.

Kate turned and walked the length of the CIC, escorting Hackett to the double doors leading to the conference room area. Traynor, standing at her post, gaped for a moment before scrambling to stand at attention and salute.

"At ease, Specialist," Hackett said as he and Kate walked past. "No fussing, I'm only here for a few minutes."

Kate gave Traynor a quick nod. "It's not on your calendar, Traynor. Don't panic, I'll take care of the admiral."

The doors opened and Kate walked into the conference room, stopping to stand next to the long table while Hackett walked to the far end, laying a data pad down, his back to her. He didn't readily speak and she began to realize that perhaps the admiral didn't have a positive reason for requesting this meeting.

A pit of anxiety began to form in her stomach.

"Shepard, I'm going to cut to the chase here. You're being reassigned once you're off medical leave."

She managed to get her mouth closed again by the time Hackett turned around to face her.

"I'm sorry, sir. Did…did you say reassigned?"

The admiral nodded. "Yes, I did."

"May I ask why, sir? Have I done something wrong?"

"No, Shepard, of course not. In fact, it's quite the opposite."

"Then I don't understand why I would be…"

"Most of the crew will be, Commander. Once the retrofit is completed, the majority of the crew here will be transferred, and many promoted."

"I don't understand. I mean, of course I understand the promotions; they're well earned, but why relocate anyone? Some of the crew has been here less than two years – most assignments are at least three, some as long as six."

"Shepard, there are an enormous number of specialized technicians on the Normandy," he began. "The officers and enlisted personnel here have a very unique level of experience and expertise in any given number of scenarios. The simple fact is, the war with the Reapers has created a vacuum of capable men and women."

"So the Alliance is looking at the Normandy to fill it," she reasoned with a sigh.

"Precisely. The crew here is a shining example of what the Alliance is capable of accomplishing, and the bottom line is, they're needed elsewhere."

"With all due respect, sir, while everyone on this ship is a good crewman, the success of the Normandy is a direct result of the unique combination of them all, not due to one particular person or talent. Breaking them up could well eliminate the success you're hoping to duplicate."

"Possibly yes, but I think we both know that given a challenge, people like Specialist Traynor or Lieutenant Cortez have proven themselves capable of meeting it, and that's just to mention two of the number who are being transferred," Hackett reasoned.

She didn't answer, and he studied her for a moment, his tone softer when he spoke again. "Shepard, I want you to understand me when I say I know what is being asked of everyone. I know that this crew sees itself as a family."

She nodded. "You're right, sir, we do," she replied. "I see the logic in the decision sir, I may even agree with it. But I don't like it and I wouldn't expect that to change, sir."

"Don't let the fact that I'm delivering this news give you the impression that I'm enthusiastic about it," he replied sternly. "I'd hope you realize that I'm doing so because I know what we're breaking apart here, Shepard. Off the record, I'm not entirely convinced it's the best choice. However, I don't see a way around this, it's a necessary evil."

She sighed, recognizing he was resolved. "Yes, sir. Do you have a roster for me?"

"I do, but technically, it's for Major Alenko, as he's the CO," he answered. "And that's the other reason I wanted to speak with you privately. I don't believe the major will be any more eager for these changes than you."

"You're giving him command of the Normandy," she said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"We are."

"Well, at least I'm comfortable with the capabilities of my replacement, though I don't know that he'll accept, sir," she replied.

"No, he likely won't," Hackett agreed. "I very briefly mentioned the possibility to him while you were still in the hospital and he stated outright that he'd resign his commission first. I want you to keep him from doing so."

"If he believes it would let me stay in command here, then there's really nothing to be said, sir," she argued. "Kaidan simply won't do that, no matter what I say."

Hackett nodded. "Which is why I want it made clear from the start that if he declines, the post will go to another appropriate choice," he stated. "You're being given command of the SSV Berlin."

"That's a cruiser, sir," she said in surprise. "I'm a special operations soldier who's also a Spectre. How would I complete my missions aboard a cruiser? The increased travel time alone would make placing me in a majority of the scenarios I typically work prohibitive."

"Commander, even Anderson gave up special operations when the time came. You're more than a gun slinger, Shepard, much more. And right now, the Alliance needs you to use all of your talents, not just your abilities in combat. We need your leadership."

She swallowed hard, blinking several times. "Which the Alliance has always had. I don't believe I can be accused of _ever_ giving half measure."

Hackett didn't reply, but simply clasped his hands behind his back.

"Sir, I don't know that I'm prepared to accept that command," she said slowly. "I'll need some time to consider."

The admiral nodded. "I thought you might," he replied. "There's no rush, Shepard. I came here to tell you in person because I thought you deserved to know now, as early as possible. Nothing will be announced or finalized until after the Normandy is ready for service. You've got at least another month or two before Personnel needs your answer."

She nodded. "Thank you, Admiral. I know the commander of the fleet doesn't normally handle this sort of thing, I appreciate your concern, and for going out of your way to share this with me."

"Commander, it's the very least I could do." He picked up the data pad and walked to her side of the table, offering it to her.

"This isn't official, at least, not entirely. Your assignment to the Berlin is arranged, as is the major's assumption of command here, but I realize neither of you may go along with this. Traynor, Cortez and Vega's assignments are finalized, however, they're not to be advised until the orders are cut, something, again, that won't be happening until the Normandy's retrofit is completed."

She glanced down at the pad, skimming the list of personnel that would be reassigned. "Joker's on here."

"He won't be by the time the list is announced. I've declined that assignment, but approved his promotion. I think taking Joker off of the Normandy would be a significant blow to both the crew and to Moreau himself."

"I agree, sir. Thank you for looking out for him."

Hackett paused, looking down at her, his lips in a grim line. "I may be at the top of the food chain, Commander, but not too long ago, I was running a frigate with my own crew to care for. It's a special time, but nothing lasts forever. I know how carefully you've groomed these outstanding individuals, encouraged them. I hope you know that won't be ignored."

"Yes, sir," she said softly, meeting his eyes. "When do I need to notify you about my decision?"

"Has Alenko heard anything about his parents?"

"Nothing, sir."

"And Dr. Chakwas thinks you'll be up to helping in the search?"

Kate nodded. "Yes. She's confident I'll be able to handle myself."

Hackett crossed his arms. "The Berlin won't be ready for you for another eight to ten weeks at the earliest, it's being overhauled above Luna. I can give you until you and Alenko return, six weeks at the most, but then I'll have to have your answer."

"Understood, sir," she said stiffly. "I'll need to discuss this with Major Alenko."

"Of course, this greatly affects you both," he replied. "Also, keep me informed, Commander, about the plans you and the major make regarding his family. Can I assume the search may include you two trekking into the wilderness of British Columbia?"

She smiled weakly. "Possibly."

"That should prove eventful," he remarked. "Do you have any questions?"

"No, sir."

"Good. Then I'll head out, your Cortez is taking me out to Luna today. He's a hell of a pilot," he noted. "I think you'll find that not only is his assignment a very good one, but everyone being transferred has been looked after, Shepard. All of them have bright futures."

Kate quietly followed the admiral back through the ship, spying Traynor hovering near the airlock with Vega as they approached. Both snapped perfect salutes.

"Yes, sir, they do. They certainly do."

_**Thank you to Lisa for her watchful eye and awesome beta! Thanks also to Michele for her continued help with canon and characterizations. Y'all keep me on the straight and narrow!**_

_**Thank you to everyone for reading, subscribing and for reviewing. Getting your feedback is a wonderful treat and I'm grateful to each of you!**_


	11. Hold Onto Me As We Go

**Hold Onto Me As We Go**

Steve was walking through the main hangar, data pad in hand, trying to work his way through the crowd while reviewing the details of his last flight report before he submitted it to Major Alenko.

It had been a very busy day for him, he'd made a run to Earth and two to Luna, including a flight for Admiral Hackett, and he was very ready not see the inside of his shuttle for a few hours as well as looking forward to tonight's poker game. It would be the first weekly game the commander would attend since the battle for Earth and it promised to be a great evening.

His omni-tool pinged and he saw the alert was for an incoming message from Garrus. He tapped the miniscule console and Garrus's voice was soon heard in his ear piece.

"Hey, Garrus, I'm back at the station now. What's up?" he asked the Turian over the comm.

"Swing by Yogi's and grab a few bottles of vodka, will you? I'm sending you a list of a few other things Tali says we're running low on," replied Garrus. "Also, Shepard said something about a Canadian lager for Alenko. Good luck finding that."

"Did she say what kind?"

"No clue and I haven't seen her for hours."

Steve turned left, changing his direction so he could stop at Yogi's, the largest of the local bars. They had a good stock of standard liquors at decent prices and were always happy to help out anyone from the Normandy.

"Okay, well, I'm almost at Yogi's now, anything else?" Steve asked.

"Nothing that I know of," Garrus answered. "You might want to try Shepard though and see if she's already gotten the lager or not, otherwise, I'll see you back here. We're starting at 20:30, so there's still plenty of time."

"Got it, thanks, Garrus."

"See you back here, Vakarian out."

Steve paused to allow a large group of Asari to pass and then hurried through the crowd to Yogi's front door, entering and making his way to the side bar, where individual bottles could be bought. There were a few people in front of him and so he took the time to send a quick message to the commander.

It wasn't long before Steve could place his order, giving the details to the burly barman named Francis. He read the list Garrus had sent to the Batarian and asked about any kind of lager he might carry.

"Had some, but Commander Shepard is drinking up the last few bottles."

"She picked them up?" Steve asked, confused by Francis's choice of words.

Francis shrugged. "Well, unless she's drinking it through a straw, yeah, I guess you could say that. Go look for yourself, she's in the back, drinking them now."

Steve pulled a face, and Francis shook his head, gesturing over his left shoulder with his thumb. "I let her sit in the lounge, even though it's closed until the dinner crowd comes. Figured she'd get pestered if she sat out here. You can go back, if you want."

"Thanks, Francis, I'll just go say hello," Steve replied, holding out his credit chit. "Would you put the order on this? I'll grab everything on my way out."

"You got it."

Steve stepped around the counter and through the door which led to the lounge. It was a large room, with several dining tables set up, and it was mostly dark, lending an intimate atmosphere. On the far side of the room though, was a massive window, with a floor to ceiling view of the Martian landscape. A lone chair was situated in the middle of the wide area, Commander Shepard reclined in it, feet propped up and facing the panorama.

Quietly, Steve walked up behind his commander, noticing that there were about six bottles of lager near her feet, three of which appeared open. A data pad was on the floor and she was dressed in civilian casual clothes, not in her BDUs.

"Ma'am?"

She glanced to her right and nodded before looking back out the window. "Cortez. What brings you out?"

"I'm picking up supplies for tonight's game," he replied slowly. "You?"

"I'm getting drunk."

He arched an eyebrow. "Oh. Uh, any particular reason, ma'am?"

"Yup," she answered, taking a swig of her drink but saying nothing more.

"Which is?"

She snorted. "Oh, _that_ little news nugget I'll keep to myself."

He studied Shepard for a few quiet moments before turning and loudly dragging another chair over next to hers. He sat down and crossed his hands behind his head, slumping low in the seat.

"Nice view, don't you think?"

Her eyes studied the horizon and she nodded. "It's pretty," she said slowly. "You know, the one from the Citadel, during the battle was really something to see. Sitting there, watching everything unfold in silence. Anderson and I thought we'd saved the damned day, so we sat down, exhausted, taking it in. He bled out admiring it…hell of a view though," she whispered and then took a drink.

He frowned with concern. "You okay, ma'am?"

"Steve, I'm sorry," she said sadly. "To be honest, I'm pissed off and feeling more than a little sorry for myself. Sometimes it seems I go from one kick in the ass to the next."

He nodded. "I can understand that, Shepard, you're always stuck in the middle of almost everything. That would get tough to handle, after a while. You want me to get the major? Garrus?"

She shook her head. "No, then I'd have explain why I'm sitting here getting shit-canned, and _that_, I'm not ready to do."

"Fair enough. You know, I've got a little time before I have to get back. Care if I hang out?"

She smiled, leaning low to grab another lager, offering it to him. "You know, I was picking these up for Kaidan. He's going to be a little miffed I'm drinking them all."

"How about I get us a couple of basic beers?" he replied, handing the lager back to her. "We can save these for the major."

"That works for me, but you'll need to keep up, Cortez. You're not here to babysit."

"I can handle that," he said with a grin, standing. "You good with a stout? Or do you like something pale?"

"I'm good with _alcohol_, Steve, just keep it coming."

With a nod, he walked out of the room and to the bar, ordering a few beers and sending James a quick message letting him know where he and the commander were. A minute later he returned to Shepard, taking his seat again.

"So, did you tell James where we were?" she asked.

Steve nodded and shrugged. "You said no Alenko or Garrus, but they're going to be looking for us, so, you know."

"Yeah, I know. Thanks, I don't want to worry anyone."

They sat in silence, watching as a large Turian frigate slowly maneuvered its way toward the station.

"It's amazing, isn't it? There are still so many ships limping home," Steve observed. "It'll take them a few years to reach their own system. I can't imagine that."

"Liara thinks the key to making the relay system work properly again lay within the Citadel," she replied. "It's logical, that it would be the central component of the whole system, considering it was needed to disable it. I'm just wondering how we would ever tow it back to Widow."

He pondered her comment and shrugged. "Creating something to manage deflecting debris and dust while you tow it at FTL speeds would be a hell of a trick, too. The only reasonable course of action is to repair it here, in Sol, and then fly it back to Widow, like the Reapers did when they brought it here."

She nodded and grew quiet.

"So, uh, you're not going to tell me why you're here," he began, "but, since I'm guessing it's bad news, is there anything I can do to help?"

"No, but thanks," she replied. "And it's not _bad_ news, per se, it's just an unexpected and unwelcome reality check. I somehow managed to forget I'm a cog in one big ass machine."

"You're _not_ a cog, Shepard."

"I am," she argued as he shook his head. "A well-known one, sure, and maybe even a moderately important one, but a cog all the same. Don't get me wrong, that's never been a problem before, it's never bothered me to know I'm a piece of a puzzle."

"Are you a puzzle piece or a cog?"

"I'm whatever analogy I can come up with after four beers and no food, Lieutenant."

Steve smiled. "Yes, ma'am," he chuckled. "So are you saying that it bothers you now? Being a piece of the uh, cog puzzle?"

She closed her eyes and sighed. "I'm realizing that maybe…maybe the puzzle's changed."

"Meaning you don't fit it anymore?"

She watched the horizon quietly, adjusting her legs and sipping her beer. He realized she wasn't going to answer his question and decided to change gears, hoping she'd share whatever was troubling her.

"You've got a new sling, I see. Chakwas upgraded you, huh?"

She glanced down and nodded. "She did. I'm nearly done with this whole rehab thing."

"I hear you and the major are planning on looking for his family?"

"We are," she answered. "Though, now that I've had a chance to see how bad things really are on Earth, I'm wondering how we'll ever find them." She finished off her lager and stood, keeping her hand on the back of her chair.

"It'll be a challenge, that's for certain."

"Steve, I'm thinking that as I'm still a little wobbly on my feet, it might be best if I don't actually get fall-down drunk here. Think you could handle walking back now instead?"

He stood quickly, surprised by her change in mood, but readily agreed. "Of course, Shepard, whatever you need, you know that. I'll just go tell Frances, he was putting an order together for me."

"Frances," she forced a laugh. "Whoever heard of a batarian named Frances? Wonder what Bray would think of that."

He crossed the room and slipped through the door, settling his tab with Frances, tipping the batarian extra for looking out for the commander, and arranged for his order to be delivered to the Normandy, rather than trying to carry the case himself – Shepard might need his help getting home.

Once he returned, he found her again seated and gazing out the window. He stopped next to her and offered his hand. "Ready, ma'am? Don't' forget, it's poker night."

"Right," she replied, standing and walking with him.

They left the bar and worked their way down the main drag of the station, Shepard nodding politely to the people who called out to her, even stopping twice to sign autographs. Once they reached the Normandy, she paused at the base of the ramp leading to the airlock, her gaze locked onto the ship.

"Commander?" Steve said, wondering why they'd stopped, and he waited a few feet ahead of her.

"Go ahead, Steve. I'll be a minute."

He watched her for another moment, uncertain if he should wait or not.

"Go, really. I appreciate you walking me back," she said. "And I'd appreciate it even more if you don't mention this to anyone. I get that James knows, but if you'd be discreet, and ask him to do the same, I'd be grateful."

"Yes, ma'am, no problem."

She rested her hip against the railing, her eyes still on the ship. "Thanks. I'll see you later."

Understanding her dismissal, he turned and walked up the long ramp, the sounds of the dozen or so men working on the hull filling the hangar. He glanced over his shoulder at the commander as the exterior door of the Normandy opened, his heart falling into his stomach at what he saw.

He didn't know what happened today or what it meant to the crew, but there was no denying what he'd seen in her eyes.

Shepard was lost.

**xXx**

Kate stared out of the window over her bed, watching the retrofit teams work in the scaffolding that enveloped the Normandy.

She'd lingered outside the ship for a few minutes, watching the crews at work. Steve, who'd been so good about not pressing her for information, had gone the extra mile for her, as usual. When she'd entered the ship, he'd been hovering near the airlock, and upon seeing her, he'd distracted what few crew members had been in the CIC, allowing her to get onto the elevator without any extra attention.

Now, three hours later, her buzz long gone, her mind and soul were again wrestling with what Hackett had announced today.

The roster he'd given her had included the details of the selected crewmen new orders, and despite her disgust at the entire concept, she'd been forced to admit that Hackett had done a very good job with each placement. No one had been handed a bad assignment, each of them were being placed in areas that would allow them real growth in their careers and specific expertise.

She'd be happy for them, once she was done being disappointed as hell at letting any of them go. With an angry shake of her head, she fought the tears that had been lurking since Hackett had told her. She was _not_ going to cry, damn it, and that was all there was to it.

_How the hell did this happen_?

Her own options regarding her next post were very limited. No matter how she looked at the situation, she really only had two choices. Accept the command of the Berlin, likely ending her time as an active participant in ground operations, stunting her effectiveness as a Spectre, and taking her far from Kaidan; or resign, the idea of which made her palms sweat and her heart thud inside her chest.

She groaned and rolled onto her belly, putting her face into her pillow, struggling to get a grip on her emotions.

Kaidan walked into their quarters, his long day finally done, and flopped into the chair by the desk, unlacing his boots. He didn't see her at first, and she didn't speak, but once he spotted her, he arched an eyebrow and slowly walked to their bed, where she remained face-down, spread eagle.

"Uh, Kate? You okay? Game starts in a half hour."

Her reply was muffled, her face still buried in the sheets. He grinned and leaned over. "Sorry, babe, I don't speak mattress."

She said something else, and he laughed as she rolled onto her back, gazing up at him. His smile disappeared as he recognized her upset and he sat on the side of the bed.

"What is it? What's happened?" he asked urgently, concern in his voice.

She sat up, shaking her head, not speaking as she handed him Hackett's roster. He glanced at the data pad in her hand and took it, scanning the contents quickly before getting back to his feet.

"What the hell? What is this?" he demanded. "This looks like a posting roster, Kate! Where'd this come from?"

"Hackett brought it to me," she said softly. "They gave me the Berlin. Vega's off to N7 training."

He pulled a face, shaking his head. "The Berlin? What…why? When did you see Hackett?" he asked, still reading the roster.

"Today. He sent me a last minute request; he was here for maybe a half-hour. It was to give us that," she finished, gesturing to the pad. "A _cruiser_, Kaidan. What good am I on a goddamned cruiser?"

He glanced down at her from the pad. "It doesn't make any sense!" he agreed, his eyes back on the screen. "A cruiser is way too slow to respond to critical situations, especially when compared to the Normandy! How do they expect…" he paused and then the rest of his words froze on his lips.

She stood and, standing on her tiptoes, looked over his shoulder and down at the pad. She kissed his back. "You found your orders."

"Kate," he breathed, staring at the small screen. "No. This is _wrong_."

"You outrank me, and you're a Spectre. It makes sense, and they're taking me off, no matter what," she said quietly. "Hackett made that very clear. At least, this way, I'll know she's in good hands."

"I don't want this. No!" he said fiercely. "No way I'm taking the Normandy! I told him that once already!"

"If you don't, then someone else gets this ship, Kaidan, _my_ _ship_," she explained, still holding him. "It's going to be hard enough for the crew, having so many of us shuffled around like this. If you take the command, at least that's some solace. They all think highly of you, they trust you. To be honest, your assignment is the only piece of good news on that whole damn list."

"I don't care. I won't do this to you," he seethed. "Hackett can go to hell, I will _not_ do this."

"Kaidan…"

"No! Give you the Berlin? Make me take the Normandy? We've done too much; we've worked too hard for them…no! I will not just _accept_ this," he said, his voice climbing. He turned around and looked down at her.

"Right here?" he began, gesturing between them. "_We_ matter. After everything we've given, Kate, _we_ get to count. This roster separates us, so there's no way this plan of theirs works. We're going back to Hackett."

"And telling him what? He was adamant about these changes, Kaidan. He called it a 'necessary evil'; he didn't see another way to meet the Fleet's needs. I _told_ him I didn't think I could accept the new assignment, I told him _you_ wouldn't assume command here! It didn't get me anywhere. He didn't budge."

"So, just what do we do then?" he asked, shaking his head. "How do we fix this?"

"The notes about my assignment say they want to begin my transition to broad-scale leadership. I think they're grooming me for…oh, who knows." She sighed, putting her arms around his waist and resting her cheek against his chest. "Read your own assignment details, there's a purpose to it, Kaidan, and it's big. I don't know that we _can_ fix this."

His arms wrapped her into an embrace, his chin on the top of her head. "We're going to try. We have to make this right."

"I agree, but, the fact is, they're _not_ entirely wrong," she whispered. "There're so many ships out there that have half, if not more, of their crews missing. They're in need of talented people and they have to look at the needs of the Fleet first."

"Of course they do. I see the logic, damn, I'm not even arguing with it, but our needs have to matter too, don't they? Somewhere in all this, our happiness has to count."

She sighed. "I've never had my needs conflict before, have you?"

"No, but I've never had a purpose other than to serve."

"Neither have I. But I do now," she sighed. "Where does that leave us?"

"Alright, look, we can't make the decision to accept or decline an assignment for the people who report to us. Cortez, Vega, the rest? They've got to choose what they want to do."

"Of course they do," she agreed. "And the assignments on there are pretty fantastic. It's loaded with real opportunities for each of them."

"And that's great. It's exactly what we'd have hoped for them, right? We've mentored and counseled all of them, tried to help them reach their full potential. This clearly means their hard work has paid off. They're earned these promotions and assignments."

"They have. I think once the shock wears off, most people will see the good this will do them."

"Right," he agreed, taking her hand. "Except for us, for us, this…Kate, bottom line, what's on this roster I won't comply with, it's that simple."

"What if this is final?" she asked, feeling a pang of panic bubble inside. She could sense the tension in him as well and snuggled back into his arms.

"Then maybe…maybe we resign," he finally replied, giving voice to her own horrible conclusion. "Maybe we focus on our duties as Spectres. We'd still be helping people, making a difference, we'd just be working with the Council, instead of the Alliance."

She nodded, worry on her face. "That occurred to me too, but, are we seriously considering this?"

"I don't want to resign any more than you do," he said in a tight tone. "But I think we both agree, we're staying together, right?"

"Without question, yes," she agreed quickly before she paused, letting out a frustrated sigh. "Shit."

He put his hands on her shoulders and held her gaze. "Nothing's decided yet. We'll reach out to Hackett and explain our concerns and see what he can do."

She stepped back, nodding as she did. "Right. And in the meantime, I'm nearly finished with PT and then we're focusing on your parents. Hackett doesn't expect my answer for another six weeks or so, and I'm sure you'll have as much leeway as he's given me."

"Kate, maybe I'm not being clear. I don't need time to consider my answer," he said firmly. "It's a no. I am _declining_ the command of the Normandy. Do you want the Berlin?"

"No. I'd be apart from you constantly and no matter how they dress it, it's a damned desk job."

"Then, okay, we're rejecting our new posts," he stated. "That leaves the Alliance with two choices, two standard protocols. They can offer us a second set of orders or they can offer us a chance to resign. Are you prepared to take that stand?"

She walked to the fish tank, her back to him, and ran her fingers through her hair, sighing.

"Kate?" he asked softly and she could hear the anxiety her hesitation was causing.

"I was born on the SSV Hanover," she said quietly. "Both my parents died in service. I was raised, educated, trained, mentored, encouraged, found you, hell, I even _died_, on Alliance vessels. The Alliance has been as much a parent to me as my own were."

She turned to face him, meeting his eyes as she nervously bit her lip.

"Kaidan, this is all I've ever known, the very idea of a life outside of this one is unimaginable for me. I have no idea what it's like to be a civilian, _none_. I wouldn't even know where to start!"

He tucked his hands into his pockets, his nostrils flareing. "So you lean on me, I'm no navy brat, remember? We do this together. We carve out our _own_ life, you and me. Right?"

Her eyes darted around and she scrubbed her face with her hands.

"_Right_?" he prompted, panic in his voice. "Kate?"

"No matter what Hackett says, what the Alliance decides, I want a life with you," she rasped. "But who am I without the Alliance? What if I'm awful not being 'Commander Shepard'? What then?"

"Maybe this isn't the best time," he muttered hesitantly. He walked to the desk near the bed, opening a drawer. "Or, maybe-maybe it's the perfect time," he said more confidently, turning back to her.

She stared, seeing a small black box in his hand.

"I've had this for a while," he explained, opening it to reveal a small, simple ring. "Actually, I bought it the last time we were on the Citadel, but I couldn't figure out when to give it to you, you know? I was worried you'd think I was reacting to the war, or rushing things, or that you'd think I was asking you out of fear of losing you, of what could come."

He stood directly in front of her, his eyes intense.

"Now, though, I've kind of figured out that's _exactly_ why I'm asking you to marry me," he continued with a sheepish smile. "Commander Shepard is amazing, yeah, but I've faced too many days without you – without _Kate_. That was a loneliness that nearly broke me. I went through the motions after you were gone, like my life was still going forward, but it wasn't. Even after I knew you were alive, everything was just…waiting, stuck in slow motion, waiting to for us be _us_ again. I won't live like that again, I-I can't."

"Kaidan…"

He laughed nervously. "Please tell me this is making sense, that I'm not completely messing this up. I was going to plan something better, really I…"

She threw her arm around his neck, pulling herself into his arms and kissed him.

He asked against her lips. "Is that a yes?"

She nodded quickly. "Yes, it's a yes!" she answered before pulling him into another kiss.

"Good, okay," he exhaled, cupping her face, and she saw the relief in his eyes as he smiled at her. "We'll get married and see what Hackett and the Alliance think of our answers. Then we'll go from there."

"Are you sure? Are you _really_ sure?"

"God, yes," he whispered. "Do you have any idea how much I love you? As long as it's you and me, then we'll be okay, Kate. We'll do it together, whatever comes."

"I love you too," she exhaled and then grinned. "You _do_ realize this may look like we're a couple of teenagers who ran away from home? Possibly telling the Alliance to stick it and running off to get married?"

"The Alliance will work with us, I'm sure of it," he said confidently before shrugging and smiling down at her. "And who could blame us if we _do_ run away; even it's just for a little while? We've earned the right, haven't we?"

"Damn right we have. So, when do we do this?"

"There's a chaplain near the personnel office here on the station. We could go over there, maybe we won't even have to wait. Or do you want to plan it out? Make it an event?"

"God no, not unless you do," she said quickly. "I wouldn't know where to start and if word got out, it'd be a circus. Are you good with that? Just a few of us together? Keeping it low-key? What about your parents?"

"It could take months to find my parents, Kate, and I don't want to wait," he said softly. "I think we should get married here, as soon as possible, then tell the Alliance our decision about the posts, and see what happens."

She grinned. "Okay, so we'll go get married, like tomorrow. This should cause a stir, huh?"

He kissed her slowly. "Damn the torpedoes, Shepard."

She lingered in his arms, tasting him as she felt her universe right itself. This was what she wanted – this was right.

"Hey, think Garrus will be okay with being my maid-of-honor?"

He laughed. "I have no clue. But please, ask him when I'm around, okay? I want to see his face."

_**A HUGE thanks to Lisa for her beta work! She celebrated a birthday last week! Happy Birthday, chick! Look for her work on under the author Lisakodysam.**_

_**Also, thanks to Michele for her help with checking canon and characterizations. Her work can be found here on FF, under the author Liso66.**_

_**My thanks for the alerts, the favorites and for your comments. I'm very grateful to each of you for your time and for sharing this story with me!**_


	12. One Night At Yogi's

**One Night At Yogi's**

James glanced up as the doors to the lounge opened, arching an eyebrow as the commander and major entered.

"Yo, kids! You're late!" he called from the poker table.

Everyone was gathered and the first game had already started. James, Garrus, Joker and Tali were seated at the table, Traynor looking over James's shoulder, and Javik near the large window while Liara and Cortez were at the bar.

Garrus, looking up from his hand, shook his head disapprovingly. "Shepard, look, we realize you've recently suffered a head wound, so we're all willing to make certain _allowances,_ if you're not quite your old self."

"Allowances," Kate repeated, crossing her arms. "Really? Huh. Like what?"

"You know, little things, like maybe now you'll drool when you talk, or maybe you suffer from an undeniable need to buy Hanar pornography - we _care_ Shepard, we can work with that kind of thing. But showing up late for poker night is just too much to ask us, damaged brain cells or not."

Kate smiled slowly, nodding. "You know, Garrus, you're right. I mean, a girl can only ask so much from her friends, right?"

"Exactly," the Turian agreed with a flourish of his hand. "Now, tell the class why you're late and apologize. Uh, not you, Alenko, we all know you'd have been on time if you hadn't been with Shepard. You're forgiven."

Kaidan chuckled as he settled at the bar, plucking up a bottle of the lager Steve and Shepard had brought back with them earlier.

"Actually," the sentinel began, "it's my fault we're late."

"See? Can't blame me for everything," Kate said with a smirk.

"Of _course_ we can," Tali said, shuffling her cards. "You get the big cabin, you get the blame."

"Tali, the quality of your smartass comments improves with each day you date Garrus, I'm almost impressed," Joker commented. "Pretty soon you'll even be funny."

"Shut it, hop-a-long," the Quarian replied, placing chips into the pot.

James drank his beer, gesturing to Kaidan. "Hey, go ahead, Major, tell us why you two are late."

"Oh, I was asking Shepard to marry me."

All eyes turned to Kaidan who shrugged, sipping from his lager bottle.

"What? She said yes."

"Well, hell sir! That's great news!" Cortez exclaimed with a laugh, breaking everyone's stunned silence and offering his hand to Kaidan, who grinned widely as he accepted it.

James hopped up from his seat and enthusiastically shook Kaidan's hand before grinning at Kate. "Way to go, Lola!"

Liara smiled and pulled Kate into a hug, Tali bouncing to her feet and doing the same. Traynor laughed, punching James in the shoulder, muttering 'told you' while Garrus laid his cards down on the table.

"Kaidan, it's about time you got your act together," he said slowly, his gaze locked with Kate's, who smiled softly as she was freed from the hugs of her friends. "Much longer and we'd have had to share a man-to-man about your intentions with my girl."

Kaidan chuckled and James held his beer aloft. "¡Salud! Congrats you two! Next thing you know, we'll have little Alenkos runnin' around the ship!"

Joker snorted. "Now _that's_ something fun to look forward to, a pregnant, hormonal Shepard," he teased. "Uh, yeah, Major? We're going to need you to lock up those command codes. Hackett'll be pissed if she blows up the station, especially after she blew up the Citadel."

Shepard shot the helmsman an exaggerated glare. "Hey! I did _not_ blow up the Citadel! I just…impaired it, you know, slightly."

"Whatever you say, Commander," Joker replied, then looked at Kaidan and whispered loudly. "We can work out the details later, sir! She doesn't need to know!"

"Let's not put the horse before the cart," Liara said, and then paused when the others sniggered. "What? I said that wrong, didn't I? Well, human phrases are difficult for Asari, as they often make little to no sense. Once, when I was working on a case study of Prothean…"

"Ahem…Liara," Traynor interrupted softly.

Liara stopped and nodded. "I digress. What I was going to say was, isn't it a tradition among humans for the individuals being married to have a celebration? Prior to the vows being taken, I mean."

"Hell yeah! Bachelor party, baby! Boys' night out!" James whooped, pumping his fist in the air.

"Ha-ha! Excellent point, Liara! Where you wanna go, Major?" Joker asked. "Wait," he said, holding up his hand and looking at James. "It's _Alenko_ man, if we leave it up to him, we'll end up on some tour of the Archives or something."

"The Archives are buried under about a thousand tons of rubble," Kaidan argued. "And what the heck does that mean anyway? I _know_ how to have a good time!"

"Yeah, just like Shepard _knows_ how to dance," Tali said sarcastically, her fingers making air quotations as Kate laughed loudly.

"And just like that, the apprentice eclipses the master," Joker said, looking pointedly at Garrus whose mandibles flexed as Tali giggled.

Javik crossed his arms. "If you primitives have a ritual then I would like to observe. I find the study of each species has captured my interest."

"Well, if it's in the interest of science, how can we say no?" Kaidan teased, winking at Kate.

"Listen, guys, this is a fun idea and all, but Kaidan and I are just going to go to the chaplain's office in the morning," Kate explained.

Kaidan arched an eyebrow. "Come on, that doesn't mean we can't celebrate just a little, right? We could have one group stay here and the fellas could head to Yogi's. Nothing fancy, just some beers and a night out on the town."

Kate shook her head but Tali jumped into the conversation before she could speak.

"Now wait a minute, why do the 'fellas' get the bar? Why do we have to split up?"

"Tali, its human custom for the bride and groom not to see each other before the night before the wedding," Cortez explained. "We can't go out together."

"Another demonstration of your species' foolishness, no doubt," Javik said with a frown.

Kate rolled her eyes. "First of all, it's twenty-one hundred hours, so it's already night and I'm looking right at Kaidan," she began. "Second, there's no way we're handing you guys the best bar on the station to hog all night long. If we're doing this, _we_ get Yogi's."

"Says who?" James challenged.

"Says me, I'm pulling rank," Kate replied, making a face.

"_Well_ if that's the case," Kaidan drawled, putting his arm over Kate's shoulders, who slowly turned her head to glare at him before he finished. "Then we'll be taking Yogi's."

"Oh ho! _Burn_, that's gotta burn!" James exclaimed, laughing loudly, as Joker guffawed and Cortez hid his smile. Kate shot James a dirty look and his smile fell. "Uh, no offense, ma'am."

"You really want to do that, Alenko?" Kate asked softly. "You _sure_ you wanna go that route?"

He smiled beautifully and nodded. "Yup. I sure do," he replied, grinning like a loon.

Kate met Kaidan's silly smile with a forced frosty one of her own. "You know what, ladies? I'm going to defer to the major here," she said, patting his stomach more firmly than could be called gentle. "You boys can have Yogi's."

Kaidan's smile disappeared at Kate's unexpected and easy defeat and Joker shook his head.

"Oh no, no, no," the pilot said quickly. "No way, Major, she's setting us up for something!"

Kate gasped, her hand at her chest as she spoke sweetly. "_Me_? Oh, guys, come on! Kaidan's right, he wins by rank, so why waste time arguing? The night _isn't_ that young and we're getting married in the morning. Now, you kids scoot, the gals and I will make the most of things here!" she finished cheerily, a huge grin on her face.

"_Hell no_!" James replied, returning quickly to his seat at the poker table. "No _way_ am I falling for that, Major. Nope, nada, not gonna happen. We're staying riiiiight here."

Kaidan sputtered and pointed at Kate. "Hey! Don't let her mess with your heads! We've _got_ Yogi's, guys! Garrus, help me out here! Tell them she means it!"

Garrus picked his cards back up, patently ignoring Kaidan. "Give me two, Vega," he said calmly, turning in two of his original cards.

"Garrus!" Kaidan pleaded but the sniper evaded his eyes.

"I'm with the Turian, Alenko," Joker said quickly. "I like my pancreas just where it is. Take Yogi's Shepard, really!"

Kate shrugged. "Kaidan, if your guys want to stay here, that's fine with us, isn't it, ladies?" she asked, smiling at Traynor and Liara, while Tali laughed lightly. "See? We're team players, you stay here, have a poker night or something."

"But that's what we were already doing!" Kaidan protested. "_We're going to Yogi's_!" he said adamantly, jabbing his pointed finger toward the exit as he marched to it. He left the lounge and stormed toward the elevators, leaving everyone else behind.

The doors to the lounge slid closed.

"You know, Shepard," Garrus began, "I think you may have lost this one."

Kate sighed. "Damn, he totally called my bluff," she complained. "What if we all just go together? I mean, Kaidan and I share a cabin, it's not like we'd be able to honor the whole 'don't see each other' thing anyway, right?"

"We could do that, sure," James agreed. "Or we could spread out and take sides, you know, chick side and guy side."

"Like that'll stick," Joker snorted. "We'll only end up together, we can't freakin' help ourselves. Either way, let's just get going before Alenko gets there first and gets all annoyed, am I right? I mean, make up sex on your wedding day is just wrong."

"Good point," Kate replied. "Let's get outta here."

**xXx**

Four hours and many, many beers later, the large group of friends were wrapping up at Yogi's. Pictures of them all together and out for the night began to surface on a few of the trashier gossip sites on the extranet. Traynor's omni-tool was chiming routinely as notifications of stories related to the crew hit the web.

"When did you set up alerts?" Kate asked the specialist.

"Actually, I initially created a program that would catch stories that were Normandy centered. I liked the idea of being able to look back at things, sort of like a scrapbook," the younger woman replied. "But once I started going through them, I realized how much of it was just crap, you know?"

"It's _all_ crap," Garrus commented. "Never once did it get noted I'm a better shot than Shepard."

"Yes," Kate replied with a giggle. "I've got _no_ idea how anyone could have missed the chance to write about the king of the bottle shooters. That's award winning stuff."

Traynor rolled her eyes. "_Anyway_, as I was saying, to cut down on the rubbish, I applied an algorithm that identified the content of the stories, separating them for me. After that, it let me set an alert for when gossip stories spike, like we've just seen."

"Right, so how about we head back to the ship, Shepard," Kaidan sighed, standing from the table and going to the bar.

Kate nodded. "Sure," she replied before looking at her friends. "Now, changing the subject completely, I have a question for you guys."

"Shit," Garrus sighed.

"Damn right, shit," Joker repeated. "Here we go."

Kate snorted. "You say 'shit' because I have a question?"

"No, I said shit because you felt the need _tell_ us you've got a question," the Turian explained. "Which means it's something we're not going to be excited about. Hence my saying 'shit'."

"Seriously? You've got no clue what I'm going to ask!"

Traynor and Liara laughed and the Asari smiled. "He's got you there, Shepard. You rarely preface anything unless it's something bad."

"That's not true! It's a question! A single, little, itty-bitty question," Kate argued with a grin but then noticed Traynor studying a pair of human men near the bar and interrupted herself. "Traynor, you okay?"

"I'd swear those blokes over there are taking pictures of the major at the bar," the specialist replied slowly, her eyes not leaving the men. "I'd noticed them earlier, I'd thought I'd seen one of their omni-tools trained on us but…now that I'm watching them, yes, I think they're taking pictures."

"Who?" Liara asked, turning the way Traynor gestured and noticing that Kaidan was returning from the bar. She arched an eyebrow, seeing the men. "I think you're right."

"You guys are an expensive date, you know that?" Kaidan asked as he rejoined the group. "If Hackett knew the crew of the Normandy was such a bunch of lushes, we'd all be court-martialed."

"I prefer the term _dedicated_ _consumer_, over lush, thank you," Garrus replied.

"Which two?" James asked, his eyes roving the bar. "Where?"

"Which two what?" Kaidan queried, picking up his near-empty lager. "What are we talking about?"

"Samantha believes those men are taking our photographs," Liara explained. "They had their omni-tools lit and she feels they were taking your image while you were at the bar."

Kaidan frowned. "Guess that would explain your alerts, wouldn't it? Come on, Shepard, we're all paid up, let's get out of here. It's getting late anyway."

"Now wait a minute, Major," James said, holding his hand up. "_They're_ the problem, I don't see why we need to leave. It's them that should pack sand, not us. I'll send them on their way."

"Uh, James, that's really not the best idea," Kate said quickly. "If they're here to follow us, confronting them will just make their story. It's best to just go."

Traynor's omni-tool beeped again and she cursed softly as she read the notice.

"What is it?" Liara asked, leaning over her date's shoulder and frowning as she read the alert as well. "_Goddess_."

Garrus's mandibles flexed. "You ladies going to share with us the good news you're clearly enjoying?"

Traynor looked up, her lips in a tight line. "A picture of the major just hit three sites, he's at the bar, paying. The headlines vary, but the kindest one says "Is this how Kaidan gets Kate into bed?" There are also a few shots of you two together."

"Ouch," Joker whispered, pulling a face.

"Of all the stupid things," Kate said softly, her eyes on the two men in question. "_Assholes_."

Garrus studied the picture. "That shot's only a few minutes old, which means Traynor's right."

Kaidan's movements were stiff as he put his lager down. "Let's go."

Kate looked concerned and quickly stood. "We'll see everyone back at the Normandy. Don't stay up too late, we're heading to the chaplain at zero nine hundred hours."

"Screw this shit, this is _wrong_! You saved the galaxy! Those _culeros_ over there should show a little more respect!" James thundered and pushed his way through the crowd, making his way toward the two men.

Kaidan shook his head. "Damn it," he cursed and stood to go after James, but Cortez stopped him.

"Let me, sir," he offered. "We don't want to give them a chance to twist the situation and if you're there…"

Kaidan nodded and met Steve's eyes. "Right. Thanks."

"Sit tight, okay? I'll go rein in our favorite hot head," the shuttle pilot said with a smile, leaving the table.

Garrus crossed his arms. "James has a point. This kind of crap gets under your skin, Kaidan, hell, it gets under mine! Maybe he's not wrong, maybe we should go shut those assholes down."

"They'll only egg you on and create a situation they can blow way out of proportion," Kate replied. "There's no good way to handle those shitheads, they've got too many idiots that want to read trash as subscribers."

"I hate it, but she's right, Garrus," Kaidan agreed with a frown. "I've dealt with their kind before. It only escalates the situation."

"Uh, well, be that as it may, James isn't all too concerned about that," Traynor said, pointing to the bar. "I _don't_ think Steve got there in time."

James and one of the men were having a very heated discussion, while Cortez was fully occupied blocking the man's partner from documenting the whole thing.

"Shit," Garrus grumbled, getting to his feet. "Where's Wrex when you need him?"

Liara tapped her omni-tool and whispered into Tali's ear, who quickly lit her own omni-tool and rapidly issued several commands.

"I've got it," the Quarian said and Liara scanned her friend's omni-tool.

"Good, thanks," the Asari replied and then closed her tool. "I've just sent Glyph their omni-tool's IP codes. They won't be able to transmit anything else, he's locking them down now."

"Great, because we'd better get over there," Kaidan said as the others stood. "They're near blows."

"Unless someone wants to hear bones cracking, I'll stay here and keep an eye on our drinks," Joker called from behind them as the group walked to the bar. "But you kids have fun!"

"Chill out, man, we just want to know why you're taking our picture, okay?" James was saying as Steve stood firmly by his side. "We're celebrating and now here's a bunch of shit on the extranet, so we're thinking you two have something to do with that! What's up?"

"She looks like Commander Shepard, is all, so I took a picture, okay?" the man, who was tall and very skinny, answered quickly. "Who cares? That's not against the law!"

"You don't think that's a little bit rude, though? Taking someone's picture without asking first?" Steve asked, shoulder to shoulder with James.

"You _need_ to get the hell out of my space, Vega," hissed the man, his tone hard. "We're _allowed_ to take a goddamn picture. Lay the fuck off."

James snorted. "Vega?" he repeated with a laugh. "What, do we know each other? 'Cause I sure as hell don't recognize _you_!" he declared, looking at Cortez. "Steve, you know this guy?"

"Nope, never seen him before," Cortez answered, crossing his arms. He locked eyes with the man's partner, a much bigger man who looked ready to spit nails. "Why don't you two just purge those picture files and head out? This isn't worth the trouble."

"We didn't start any damned trouble, it's you two douche bags that approached us!" snapped the big man, sticking his face into Cortez's. "So mind your own fucking business and get outta here!"

"James," Garrus said as he and the others arrived at the scene. "Why don't you introduce us to your new friends?"

"_Shit_, it's _all_ of them," muttered the skinny man to the other. "Fine! Just give them the file."

"Fuck 'em! I sent it! You can pussy out, but I'm getting paid!"

"No, you didn't, and no, you're not. We've got your omni-tools blocked for now," Tali explained.

"Bitch!" snarled the large man and Garrus shoved him hard against the bar.

"You'd best be careful who you call a bitch, _bitch_," the Turian hissed.

Kaidan put himself between James and the men. "Let's just calm down for a minute. We're not after any trouble."

Tali wrapped her hand around Garrus's elbow and gently tugged him away from the man who'd insulted her.

"Major, I'm, ah, glad you're here," began the skinny man, offering his hand and a false smile. Kaidan tucked his hands in his pockets. "Uh, anyway, I'm Gerald and this is my partner, Carl. I think we've got a bit of a misunderstanding."

Gerald's eyes darted to Kaidan's left and he spotted Kate at Kaidan's elbow.

"Wow! Commander Shepard," he breathed. "Look, uh, we're not trying to bother anyone. We just took a couple of shots, that's all. We're fans," he explained hastily, glancing at his partner, Carl. "_Aren't we_?"

Kate nodded. "Fans, huh? That's great, thanks. Are you sharing the pictures with anyone?"

"We've got a right to make a living!" barked Carl. "Who the hell are you to say anything about it?"

Kaidan stepped close, his eyes narrowed. "She's the reason you're alive and worried about getting paid at all. _Watch your tone_."

Carl jutted his chin in the air and pushed up to Kaidan. "She's _also_ the reason most of my family's dead," he spat. He looked at each of them slowly, hate in his eyes. "Turned tail and ran when the Reapers hit Earth, didn't you? A bunch of _real_ heroes. Now this Quarian cunt is blocking my…"

"That's it!" Garrus shouted, drawing back a fist, but Carl swung wildly first, missing Garrus and catching Tali squarely in the side of her mask, knocking her back against Liara who caught her stunned friend.

Garrus and Kaidan lunged forward together, James piling in behind them as Javik yelled a battle cry. The whole crowd suddenly seemed to be involved, and fists, bottles and glasses were flying unchecked. Kaidan, James, Garrus and Javik disappeared into the thick of the fray, Liara right behind them.

Traynor scrambled up onto the top of the bar, calling encouragement to them all while simultaneously avoiding being knocked off, while Kate checked on Tali.

Gerald squeezed his way free of the pile-on and Steve grabbed his collar. "No you don't!"

Chaos surrounded them as the reporter pleaded. "Hey! I didn't want this! Here, take the damn thing!" he cried, handing over his omni-tool to Cortez.

"Thanks," Cortez replied. "But you're not going _anywhere_, buddy!"

Kate, who was trying to fight and protect her healing arm at the same time, caught a punch to her mouth, blood sputtering as she ducked to miss another blow. Kaidan was suddenly at her side, grabbing her around her waist as she was kicking the man who'd struck her.

The man, a young warrant officer, looked horrified. "Commander! I'm sorry! I didn't know it was you!" he explained before he was pulled back into the fight. "Shit! Who are we supposed to be fighting?"

"Those guys!" Traynor shouted to the man, pointing out the reporters.

Kate struggled against Kaidan as he dragged her back, not realizing it was him, her feet swinging wildly. "Hey!"

"Babe, stop it!" Kaidan yelled. "You can't fight! Your arm!"

"Screw my arm!" she hollered but allowed him to pull her back toward their table, which was now flipped over, Joker seated on the other side, beer in hand. Kaidan plunked her down next to the pilot and ran back to the skirmish.

"Hey, Commander!" Joker said cheerily. "Déjà vu, huh, hiding behind a table together? Except this time, less explosions! Beer?"

The pilot held a beer out to Kate who stared at the offered bottle and then shrugged, taking it. "No fish this time either," she added.

"We really can't take you anywhere, can we?"

"Ha! James owns this one."

A loud bang echoed through the bar and instantly everyone stilled. Joker and Kate both peeked around the edge of the table, seeing Frances standing on the bar, a large assault weapon in hand.

"Knock it off!" he roared, swinging the firearm left and right. "You assholes stop this right now or I'll start pumping your asses full of rounds!"

At that moment, station security burst into the bar and the Batarian greeted them.

"It's about damned time!" Frances shouted and then pointed to the center of the bar, where the paparazzos were flat on the floor. "Arrest those tools! Get 'em out of here!"

The sergeant in charge of the security team looked at the situation and began to direct her men. Kate got to her feet and offered a hand up to Joker; together, they approached the group.

"Major Alenko? Commander…Commander _Shepard_?" the sergeant stammered, realizing who was involved and muttering 'shit' under her breath before she cleared her throat. "What the hell?" she sighed, and then spied Frances on the bar. "Frances, put the dang gun away."

The batarian laid down his rifle as Carl, his face bloodied, his shirt torn, stumbled forward.

"I want to press charges! Arrest these people! They attacked me for no reason!"

There were several shouts of protest, a majority of the people in the crowd yelling their contempt for Carl and Gerald.

"Hold it! Just, hold it!" the sergeant hollered. She looked at the destroyed bar, the overturned tables, broken chairs and then began to count the number of individuals with injuries. When her eyes fell on Kate and her bloodied lip, she looked to Kaidan, his uniform torn, his nose bleeding, and sighed.

She turned to Kaidan as he was the ranking officer in the room. "Sir, my name is Sergeant Holliday and I'm the officer-on-duty tonight. Would you please explain to me what's occurred here?"

"Wait a damned minute!" Carl protested. "I'm the victim and he's one of the perpetrators! Why don't you try asking me what happened?"

Sergeant Holliday resolutely ignored the man and waited for Kaidan's answer.

The major wiped the blood from his nose, which was clearly broken, and nodded. "Sergeant, this individual struck this Quarian and her friend defended her. She's a member of the Normandy's crew."

"Madina?" Holliday said, calling one of her team over. "Get the major some medi-gel for his nose," she ordered and then turned her attention back to Kaidan's reply. "And why is it that he struck her?"

"Because the stupid bitch tampered with my omni-tool!" Carl yelled.

"What did I tell you about watching your mouth?" Garrus snapped, shoving Carl roughly.

"Sir, you will restrain yourself and not touch him or anyone again," Holliday ordered, her tone firm.

Immediately people began yelling answers to the sergeant and she was forced to hold her hands up, demanding quiet. "Everyone will be quiet unless I'm asking them a specific question!" she ordered.

"That guy was messin' with the commander and her crew, ma'am!" called out the young warrant officer who'd accidentally punched Kate earlier. "He hit their friend! I saw him!"

"That was an accident!" Gerald defended Carl. "This is all a big misunderstanding!"

"No it's not," Frances called from his perch on his bar. "It's a big mess, that's what it is! You're paying for this, you pyjak!"

"Listen, Sergeant," Gerald began. "We're reporters with The Daily Update and we were just taking a few pictures of the famous commander and her crew here, that's all. We've got our credentials."

"Is this true?" she asked Kaidan.

"I don't know," Kaidan replied. "They never bothered to explain who they were and they lied when we asked them what they were doing. We asked them to stop and that's when the big guy hit Tali."

"The hell I did!"

Holliday looked at Kate. "Commander, is that what happened?"

"It is," Kate replied. "He struck our crewmate, Tali' Zora vas Normandy."

"Do you know why, ma'am?" the sergeant asked. "Is it correct that she tampered with his omni-tool?"

"Well, yes," Kate began, "but..."

"Are you all aware that tampering with someone's omni-tool is a crime?"

Kaidan frowned. "We all stepped up to defend our crewmate, Sergeant, like any other marine would do."

"Damn straight, Major!" yelled a man in the crowd and again there were several call of support for the crew of the Normandy.

"My omni-tool is destroyed! Look at this!" Carl yelled, holding up the miniscule hand piece which was now in multiple tattered pieces. "They've beaten me and my colleague, smashed my personal property and threatened us!"

"We asked you to stop," James argued. "You _should_ have listened and shown some respect for those who serve!" he chastised, the soldiers and marines around him adding their support.

"Alright! That's enough!" Sergeant Holliday barked. "This is too complicated to sort out here," she said, gesturing to her detail. "It's apparent that we've got several arrests to make, but let's start with you two," she finished, approaching Carl and Gerald.

"Fuck no!" Carl shouted but a security agent restrained him.

"What? I didn't start it!" Gerald argued. "That big guy, Vega, he came over and started threatening us! And that one," he pointed at Cortez, "grabbed my hand, tried to restrain me!"

"That's _not_ exactly how it happened, buddy," Cortez replied, crossing his arms.

"Did you grab him, sir?" Holliday queried.

"Well, yeah, but…"

"Then you'll be coming with us, Lieutenant," Holliday replied. "Sorry."

Kaidan shook his head. "Now wait a minute there, Sergeant!" he began but the large crowd of people drowned out his complaint.

"Hey!" Frances yelled out, trying to subdue the patrons again but their arguing about who started what, why and how rapidly grew out of hand and a moment later, the brawl was started anew.

As quickly as it started, it ended, but not before the sergeant's own nose was bloodied and her temper lost.

"That's it!" she shrieked, her hair askew. "Take those two in! And the lieutenants too! And the Quarian! And anyone else who opens their damn mouths!"

"Sergeant," Kate began in the most judicious tone she could muster. "We're happy to answer any of your questions and I'll personally ensure that Frances is paid for his losses, but our party isn't at fault here…"

"What part of _anyone_ else didn't you hear? You _aren't_ above the law, Commander!" Holliday hissed. "Your crew _clearly_ provoked the situation and look at this bar! And my nose! They're all going in! Argue with me and you can go too!"

"Excuse me_, Sergeant_? Is that a threat?" Kate demanded, her hackles up at the woman's tone. Kaidan put a hand on Kate's shoulder, but she shrugged him off. "You'll _want_ to remember who you're talking to before you open your mouth again. Who's your superior?"

Holliday put her finger in Kate's face. "You'll find out when you're processed, _ma'am_," she said. She looked at her aide. "Arrest them all, Normandy and those two asshole reporters!"

A few minutes later, the bar was emptied, the security detail leading their prisoners out, single-file. Joker quietly hobbled and maneuvered his way over to Frances through the debris field.

"Hey, Frances," he began, leaning against the bar. "Good times, am I right? Shepard meant what she said, she'll make good. You'll be up and open again in no time."

"I know it, she's good people," the batarian grumbled. "I can't believe that sergeant took them all in. She must not like her career very much."

Joker pushed off of the bar, walking slowly toward the exit. "You got that right. Night, man! Sorry about all this!"

"Where're you going?"

Joker looked over his shoulder as he left the bar. "Somebody's got to bail their asses out."

**xXx**

They were all seated in a large holding tank, Kaidan's nose bandaged, and every single one of them pressing a bag of ice on some bruise or cut.

Kate lowered her ice bag from her very swollen lip. "You knowb," she said, her words muddled from the swelling. "This ibn't exacbly how I saw the nibt going."

Javik, whose ice was balanced on the top of his wide head, groaned. "Why do I continue to go out with you people?"

Garrus laughed. "Hey, Shepard," he began as he nursed a black eye. "Say 'Sally sells seashells by the seashore'. Please? Laughter heals all pain."

Kate winced as she smiled. "Sure. Fub you."

James snorted loudly, holding his ice against his left cheek. "You okay there, Major?"

Kaidan grinned and nodded. "I'm good," he replied. "Shepard, to be honest, somehow the night seems oddly on par for us."

"Yeah, but the last time anyone faced jail was when Grunt stole that C-Sec officer's car," Cortez laughed, his ice bag placed on his right hand. "You remember that?"

"Remember? I lobe that idiot," Kate giggled. "That car wab one big ball ob fire."

"Wonder how long it will take him and Wrex to reach Tuchanka on FTL," Cortez pondered. "They left right after the battle ended, barely relayed their departure with Hackett."

"Is it odd that I miss Wrex?" Liara asked, smiling.

"No," Traynor replied. She held a bag of ice on her knee. "Next time there's a bar fight, I think I'll stay _behind_ the bar instead."

"Well, your words of encouragement meant a lot, Samantha," Liara said tenderly, placing a quick kiss on Traynor's lips.

"You okay?" Garrus asked Tali, taking her hand in his.

The Quarian nodded, her ice on her shoulder. "The seal on my suit self-repaired when we were still in the bar, and there's nothing a heavy dose of antibiotics can't cure."

Kate, who was seated next to Kaidan, rested her head on his shoulder. "Jub so it's said, you guys are amazing. Thanks for sticking ub for us."

Kaidan chuckled at her garbled pronunciation and she poked him in the ribs. He grinned and put his arm around her shoulders, placing a kiss on top of her head.

"She's right, guys, thanks for sticking up for us," he said, looking at each of them. "We're lucky to have you. We couldn't ask for better friends."

Cortez cleared his throat. "You know, I was planning to offer a toast earlier, you know, _before_ we were all arrested," he joked. "These ice bags aren't quite the cold beer I'd expected to be holding, but the sentiment is the same."

Kate and Kaidan smiled as Cortez gathered his words.

"I remember my wedding day," he began slowly. "But as fantastic as it was, I realize now that day was the culmination of something everyone hopes for…and misses when it's lost. Being loved by Robert was my greatest accomplishment, and being worthy of it, my greatest desire," he paused, drawing a breath and wiping his eyes.

He held his ice bag up and the others quietly laughed but did the same.

"To Kate and Kaidan," he rasped. "May your desire to be each other's greatest accomplishment never waver and your life together long."

Kaidan's nostrils flared and Kate shimmied over to Cortez to kiss him on the cheek.

"Nice man, real nice," James said solemnly, his eyes shining.

"Cheers," the others added, Traynor wiping a tear away and Garrus sniffing loudly.

"Damn, it's dusty in here," James chuckled. "Isn't it?"

The door to the holding cell suddenly buzzed and then slid open. Joker appeared at the threshold.

"Damn, you guys look like shit!" the pilot announced. "You'd think you'd fought a Reaper or something, not two weak-ass reporters."

"Says the man who hid behind a table the whole fight," Tali commented.

"Hey, _somebody_ had to be around after," he replied. "Who do you think bailed you out?"

"Adams," they replied collectively.

Joker frowned. "Okay, yeah, you're right. But _somebody_ had to go get him," he said. "I couldn't have done that if my femurs were snapped in two, now could I?"

"Are we goob, Joker?" Kate asked the pilot as she grabbed Kaidan's offered hand and he pulled her to her feet.

"Nice lip. Yeah, Adams is signing the paperwork right now," Joker replied. "_And _I took the liberty of messaging the chaplain's office and letting them know you're coming. Figured with all the added attention this fantastic evening of ours is sure to bring, you two crazy kids better get this over with."

Kate paused and sighed, pointing to her lips. "This shoulb make vows fub."

Kaidan grinned. "Guess I can't really kiss the bride, can I?"

"Not unless you want her to punch you in the head," Garrus quipped as Kate flipped him the bird. "You know, Shepard, you've got quite the potty mouth. You may want to address that."

**xXx**

The chaplain finished the charge of vows and closed his Bible. He smiled at the couple, their BDUs rumpled, and their love for one another obvious.

"By the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife," he declared. "You may kiss your bride…but carefully, son, _very_ carefully."

Their friends cheered as Kaidan slowly placed a gentle kiss on Kate's upper lip and she giggled, throwing her arm around his neck, holding him close. "I lobe you," she whispered into his ear.

"And I love you," he replied.

The chaplain's aide came forward and Kate and Kaidan quickly signed their license, making their marriage official. Garrus and Liara signed as witnesses. The aide then called to the others.

"Let's get a picture, shall we?" she asked kindly, gesturing for everyone to come to the small podium the chaplain had been standing at a moment earlier.

"That's one for the memory logs," the chaplain grinned. "I can't say I've ever had a wedding party quite as, uh, colorful as yours!"

"I'd hope not," Garrus joked. "We're a special sort of fun."

James grinned, clapping Garrus on the shoulder. "They broke the mold when they made us!"

"Darn right they did," Cortez agreed.

"Cobe on guys, just like last tibe," Kate said as everyone chose their places, referring to the group picture they'd taken the night of Kate's party on the Citadel.

They all filed in together, shoulder to shoulder, arm in arm. Kate and Kaidan were in the middle, their eyes locked, his arm around her waist. Joker shimmied his way in to stand next to Kate, drawing a scowl from Garrus, which the pilot laughed at as Tali hugged the Turian close. James, Cortez and Adams surrounded Liara and Traynor, Liara's head on Traynor's shoulder.

Together, black eyes, bloodied noses, swollen lips and torn clothes, the friends beamed for the camera and the aide took the picture. She immediately transmitted it to Kaidan's omni-tool.

"Thanks," he said, quickly tapping away at his screen. "There, I just posted it online anonymously."

Kate gaped. "Waib, what?" she asked in surprise.

James shook his head. "Sir? Why would you…"

"Because," Liara began, "if it's anonymous then there isn't a profit to be made. It can be reposted by everyone and anyone."

Kaidan nodded. "Exactly. And now those jerks in the bar won't be able to sell whatever other pics they've got for nearly as much. It's anti-climactic when the wedding picture trumps anything else."

"Smart" Kate declared. "I'm married to a bery smart man."

"Not bad, Major!" Cortez agreed.

"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm beat," Garrus said. "And no, no pun intended. Is everyone ready to start back?"

Kaidan paid the chaplain and together he, Kate and the others headed out into the station. Walking through the main terminal, they earned several stares, but they soon arrived back at the hangar bay of the Normandy.

Just as the airlock opened, Kaidan scooped Kate up into his arms to the cheers and cat-calls of the others, carrying her over the threshold of the ship.

"Come on, _Mrs_. _Alenko_, let's get to bed."

"I can't get there fast enough, _Mr. Shepard_."

_**Thank you to Lisa for giving this chapter a very careful beta, her brilliant suggestion on the end, and for applying her multi-lingual talents, ALL after a double shift, making for a VERY long day and me a grateful author. **_

_**Thank you to Liso66 for her help with characterizations and Kate's fat lip! Both of you are FANTASTIC!**_

_**I can't tell you all how much I appreciate all the alerts and reviews for this story. It is such a huge source of motivation to get them and I truly thank each of you!**_


	13. Her Mother's Daughter

**Her Mother's Daugher**

Kaidan sat down heavily into the chair by his desk, sighing as he closed his eyes and tried to focus on keeping his blossoming headache under control. He'd dimmed the cabin lights and reclined his head, determined to manage the pain with his breathing exercises. In his lap was a data pad and on it, the true source of his hovering migraine, an email from a lance corporal who was in his father's unit back on Earth.

He heard the quiet whoosh of their cabin door opening, followed by Kate's soft footsteps and the light of the cabin turning back on.

"Hey," she said as she spotted him. She gasped. "Oh shit, I'm sorry!" she said quickly as she recognized the pain on his features. She immediately dimmed the lights again.

"It's not too bad yet," he rasped, not opening his eyes as he drew his breath slowly. "I'm ahead of it still." He sensed her hovering close and then felt her lips press gently to his brow. "That always helps," he said softly.

"Can I do anything? Should I call Chakwas?"

He grunted. "No."

"Okay," she replied quietly. She ran her fingers gently through his thick hair and he sensed her moving behind him. Her fingers pressed firmly against a few key pressure points, something he'd shown her back when they'd been on the first Normandy together, and she silently massaged his scalp and neck.

"Good thing I got out of that sling, huh?" she whispered. "Do you need me to be quiet, babe?"

"No," he replied after a moment. "You can talk."

It had been four days since they'd married. Kate had been freed from her sling yesterday. She was completing a series of strengthening programs for Dr. Chakwas before she would be released from her medical hold, but she was expected to be finished in just a few more days.

Then they'd head to Canada, something, now that he'd received the email, he felt couldn't happen soon enough.

"Why the headache? Do you think it's from the fight the other night? You _did_ break your nose."

He held up the data pad. "No, it's not that. Read the message from Lance Corporal Orlando."

"Lance Corporal Orlando…" she repeated, taking the pad in one hand, while her other continued his massage. He opened his eyes slightly and watched her face as she read the email. "What is this? This says he needs to speak to you about your father."

"I replied and asked him to be more specific but he didn't really give me any other details in his second note," he explained. "Only that he didn't want to talk via extranet and would only share more in person."

She walked over to the fish tank, using the soft light as she scrolled through the conversation thread.

"_Sir, I don't wish to create a record and will only share what I know in a private setting. Can you come to Vancouver?" _she read aloud. "This is rather…cryptic, don't you think?"

"It is," he answered, closing his eyes. "But I've checked him out, he's got a good record, both in and out of the service, and he _is_ in my dad's unit. I don't like the secrecy but this is the first possible lead I've had on my parents. I can't ignore this."

"Of course not, but what could he possibly have to say that makes him want to avoid proof he spoke with you? I mean, assuming that's what he meant," she wondered, her brow furrowed. "Could I have Liara check this kid out?"

"Yeah," he breathed, his head throbbing. "That's probably a good idea. But regardless of what she finds, I'm going to Vancouver."

"_We_," she corrected. "_We're_ going to Vancouver."

He sat forward slowly, rubbing his eyes. "Right," he agreed. He turned his head slightly and tried to smile. "How did your talk with Hackett go?"

"Nearly as 'good' as yours did," she replied, keeping her voice low. "He was sincere in his congratulations, but he's not happy with us. He did a decent job of not losing his temper, I'll give him that."

"He's a good man. I got the sense he understands our stance on a personal level, but figured we'd come around," he observed. "This has got to be creating a hell of a mess for Command, and he's not used to you saying 'no' any more than he's familiar with hearing it from me."

"Well, he _did_ say he isn't giving up on us," she added. "Though he made it clear that the chances of us serving on the same ship are less than zero, married or not. I don't see how this will work out."

He nodded but didn't reply.

"Tell you what," she began, tapping the data pad against her leg. "I'll take this down to Liara and check this guy out. You get some sleep and James and I will handle things for a while."

"You're supposed to be on medical leave, Kate."

She rolled her eyes. "That's what you keep telling me. Get some sleep, I'll check on you in a while."

**xXx**

A few hours later, Liara came to find Kate in the cockpit, where she'd been visiting with Joker.

"Shepard, Joker," she said as she entered the area, gesturing for Kate to remain seated. "Please, do not bother getting up, there is little to report. The man who sent Kaidan the email is who he said he was and there is absolutely nothing unusual about him. I have no concerns; feel comfortable to meet with him as he requested."

Joker arched an eyebrow. "What's up?"

Kate shook her head. "Nothing really, just an email Kaidan got that implied someone may have some intel on his father. I asked Liara to make sure the person who sent it was legit."

"Is it a good lead?" the pilot inquired.

Kate shrugged. "I've got no idea, his email was pretty vague."

"And deliberately so, hence my checking up on him," Liara added. She turned and walked back to the cockpit door. "Tell Kaidan I've still got feelers out, but my recommendation is to speak with this person as soon as you can. Fresh information is the key to maintaining any investigation – don't wait too long to meet with him."

Kate offered a small smile. "Yes ma'am, will do. In fact, I'll go see if Chakwas is in the mood to get some extra PT in on my elbow and see if I can move these last steps along."

She pulled herself up from the deep well of the co-pilot's chair and joined Liara at the exit.

"Thanks for the update, Joker. Let me know what you think of that diagnostic report Adams sent up; we need to make some final decisions on those updates he's talking about."

"Will do. See ya, Commander!"

Liara and Kate walked through the CIC and once at the elevator, Kate reached out and tapped the call button.

"So," Liara began, crossing her arms and arching an eyebrow. "How's married life?"

Kate grinned. "It's good."

Liara matched her smile with one of her own. "It must be. Have you two decided who will take whose name yet?"

"We're going to go traditional."

"Meaning?"

"I'm going to hyphenate mine. Kaidan was fine with taking Shepard, but I hate the idea."

Liara pulled a face. The elevator arrived and they stepped in together. "Why's that?"

"Because he's worked hard and has a strong career and record, one that shouldn't get lost in the mix, you know? He's already being referred to as 'Shepard's husband' in the media. Besides, I like the way it sounds."

"Commander Shepard-Alenko," Liara said slowly. "Yes. It does have a nice ring to it." The doors slid open as they arrived at the crew deck. "Even though we both know you won't be using that title for much longer," she finished, eyeing her friend.

A young ensign stood waiting to enter the elevator and Kate smiled at her. "Sorry Riojas, excuse us just one second," she said to the confused woman as she tapped the console and closed the elevator doors once more.

She crossed her arms and faced the Asari. "Really? Again? You've been in the files _again_?"

Liara shrugged. "Actually, no, not this time. But I do know of the plans the Alliance has laid out for you and Kaidan. I don't see either of you agreeing to it and we both know you'll have to resign if you intend to stay together."

"We're trying to work something out with Hackett."

"'Something' as in a compromise in the assignments? I don't need to be the Shadow Broker to know that's not likely, Shepard, there aren't that many options to choose from."

"Crew placements change all the time, Liara, in a few weeks there could be a whole different list of assignment slots available."

"They intend to begin elevating you to a broader leadership role, and they want Kaidan as an operative, essentially filling the gap moving you up will create," Liara pointed out. "Unless Hackett and the rest of the admiralty intend to compromise on their goals for you both…"

"They don't," Kate said quickly, cutting her off. "At least, not that they've said."

"Then my previous comment holds true. You won't be using the title for too much longer."

Kate nodded and sighed. "Probably not," she said softly. "Listen, we're not making anything official, not yet anyway. But you're right, there's a good chance that when Kaidan and I leave for Canada that we won't be coming back. The crew can't know that, not until Hackett green lights it."

"I understand," Liara replied. "I wasn't trying to upset you, Shepard, I just wanted you to know I am aware of the Alliance's plans. This must be hard for you both and I needed you to know I'm here."

Kate swallowed. "Yes, it's hard," she whispered. "Thanks, Liara," she said in a stronger voice and pressed the console on the wall, opening the doors and leaving for the Med Bay.

**xXx**

Three more days passed and Kate was seated in the Med Bay with Kaidan and Dr. Chakwas. The doctor had finished most of Kate's medical evaluation and was completing the last few steps in clearing the commander from her medical leave.

Kate leaned forward, placing her chin in the small cup of the ocular scanner and the doctor aligned the machine as Kaidan used Chakwas's desk to finish up the last of the paperwork he and Kate would need to submit to initiate their leave for their trip to Earth.

"Hold still, Commander," Chakwas ordered as she began the scans of Kate's eyes. She watched the read-out and nodded. "Your implant's output looks steady and accurate, Shepard. They really did a remarkable job matching it with your natural eye. Are you still experiencing halos or distortion in your vision?"

"No," Kate replied, trying not to move too much as she did. "That's been much better."

"How long since the last event?"

"Uh, two weeks, I guess. It's fine, no problems."

Kaidan looked up from the computer at the desk. "She's still getting headaches, Doc."

"Tattletale," Kate replied, to which Kaidan chuckled.

"He shouldn't be the one to tell me," Chakwas chastised. "On a pain scale of one to ten, ten being unbearable, will you rate them for me?" she asked as she completed the ocular assessment and pulled the machine aside.

Kate sat back and shrugged. "Ah, three? They're not bad."

"Do you get them often?"

"Not at all, at least, not like I used to," Kate answered. "Mostly when I'm tired or if I've been reading a lot."

Chakwas nodded. "That makes sense. You did have two major cranial surgeries and you're still adjusting to the extensive hardware that connects your cybernetic eye. The headaches should continue to decrease in frequency and should _not_ increase in intensity. If they do, you need to tell me – _not_ Major Alenko."

"Yes ma'am," Kate replied with a slight nod. "Anything else?"

Chakwas sighed and crossed her arms. "I renew my concern about you traipsing across the valleys and hills of the Rocky Mountains."

"Noted."

Kaidan's fingers stilled over the console keyboard. "Wait, I thought you were okay with her traveling? If not, if you don't think she's ready, then she'll stay here."

"Ah, no I won't," Kate said quickly. "You're my husband, not my dad. You can't tell me to stay here."

Kaidan's lips drew into a firm line. "Shepard, listen to me…"

"Hold it! Just a moment," Chakwas interrupted, waving her hands. "My concerns are not medical, Major. It's simply that I don't like the idea of either of you hiking off into the wilderness with your destination unknown. It a dangerous endeavor under normal circumstances, and I think we can all agree that circumstances are far from normal on Earth, or anywhere else. There's a level of unknown there and you both have me worried."

Kate remained quiet, her eyes meeting Kaidan's brown ones. The biotic leaned back in his chair, his hands folded behind his head.

"I can't argue that with you, Doc, but we're running out of options," he finally said. "Would it help you feel better if I explained that I'm taking every possible precaution that I can? That I've planned this extensively? You know I'm familiar with the area. I've had a lot of time in those woods, I'm well-versed in what to expect out there."

Chakwas frowned. "I'm aware, Major," she replied. "And I trust you to be thorough in your precautions, but I wouldn't be a good doctor _or_ friend if I didn't at least mention my feelings on the subject."

"Thanks, Karin," Kate said sincerely. "We'll be okay."

The doctor nodded and stepped back from the exam table Kate was seated on. "Then I suppose, Commander, that you're free to go."

Kate beamed. "I am? Really? I'm finished? No more tests? No more shots? I'm done?" she asked, hopping down from the table.

"If you wish for one, I'm sure there's a booster or two you're overdue on," Chakwas said, an eyebrow arched. "But otherwise I find you fit to return to duty. I'll send the forms onto Command and email Hackett myself."

Kaidan grinned. "Let me get out of your way, Doctor," he said quickly, pushing away from the desk and standing, but Chakwas shook her head.

"No hurry, Major," she said. "I've got to finalize a few things. Feel free to finish what you were working on."

"Are you sure you don't mind?" he asked, gesturing to the seat. "I can work in my own office."

"Where everyone knows to look for you?" Chakwas replied with a small smile. "You'll never finish that mountain of data pads there. No, stay put and finish, otherwise you'll be delayed again and again and you two will never leave."

"I thought you didn't want us to go?" Kate challenged with a smile.

"I don't, but just because I don't _like_ the idea doesn't mean I can't understand the reason you're going," Chakwas defended with a shrug. "Besides, you're both needed back here before the Normandy is ready for service, so the sooner you go, the sooner you can return."

Kate looked at the floor, averting her eyes while Kaidan cleared his throat.

"Thanks, Doc," he said quickly. "I'll get this done as quickly as I can."

"Anything I can do to help?" Kate asked, but before Kaidan could reply, the door to the bay slid open and Garrus came in, a small case in his hands.

"Hey Garrus!" Kate called, smiling at her best friend.

"Is there something you needed, Garrus? Are you feeling well?" Dr. Chakwas asked, concern on her face.

"Uh, I'm good, thanks," the turian replied. "I'm not interrupting, am I? I figured Kaidan was in here hiding out, but if Shepard's finished for today, Doc, I need to steal her for a while, if I can."

"She's free, Garrus. In fact, she's released from her medical hold as of a few moments ago," Chakwas replied.

"Hey, that's great news, Shepard," Garrus said sincerely. "It'll be good to have you back. Actually, good for you too, your uniform is getting a little snug from you sitting around, eating bon-bons all day."

"Uh huh. You know, I could get a jump start on trimming up by kicking your Turian ass from here to Earth. You game?"

"Maybe, but you'd probably just break a toe or something," the sniper joked before he grew serious again and gestured to the canister in his hand. "Besides, I need to speak with you. Kaidan, can I borrow Shepard for a while?"

Kaidan nodded, tossing a data pad he'd just finished onto the desktop. "Just return her in the condition I loaned her out in," the biotic quipped, winking at Kate, who rolled her eyes. "I'll see you later, Shepard."

Garrus moved toward the door as Kate thanked Dr. Chakwas again. Together they departed the room and she followed Garrus to the elevator.

"What's up?" she asked as they stepped in.

Garrus selected her cabin and the doors slid shut. He sighed, but didn't answer her question.

"Earth to Garrus," she said slowly. "You okay?"

He sighed again and they arrived at their destination, the doors opening to reveal the entrance to her cabin. He stepped out and waited for her, his eyes not meeting hers.

"Garrus, what the hell?" she demanded, his demeanor beginning to scare her. The Turian held out the case, and she slowly took it from him. "What is this?"

"You know I've been doing tech and supply salvage coordination for the Alliance with Tali, right?"

"Yes," she replied slowly, glancing down at the case in her hand. "And?"

He took a deep breath. "And…today my work took me to your mother's ship. I, uh, I brought you some of her things."

"My mother?" she repeated, staring down at the modest case. She blinked rapidly. "Oh."

"Her cabin was in good condition," he said quickly. "There was still basic power available, so the VI of the ship was online and had erected what force fields it could. There's a lot there, on the ship, I mean. It'll be a real help."

Her eyes were still locked on the container. "She'd have liked that," she whispered, finally glancing up with a weak smile. "Helping. She was always the first person to pitch in, you know?"

She gestured toward the cabin and together they went inside where they settled onto the couch. She placed the container onto the coffee table, her fingers lingering on its edge.

"You don't need to open it right now, Shepard," Garrus said quietly. "I tried to get what I thought you'd want, but to be honest, she didn't have a lot in her cabin, at least not personal items. I brought her laptop and she had a few data pads that were in a nightstand drawer, so I stuck them in there too."

She bit her lip and pulled the case onto her lap. It wasn't very large, no bigger than a foot wide, but that didn't surprise her – her mother's quarters tended to be rather spartan when it came to her living quarters.

"She was a navy brat, so she didn't believe in…clutter," she began softly. "My grandfather served, but he didn't stay in too long after the First Contact War ended. But she enlisted right after he got out; barely spent a week out of the fold."

"Sounds like my father," he noted. "There never was another way of life, just C-Sec, just service."

She nodded, swallowing hard. "That's it exactly. Wonder if they'd have gotten along?" she asked with a small smile. "God knows I wouldn't know what to do without your sorry butt around."

"Listen, Shepard…Kate, there was a file on her laptop that was active when I checked it, an audio file. It began to play as soon as it came back online," he said hesitantly. "It's, ah, it's for you. I didn't listen to it, at least, not the whole thing. I shut it down as soon as I could; I feel like a jerk that I even heard it. I know it's private, I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "Don't be sorry, Garrus. I'm not. I'm grateful you brought me her things," she said sincerely. "I can't believe there was anything left to find at all, let alone that _you_ were the one to recover it. Seriously, I don't think I can thank you enough."

He nodded and slowly stood. "Anytime. If you need to talk, I'll be around. Just say the word."

"Garrus?" she called, looking up at him. "They're taking me off the Normandy."

He stared at her for a few quiet moments, his mandibles moving slowly before he sat back down. "I wondered how they'd handle you and Kaidan. I'm guessing this is still being kept quiet. Did they give him this command?"

"Yeah," she breathed. "They want to post me to a cruiser, the Berlin."

"So they're priming you for an admiralty in a few more years and bringing Kaidan up behind you."

"Something like that."

"It's a hell of a mistake to make, taking you from this type of setting. You won't do too well with a thousand crew members; it's too many personnel for your command style."

"That's what I said."

"And I don't imagine that Kaidan's signing up for this plan. What's Hackett say?"

"Hackett is trying to satisfy both sides, but I don't think he can. He understands why we don't want to take the new posts, says there's 'merit to our position' on things, but he's pushing us to comply with the orders, to take the assignments as they are."

The Turian inhaled and sat back, folding his hands in his lap. "You know, if someone had asked me what you'd do in this situation a year ago, I would have said you'd do just that, comply. A lot's changed since a year ago."

"It has, you're right. The Reapers are gone, the war's over, not to mention we're actually _alive_, which, be honest, neither of us saw _that_ one coming. I've done what I set out to do, we all have."

"Yeah, Shepard, you have," he agreed. "If there was a way, I'd already have headed home, Tali would be standing on Rannoch and Liara would be somewhere sneaky, back to work. But our situation isn't the same as yours; you're home and your family is here with you. You're lucky."

"Then why do I feel like such a sack of shit for getting on with my life?"

He chuckled. "Probably because you've never had one, not really anyway, and probably because you're still shocked you're not dead."

She snorted.

"And," he continued, his tone more serious, "because you've always done everything for everyone else, even if it meant that your needs took second, hell, even third place."

"I never once did anything for anyone I wasn't willing to do," she with conviction.

"And that's why we all let you cheat at poker, but not my point. Shepard, there's nothing _wrong_ with putting your wants and needs first once in a while. You've done your share; don't you let anybody convince you of anything less."

"You're right," she admitted, rubbing her forehead. "Actually, that's almost exactly what Kaidan said."

He studied her for a moment before he sat forward, his elbows planted on his knees. "You two won't be coming back from Earth, will you? You've already made your choice," he guessed and she nodded. "Good. Now don't chicken out – you're allowed to be happy."

She leaned over and grazed her fingertips against the case he'd brought her. "I can't help but wonder what she'd have to say about all this," she whispered. She unlocked the case, but didn't open it.

"I know this is the part where I tell you she'd have wanted you to run off and chase your dreams, blah, blah, blah," he began, standing once more. "But if she was anything like my father is, chances are she'd have told you to toe the line before she would tell you to ride off into the sunset with Alenko."

"Yup."

"So here's what _I_ say. Her life is over, Shepard, and she died so that some of us had a shot at living. Honor that and don't be sorry for it. Got it?"

Her eyes met his and she offered him a soft smile. "Got it."

His mandibles flexed and he headed for the exit.

"Garrus?" she called out, looking over her shoulder at him. "I'll miss your ugly mug."

The Turian laughed. "Yeah, well, I'll miss saving your ass every five minutes."

"Thank you…for everything."

He went still and in a voice so soft she almost didn't hear him, he replied.

"Always."

**xXx**

Kate stared at the open case for nearly ten minutes before she finally began to pull things out. Garrus had been correct, there wasn't a lot to go through. She set the data pads to the side and removed some of the smaller items, knickknacks that had stood vigil over her mother's desk, wherever that desk may have been. She smiled softly as she touched each possession with care.

Her mother had been a creature of habit, something born from a perpetually mobile lifestyle. Regardless of where her mother had been stationed, be it ship or planet-side, Hannah Shepard had arranged her mementos on her private desk exactly as the previous one had been. She'd reveled in order and thrilled at organization.

There were three small pictures, one of Kate's grandparents at her mother's academy graduation, one of Kate at her own graduation, and the last a picture of Kate at about four years old, cuddled into her father's lap. She stared at his handsome image for a moment before she stood each frame by the next.

Glancing at her own messy desk, Kate knew her mother would have been apoplectic at the sight. She sent up a quick prayer of thanks that she was more like her father than her mother in that regard, but still stood and cleared the clutter. She carried the frames over and arranged them, smiling as she realized she'd put them in the exact same places her mother had always set them.

Not so much like her father after all.

Returning to the case, she picked up the other few items. A piece of pottery she'd made for her mother when she'd been little, a plaque commemorating Hannah's last promotion and a small leather-bound journal that had belonged to her dad. She put them in a drawer before she sat again and opened the laptop, her finger hovering over the power button.

With her touch the system came to life.

Once it was finished booting up, her eyes locked onto a small file symbol in the lower corner of the screen. Its name was simply 'Katie'. She selected the file and her mother's voice filled the room.

"_Hello sweetie," _began her mother. _"I know we already spoke today but as we all prepare to jump back to Sol I can't keep you off of my mind. You're on that Cerberus base right now, fighting for our chance to take on the Reapers and probably seeing things there that even a therapist won't be able to scrub from your memory."_

Kate reclined into the sofa and arched an eyebrow. "You got that one right," she muttered.

"_This is going to be a hell of a fight, once you're done with the Illusive Man, that is. I've seen the battle plan, I know the numbers. You know me, I only like good, solid facts,"_ her mother continued, pausing to sigh. _"All those facts tell me…well, they tell me that it's more likely we won't be winning this one. And I can't help but think I'm going to die without apologizing to you. So now, here I sit, staring at the walls of my cabin and making this file for you."_

Kate's brow was furrowed as she considered her mother's words. "Apologize?"

"_I need you to know I messed up, Katie, that I was wrong. I…after we lost your father, I threw myself into my work. Doing that kept me sane, it let enough time pass so that I could heal, but you got lost along the way. Suddenly I looked up and the years had passed and you were grown and I was out of time with you. I taught you a lot, things like duty and service, honor and sacrifice, but I also taught you, through more examples than I'd care to confess, that you came second. That the Alliance, that my commander and my crew's needs were more important than yours."_

Kate glanced up, motion catching her attention and Kaidan sat down next to her, taking her hand into his, placing a quick kiss to the top of it. He didn't speak.

"_We missed out on so much because of that. I took happiness from you and worse than that, I think I may have convinced you that you're not as entitled to it as everybody else. I'm sorry because that…well, that's about the most horrible thing a mother could do._" Hannah paused and then cleared her throat.

"_So, you listen to me, Katie Girl. You get through this, that's an order. And when it's done, and these Reapers are dead, you go be happy. Pick what you want, don't wait for the Alliance or anybody else to tell you what that is. Promise me, Katie. Promise you'll grab Kaidan's hand and jump in, baby, both feet, no holding back. He loves you, they all do, and they'll help you learn to believe that you're allowed some joy, that there's more than just duty. I wish I'd taught you that myself." _

There was a long pause in the recording and she heard her mother sniffle softly before she resumed.

"_I need to go, there's a lot to do. I love you. You are the best thing that ever happened to me or your father. God, I wish he could see you now,"_ Hannah said and then sighed, her tone becoming more formal._ "Be safe, Katie. I love you."_

The audio stopped and the file closed, Kate staring at the screen, her mother's words washing over her.

"Katie Girl," she whispered. "That was my dad's nickname for me. I haven't heard that in a very long time."

Kaidan pulled her against his side, his arm going around her as he kissed the top of her head.

"You okay?" he asked softly.

She nodded, snuggling in as closely as she could. "I'm good, I just didn't expect her to…" she sighed, her words trailing off. "Kaidan?"

"Yeah?"

"I want to go to Vancouver."

"Okay," he answered, his lips against her brow. He raised her chin and kissed her slowly. "I love you, Kate."

She caressed his cheek and turned, moving so she settled into his lap. He watched her as she leaned in, his eyes sliding shut as she kissed him.

"Show me," she breathed. "Please, Kaidan, show me."

**xXx**

Hours later, naked and tangled together, she traced his profile with her fingertip.

He caught her hand in his and rolled them over, settling between her thighs and kissing her. "You ready to leave here, Kate?" he asked as he braced himself on his elbows above her. "We're not coming back."

She smiled softly. "It's time to go."

"It is, you're right," he agreed. "But I gotta admit, I'm not looking forward to leaving, knowing it'll be the last time. My years on the Normandy…well, they've been some of the best and worst of my life."

"Me too."

"On the other hand," he continued, kissing her chin lightly. "You're the reason it's been such a hell of a ride, and I'm not giving you up."

"Have Shepard, will travel?" she quipped, grinning at him.

He returned her smile. "Something like that."

"I love you."

"And I love you," he replied. "Come on, let's get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a really long day."

He rolled them over and she cuddled against his side, his quiet breathing soon steady as he fell asleep. As she began to drift away, she watched her fish swim silently, gliding gracefully through the water.

"I'll miss you guys," she whispered before she slipped into a dreamless sleep.

_**Thank you to Lisa for yet another amazing beta. You put your heart into every chapter and I am very aware of how better my stories are because of you. Thank you.**_

_**A very grateful shout-out to Michele for taking the time to check canon for me, literally while the movers were loading the truck and her house is in transit. Many blessings on your new home and congratulations!**_

_**Thank you SO much for reading, reviewing and for taking the time to follow this story. Y'all are fabulous!**_


	14. Goodbye

**AN: Heads up! NSFW and it starts right now!**

**Goodbye**

Kate slowly opened her eyes and stretched, sighing happily as she felt her husband's warm body curl around hers, his strong hands cupping her breasts.

"You're awake," he rasped in her ear, spooning her from behind.

She pressed herself against him and felt his wonderfully firm pleasure at seeing her. "So are you," she giggled softly, rubbing her bottom against his erection.

"I've been waiting for you," he breathed, a hand traveling down her middle, his long fingers parting her lips and teasing her lightly.

"Apparently," she gasped and he chuckled lightly, his breath tickling her neck.

He knew just how to touch her, to stoke her need for him and he rolled onto his back, pulling her over his muscular frame, her back against his chest. Her hips straddled his, her body open to him and she balanced her weight, her hips over his.

"Oh my god, Kaidan!" she moaned. With one hand massaging her breasts and the other bringing her to her peak, she was lost in the amazing sensations and soon cried out, coming hard on his fingers. Panting, her body swimming in complete ecstasy, she struggled to recover, wanting to see to his pleasure.

Again he rolled them over but now she was under him, this time facing him. She pulled him to her, kissing him hotly, as he thrust into her, his pace fast and hard from the start. Pinning her to the bed, he hammered inside her, hungrily kissing her and rasping his need, his words wanton and dirty against her neck until her orgasm shattered through her, the clenching heat gripping him tightly and throwing him into oblivion.

She held him when he collapsed against her, savoring the sweaty taste of his skin when she kissed his shoulder.

He raised his head, kissed her cheek and braced his elbows, lifting his weight off of her as he grinned down at her. "Good morning."

She smiled back. "Yes it is," she replied cheekily as he settled next to her. "Just so you know, you're more than welcome to wake me up that way anytime, I'll be okay with it."

He arched an eyebrow, propping himself up on his elbow. "You sure?" he teased. "I'd hate to put you out."

"Marriage requires all kinds of give and take, babe."

He began to reply but Traynor's voice called out over the room's comm.

"Major Alenko?"

Kaidan sighed and sat up in bed, scrubbing his face before he tapped the console on the nightstand, opening the comm. for his reply. "Morning, Specialist, what can I do for you?"

"Pardon the early hour, sir, but Admiral Hackett is requesting that you and the commander join him for a video conference at zero eight-thirty."

"Thanks, Traynor, we'll get moving," Kaidan replied, picking up his omni-tool and opening his email. "Anything else?"

"The shuttle schedule for today just updated. There are only four non-military runs to the North American continent now, instead of seven. Bad weather over the plains, apparently."

Kate sat up and climbed out of the bed. "Traynor, can we still get to Vancouver?"

"As of now, yes ma'am," the specialist replied. "But there's only one flight scheduled, and it's later than your original. It leaves at eighteen-forty and I've already taken the liberty of booking you both."

"Traynor, what would we do without you?" Kate asked, winking at Kaidan who chuckled.

"Likely we'd all be saluting your clone, ma'am," quipped the specialist. "Actually, we were talking about the possibilities of that just the other night and…"

"I don't want to talk about it!" Kate hollered as she entered the cabin's bathroom, the door sliding shut behind her.

Traynor was heard sniggering over the comm. "That gets her every time," the scientist giggled. "Sir, is there anything else?"

"No, Specialist, I think we're good. We'll see you shortly before zero eight thirty."

"Yes, sir. Good morning then, Traynor out."

**xXx**

Hackett folded his hands behind his back, his grainy image still managing to effectively convey his dissatisfaction.

"Yes, Major, I realize this isn't what you two had hoped for, but for now, this is the best Personnel can do," he said, his eyes moving between Kate and Kaidan. "It's reasonable to hope that as the Alliance recovers these posts will change, opening up the opportunity for your assignments to become a joint one."

Kate nodded. "Is there any kind of timeline to those changes, sir? How long should we anticipate remaining in place before a joint post?"

"As you know, a normal assignment length would be thirty-six to forty-eight months," the admiral replied. "_If_ there is sufficient progress made toward recovery by then, then creating something to accommodate your request becomes far more likely."

Kate sighed and Kaidan shifted his weight, glancing quickly at her. She minutely shook her head, as he nodded once, understanding her signal.

"Sir, I'm sorry, but four years is a very long time, especially in our line of work; there's peril on an almost daily basis," Kaidan said. "And that's four years sacrificed without knowing for certain that at the end of it we'd be together."

"You have time to think this through," Hackett stated. "You don't need to answer me now."

"No, sir, I think we owe it to you to do so," Kate replied. "You'll need to time to fill those slots."

Hackett was quiet for a few moments, and then glanced down at his boots, not looking up when he next spoke. "Is this your final decision, Shepard?"

She cleared her throat. "Yes, sir, I'm sorry. I will not be accepting my new orders and hereby notify you of my resignation."

"Major?"

Kaidan clasped his hands behind his back, standing at full attention. "I respectfully decline my new post, sir, and also wish to surrender my commission."

Hackett, his eyes still downcast, remained silent for several tense breaths. "It is with significant regret that I'm forced to accept your decisions," he began, looking up at them, his tone tight but professional. "Though not unexpected." The admiral locked eyes with Kate. "However, you both have over thirty days of leave and it's standard procedure for you both to depart your command and burn those days, drawing pay and benefits while you do so."

"Terminal leave, yes sir," Kaidan replied.

"Exactly. We'll proceed with processing your resignations, yes, but I want you to know that I will not consider this permanent until you've reached the end of that leave. Go to Canada, find the Alenkos, do what you need to do and then we'll revisit this."

"But, sir, you need these positions filled," Kate began. "Personnel will require something and…"

Hackett shook his head and cut her off. "I'll deal with Personnel, Commander, and I'll make sure the orders you're declining are addressed. I realize that neither of you will likely change your minds about this, but it's my prerogative to hope you will. Use the time away to consider this may be a mistake."

"We don't see it that way, sir," Kaidan said. "We won't be changing our minds."

"Maybe not," Hackett replied. "But I've got nearly five weeks before I have to admit defeat and you've got just as long to come around; by God I won't surrender you two until I've got no other damned choice."

"Yes sir," Kaidan answered. "But, with all due respect, please don't count on our return."

"Personnel will use the time to prepare your replacements, Alenko, don't worry about that. But I'm keeping the door open as long as I can."

"Sir? What about things here on the Normandy?" Kate asked. "May we at least notify our officers of our departure?"

Hackett sighed. "Considering that regardless of what you choose to do neither of you will be returning to the Normandy, yes. But I don't want the morale of the crew affected; the progress of the ship's overhaul is critical and _must_ be maintained, so general staff will learn once their new commander is selected, as is standard procedure. You're authorized to inform Vega, Adams, and you'd better tell Traynor as well, considering she'll be working the transition."

"May I tell Joker, sir?" Kate requested.

Hackett nodded. "He's not part of the ship's command, and would normally learn of these changes with the rest of the crew, as will Lieutenant Cortez, but I realize you and Joker have served together longer than anyone else on the ship. Permission granted."

"Thank you, sir."

"When do you depart?"

"Eighteen forty hours, sir. We'll be going straight into Vancouver," Kaidan answered crisply.

"Check in with my XO when you're on the ground," Hackett ordered. "As I said, you two are on terminal leave and _not_ released from service yet. Take advantage of that; get what resources and supplies you can from the headquarters in Vancouver and keep me informed of your progress. This is far from the last time we'll be talking, you two, and I expect regular updates, am I understood?"

"Yes, sir," Kate and Kaidan replied in unison.

"Good," he said stiffly, looking at them with a frown. His shoulders slumped ever-so-slightly and he cleared his throat. "Now, as your commander, and as someone who's known you both for most of your careers, I _don't_ like this one damned bit. However…" he paused, squaring his shoulders. "However, as someone who was once forced to make a similar decision, and clearly chose another course, I want you both to know I understand what you'd be giving up. You're each exceptional people and you'll always have my respect. My door will remain open, regardless of what happens."

"Thank you, sir," Kate answered softly.

Kaidan met the other man's gaze steadily. "I'm grateful, sir."

"Anything else?" the admiral asked, his tone strong and crisp again.

Kate and Kaidan stood at attention, Kaidan replying as the ranking officer. "No sir."

"Alright. Get on the ground, inform my XO of your progress and get yourselves back in one piece."

"Understood, sir," they replied, each holding a salute.

Hackett gazed at Kate for a long moment before returning their salutes. "Good luck. Let's hope you find what you're after out there. Be careful. Hackett out."

Their mentor's image scattered and disappeared. Kaidan reached out and took Kate's hand into his.

"Hey," he said softly. "You okay?"

"I was kind of hoping he'd yell at us," she confessed, squeezing his hand. "Then maybe I wouldn't feel like we'd completely let him down."

He shrugged. "Hackett doesn't yell."

"No, apparently, he doesn't," she answered with a sigh. "Anderson would have chewed us a new one."

He chuckled. "That's for sure."

"Damn it, Shepard!" she said in a low voice, imitating the lost admiral. She grinned sadly. "I miss him."

"Me too," he said quietly. "I guess we've got to talk to some folks. How do you want to do this?"

"Let's talk to Traynor, Vega and Adams together in our quarters," she answered, leaning her hip against the bar next to the communicators. "If you don't mind, I'll go speak with Joker on my own. I know you're friends, but…"

"No, that's fine, Kate. He should hear it from you and he needs a chance to react without worrying about others watching. I'll catch up with him before the shuttle tonight."

"Thanks."

"I'll go talk to Traynor, have her set up a time for us all to meet," he offered. "Why don't you go speak with Joker now? After we tell the others, we'll need to get organized and packed up in time for our shuttle. I'll ping your omni-tool with the meeting time."

"Right," she said, standing away from the bar and approaching the exit. She paused, looking over her shoulder at him. "I love you, Alenko."

"I love you, too." He shifted his weight nervously, his brow furrowed. "Hey, listen, I know this is still a little hard for you, but we'll be okay. I promise. It's a brand new adventure, the next step, you know?"

She heard his tone and recognized his anxiety – he was still worrying she was second-guessing their choice. She walked back to him and kissed his cheek, touching his face gently. "Do _not_ mistake my sadness at leaving for regret, do you hear me? I. Want. You."

His eyes held hers and he nodded once. "Got it."

"Good."

**xXx**

"Hey, Commander," Joker called out as Kate entered the cockpit.

"Morning, Joker, how's it going?" she asked, nodding to the two techs who were working on the large console opposite the navigation computer. "Guys, can you give us a few?"

They nodded and powered down their tools, stacking them neatly to the side before leaving.

"Thanks, guys," she said quietly as they filed past. "I'll let you know when we're done."

Joker swiveled his chair around and crossed his arms. "Alright, you threw out my help. You gonna run this diagnostic with me? Adams wanted it twenty minutes ago."

She cued up her omni-tool. "Sure, what are we doing?"

"Testing the variation on the trim if we had to drop out of light speed early," he explained. "I need to know the threshold, so I don't accidentally rip off half the hull if I hit the brakes."

"Got it."

She tapped on the glowing console and restarted the navigational console. "Aren't you wondering why I asked them to go?"

"Since I'm pretty sure it's not because you want to make out, no. I figured you'd tell me," he said lightly. "Just wanted to get you working before we're all distracted from whatever piece of crap news you came up here to tell me."

She chuckled and he grinned, swinging his chair back around.

"But now that you _are_ helping, hit me with it."

She crossed from the nav. computer to the second helmsman chair to its right, waving her omni-tool over it. "I'm leaving."

"I heard, Traynor said you guys are on the last shuttle out tonight. I'm still trying to stop getting the giggles when I picture you roughing it."

"Hey! I can rough it!"

He laughed. "Yeah, okay, sure. You can handle a firefight, you can handle long hours and being uncomfortable, but you always run to the showers after, desperate to get all clean and girly again. Not to mention that I've seen you girl-squeal at a _spider_, Shepard, and there're a shitload of spiders out in the woods."

"Are you talking about that monster in my apartment? That thing was the size of a small dog!"

"Whatever! You practically climbed onto Alenko's shoulders to get away from it," he recalled, sniggering. "I'm guessing he'll be real tired of carrying you by the time you're both back."

Her smile fell at his last words and she turned off her omni-tool, looking up to face him.

He noticed her change in demeanor and pulled a face. "What?"

"I…that's just it," she began, sighing. "We won't be back. The Alliance wants to post me to the Berlin, as its commander. I said no. Kaidan's leaving too."

He tapped the button on his chair and swung back around, his back now to her.

"Joker, come on," she pleaded softly but the pilot didn't reply, his hands moving quickly from screen to screen. Biting her lip to keep from prodding him to respond, she returned to the diagnostic and quietly worked.

"This is bullshit!" he finally snapped. "Why the hell? I mean, what good does moving you…damn it!" he exclaimed, tossing a data pad, the clatter a resounding racket in the quiet. His fingers drummed on the side of his armrest. "When?"

"We start our terminal leave tomorrow. Your new commander should be here in a little over a month."

"Great, just freakin' awesome. Any idea which ass clown they're sticking us with?"

She shook her head. "Nope."

"Shit," he breathed and his chair slowly turned back around. "Is it just you and Alenko leaving or are there even more shit bombs planned for us? And how the hell did you let this happen? You're Commander-fucking-Shepard! You just destroyed the Reapers! Can't you just, ya know, shoot somebody or something?"

"I suppose," she replied, a weak smile on her face. "I'm not sure it would do any good, though. Hackett's tried, and we've been dicking around with this for a few weeks now. It's no good; Kaidan and I would both be reassigned and separated, regardless of our protests. War's over, protocol and procedure win."

The pilot frowned, his anger apparent. "Of course it does," he muttered, rolling his eyes. "We spent how many years scrambling for our lives, fighting giant robots and saving the galaxy so that the ass-kissing politicians and ladder climbers could still ruin things. Wow, how'd I not see that coming? I thought things might be different, that the idiots in charge would see that maybe, _just maybe_ we actually have a clue about how things should be done and let us just do our damn jobs. I should have known."

She crossed to his chair and slid down into EDI's old seat. They were both quiet, Kate tracing the leather piping on the chair. "You're staying," she said softly. "Hackett did manage to get that solidified. Adams too."

"Damn," he muttered. "So James and Cortez are leaving too? Traynor?"

"You know I can't tell you about their situations," she answered. "But things are going to change – a lot. For what it's worth, I wish it wouldn't. I'm going to miss you, Joker. You're one of my closest friends and honest to God, I couldn't have done any of this without you."

He looked away, tugging his cap lower and reclining into the recesses of his chair. She did the same, waiting for him to speak.

"Do you remember when we first met?" he asked, his voice gruff. "I mean, really met? Other than the few random salutes when you were in the cockpit?"

She nodded. "You were arguing with the comm. officer about your data allotment. You'd used it all and we were only about three days into the new period."

"Yeah," he agreed. "I needed to send a vid to my sister for her birthday and the asshole said I couldn't have the extra time. You made him give it to me."

"Well, it was your sister's birthday."

"Sure, but even when he'd told you how I'd burned up my allotment, you didn't back down. I thought for sure my butt was toast when he told you that."

She grinned. "Well, as I recall, you explained that it was top-notch porn and that nobody should have to delete good porn."

"Exactly!" he replied quickly and then finally returned her smile. "You saved my ass with my sister and you let me keep my amazing girl-on-girl action! In that one single, shining moment, you became the best commander I'd ever had."

She gaped. "In _that_ moment? Seriously? So not when we stopped Saren, or when you got that fancy leather seat upgrade, or when, _you know_, I put you in that escape pod and _saved your life_?"

"For the record, you did break my arm."

After a moment of staring, she shook her head. "I, ah, wow…I really don't know what to say to that."

He rolled his eyes. "Alright, look, when you helped me out it wasn't about being heroic or because anybody else was watching, it was because you're, you know, _you_. You take care of us, Shepard, you keep us…whole," he finished quietly. He swallowed. "What'll we be without that?"

She blinked rapidly, looking away to keep the tears at bay. "I guess that's up to you, Joker. The Normandy's a good home to those who are willing to make her one. She's your ship; you're the constant here, so maybe you should be the one that helps the new crew love her like we do."

"Maybe," he replied slowly and then grinned widely. "But _only_ if they're not a bunch of tools."

She burst out laughing, shaking her head and dashing away a rogue tear. "You are _not_ right, you know that?"

His grin faltered. "No, no, I'm not. I'll miss you, Shepard."

"I'll miss you too," she whispered. With a sigh, she climbed out of EDI's seat and paused, placing her hand on his shoulder. "One last thing," she began, and he looked up at her. "Do you want me to tell you what happened on the Crucible?"

Joker's eyes fell onto EDI's vacant seat. "Did she have to die? Is it part of how you stopped them?"

"Yes."

His chin quivered slightly and he shifted. She took his hand off of his shoulder.

"She trusted you," he said softly. "And I still do. I don't need to know anything else."

She swallowed down the lump in her throat. "Thank you," she said so softly he almost didn't hear her.

Her omni-tool pinged and the moment broke. He cleared his throat and keyed his diagnostic back up as she read the alert from Kaidan. Vega, Adams and Traynor were ready to meet in their quarters.

"I should go," she said. "I'll forward you the scans I ran."

"Got it," he replied casually. "Thanks."

She neared the door when he called out and stopped her. "Hey, Commander?" he began, facing her again. "What are you and Alenko going to do now?"

"I've no idea," she answered honestly. "Find his family, that's the most important thing. Then I guess we'll see if there's enough of the Council still alive that they could use a couple of Spectres."

He turned his chair back around, his hands busy with the screens glowing in front of him. "Let me know if you're looking for a good pilot, and by good, I mean the best this galaxy has ever, or will ever see."

"Cortez is looking to get out of the Alliance?" she asked and then ran out, dodging the data pad that flew in her direction, her friend's laughing curses following her down the walkway.

With a bittersweet feeling, she reached the elevator, glancing back over her shoulder at the closed cockpit doors at the far end of the CIC.

"He'll be okay," she whispered to herself. The elevator arrived and she stepped in, watching the busy crew working before the doors slid back shut. "They all will."

**xXx**

Traynor, Adams and Vega were all very quiet. Vega slumped back into the sofa, Traynor appeared stunned and Adams was glancing from one junior officer to the next.

"It _happens_, you know, you guys," Adams said with a shake of his head. He looked to Kate and Kaidan. "It's a shame to see you go, Commander, Major, but its been an damn honor to be able to serve with you two."

"And with you, Adams," Kate replied sincerely. "We couldn't have pulled all of this off without your expertise."

"Thank you for saying so, but it's always been a crew effort and this is a hell of a good crew," Adams stated. He looked at Vega and Traynor, a small smile on his face. "They, uh, they look a little shell-shocked. Why don't I let you two speak with them?" he offered, standing.

Kaidan and Kate both got to their feet, Kaidan offering his hand to Adams and Kate then doing the same.

"This is still on a need to know basis, but Hackett's XO will keep Vega informed about the transition. With any luck you'll be getting the name of the new CO in a few weeks, tops," Kate explained.

"Yes ma'am, understood," the engineer replied.

"Adams, it's been a pleasure," Kaidan said, walking him to the door. "I'm sure you'll keep the Normandy running in peak condition and your new commanding officer will be as grateful as we've been for your talent and hard work. Thank you."

Adams offered a salute and both Kate and Kaidan returned it; the engineer stepped into the small vestibule outside of the cabin.

"Good luck to you both."

"And to you, Adams," Kate answered and with that, he stepped aboard the elevator, the doors sliding shut.

Kate and Kaidan stepped back down to where the couches were, the stunned junior officers still seated in silence.

"You guys okay?" Kate asked quietly, her eyes meeting Kaidan's briefly as she sat down on the adjacent couch.

Traynor exhaled slowly. "Wow," she said. "So, is there any chance either of you will change your mind?"

"No," Kaidan replied, standing beside the bed. "We won't be back."

The specialist stood and glanced around the cabin. "Well, what about all of your stuff?"

"Neither of us has a lot of personal things," Kaidan answered. "Most of what we had was in the apartment on the Citadel. We'll get things boxed up and it can sit in storage until we can let you know where to forward it to."

"Right," she breathed. "I…forgive me, I'm just…this is _not_ what I expected when you asked us up here. But then, this is the first time I've served aboard an actual ship, so what do I know?"

Kate smiled. "I remember when I went through my first command change; it can feel like there's a lot of unknowns."

"That's because there _is_," Vega said stiffly. "Who knows who they'll hand us over to?"

"Trust in Hackett, guys, he doesn't want to see the success of this crew and ship impaired by this," Kaidan explained. "Whoever gets this post will be hand-picked by him, count on that."

Traynor nodded. "Right, of course."

Kate was watching Vega. "James, you okay?"

"Peachy, Commander," the soldier grumped.

Traynor fidgeted. "Would it be alright if I returned to my station? I'd feel better checking my logs and emails. Now that I know neither of you is returning I want to make sure there isn't anything you'll need to address or know about before you're gone."

Kate nodded and Kaidan answered. "Dismissed, Specialist, and thanks."

"No problem," she replied. "I'll do everything I can to make this transition work, I promise."

"Of course you will," Kate replied. "I trust you, we both do. The Normandy's in good hands if you and Vega are watching out for her."

They watched the young specialist struggle briefly to maintain her professionalism and for a moment, it looked as if she'd lose the fight. Suddenly, she forced a smile and hurried to leave the cabin.

Kaidan crossed his arms and studied Vega, who was looking angry and dying to speak. He arched an eyebrow when Kate over glanced at him. She lightly rolled her eyes and took the lead.

"Okay. Lay it on us, Vega, you look like you're about to explode," Kate said, granting the soldier permission to say his piece before the large vein in his neck burst. She looked at Kaidan and muttered, "You know, he'll need to work on that if he's ever going to be ready to run things around here."

"That's because I _am_!" he snapped, leaping to his feet and marching toward the fish tank. "What kind of messed up bullshit is this? Wait, do _what_? What did you just say?"

"Shepard," Kaidan said in a low voice. "We've been asked not to share further details."

"I know we have," she replied. "But he'll do better if we tell him. As his commanding officer, I'm willing to take the heat on this."

Kaidan shrugged. "Your call."

"Are you two going to tell me what you're talking about?"

"We're talking about your temper, James, and that you'll need to get a longer fuse if you're going to succeed," Kate replied. "Things here will be changing, yes, but we're not the only two with new orders – you'll be receiving yours soon."

Vega gaped, shaking his head. "For where?"

"That N7 slot is finally ready for you to fill it, your school starts in eight weeks," Kaidan explained. "They've established an area on the Australian continent and want to get those with pending slots through as quickly as possible. The kind of expertise you'll gain there is badly needed, the Alliance needs boots on the ground in multiple locations and fast. Assuming you don't wash out*, you're slated to be the new XO of the Normandy."

"Wash out? Me? Like hell I will!"

She looked at Kaidan. "I thought I was the one breaking the rules by spilling the beans."

The major smiled before returning his attention to the stunned lieutenant. "You'll be filling a position that gets a lot of attention; hence Shepard's statement that you'll need to get a better handle on your reactions to things."

Vega laughed weakly and held Kate's steady gaze for a few breaths. "Shit, oh shit," he muttered. "Me? The new XO? Are you serious? But the last XO officially assigned to the Normandy was –"

"Me," Kate finished for him, arching an eyebrow. "Well, Pressley was actually, but that duty kind of fell to him after Anderson left. Whatever, you get the point, basically me."

Vega shook his head and looked horrified. "Oh, you've gotta be kiddin' me!" he squeaked.

Kaidan successfully repressed a grin, but Kate saw the glint in his eyes. "Those, Vega, are some pretty big boots to fill."

"Actually, they're slender and petite boots, that I manage to really make work, but _regardless_, what he's trying to say is, don't mess this up," she said, the last words spoken with deliberate annunciation, effectively helping her stifle a giggle.

Vega's big green eyes darted between his two superior officers. "Now I _know_ you guys are messin' with me!"

"Maybe just a little, but only because you look like you're about to have a seizure or something," Kate confessed with a kind grin. "Lighten up, you'll do great. You're good, James, _really_ good, and this is your shot."

"And you're exactly what this crew will need," Kaidan commented, his tone serious again. "You're going to be bridging the gap between the new CO and the existing crew."

Vega sat down hard on the steps, his head in his hands. "Who in the hell told them I could do this? I'm just a junior lieutenant! I don't know how to lead, how to gel people!"

Kate crossed the room and sat down next to him, nudging his massive shoulder with her small one. "We did. We told Hackett you were the only man for the job and _we're_ _right_, something you'll realize at some point. Until then, you'll just have to trust us."

"But how?" he asked, his voice weak.

Kaidan leaned against the bulkhead. "You do what you're already doing, James. You get to know the crew, pay attention to their needs, their strengths, their weaknesses, and you make decisions based on that," he replied. "You've carried quite a load since the jump out of Sol and you've been the acting XO since we lifted off of that moon. You were in command while I was on Earth with Shepard."

"And you'll be in command between now and when the new CO arrives, after that you head to Australia," Kate finished. "You've got this, James. All you'll need to do is focus on your N7 and then get your ass back here."

"What if I mess up?" Vega asked softly. "Not N7 but the job?"

"You will," she replied honestly. "And it will feel like a lot at first, then less and eventually, you'll learn to trust your instincts, and your team will do the same. In the meantime, you've got my personal email. Just 'cause I'm leaving doesn't mean I'm not still willing to kick your ass or help out. I've got your back."

"We both do," Kaidan added. "Count on it."

Vega nodded slowly and got back to his feet, rubbing the back of his neck. "Okay," he said slowly. "You guys really think I can do this?"

"Yeah, James, we do," she answered, Kaidan inclining his head.

"Well, alright then," he said with more confidence. "Time to show 'em what I've got, right?"

"Damn right it is," she agreed.

Vega flexed and clapped his hands together. "I won't let you guys down, I got this," he declared, bouncing on his feet. "And I won't say goodbye, if that's okay."

"That's fine, because it's not goodbye," she replied.

Vega grinned and nodded, turning quickly and marching to the door where he hesitated. With a pivot of his heel he strode back to them and pumped Kaidan's offered hand before looking down at Kate's smaller one, emotion washing over him.

"Lola?" he said meekly and he scooped her up into a big bear hug, Kate laughing as she hugged him in return. He abruptly dropped her onto her feet and hurried from the cabin.

Her hand over her mouth, she looked into Kaidan's shocked eyes. "Totally didn't see that coming," she confessed with a surprised giggle.

Her husband shrugged, his smile wide. "You mean a lot to him, Kate, to all of them."

"So do you," she stated and then sighed, shaking her head. "It's kind of like dropping the kids off at college, except we're the ones leaving."

He chuckled. "Yeah, actually, it does feel that way. But they're ready."

"I know, I was telling myself that earlier," she replied, rubbing her temples. "That settles it. We're so never having kids, this is hell."

With a laugh he kissed her temple and she wrapped her arms around his waist. "Come on, _Mom_, we need to pack."

**xXx**

The end of the day shift arrived and the Alenkos were finished boxing up their belongings. Tali, Garrus and Liara had all been up to visit, making the time pass quickly and with laughter.

Traynor arrived shortly before eighteen hundred hours to deliver some last minute data pads that would need both the commander and major's attention and she too lingered, eventually stealing a hug from both Kaidan and Kate.

Now, their cabin mostly bare and their friends gone, they looked around their quarters one last time.

He picked up the largest of the three duffle bags and hefted it over his shoulder before slinging a second over his arm. She bent over the bed and grabbed the last bag.

"You ready?" he asked, turning and walking to the exit.

She closed her eyes, memories flashing through her mind and she nodded once. "Yup," she whispered. Her eyes ran over the bulkhead, the curves of the cabin walls, then up to the skylight. "You've been a hell of a ship, old girl. Thanks for the ride."

She followed her husband to the doorway and smiled at her fish one last time. "Bye guys. Be good."

"Can fish be bad?" he teased and she rolled her eyes, moving past him and calling up the elevator.

When they arrived at the CIC it was oddly free of people. Together they quietly moved toward the airlock, but Kate couldn't help but look around her.

"Where is everyone?" she asked. "I wanted to say goodbye one last time."

"Babe, I know, me too, but we're cutting it close on time as it is," he replied, reaching out and tapping the keypad next to the airlock door. "I'm sorry. We have to go."

The door opened and he stepped through, stopping short and Kate nearly colliding with him.

"What?" she asked, looking around his bulk. "Oh."

The crew of the Normandy lined the gangplank and upon seeing the major, snapped to attention and offered their salutes. She stepped next to Kaidan and gazed at them all.

"Wow," Kaidan whispered.

Garrus was closest, standing just on the other side of the opening and he walked up. "Technically, Hackett can't order me not to tell, so I did. I'm sure he'll get over it, but they wouldn't, not if they didn't get to say goodbye."

She met Garrus's eyes and nodded. "I…thanks," she breathed, barely containing her emotions. "God, I am _so_ glad to call you my friend."

His mandibles flexed and he looked down the line of saluting crewmembers. "Me too," he replied gruffly.

Liara and Tali stepped up and hugged Kaidan and Kate, Garrus shaking Kaidan's hand, both men too overwhelmed to say much.

Joker saluted them both before going back to attention, not speaking at all. Vega saluted and shook both their hands and then Kate reached Cortez.

She held out her hand, which he happily shook. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you myself, Steve. Hackett –"

Cortez smiled, his kind blue eyes shining. "I understand, Shepard. It _is_ the Alliance, you know. Just don't be a stranger, promise?"

"Promise. And take care of James, will you? He's about to have a really full plate."

Cortez winked. "Will do, ma'am, don't you worry."

She and Kaidan quietly finished their farewells to their friends, moving past them and down the gangplank, each holding their salute as they walked past the crew.

"Good luck!" called out Engineer Donnelly, Gabby grinning as he did. After he'd broken the silence, several other crewmen did the same, offering their well wishes as their commanding officers passed. Once at the bottom, the couple turned and looked back up their path, releasing their salutes as the crew did the same.

With one final look at the faces of their family, Kaidan reached out and took Kate's hand into his.

"Let's go," Kate whispered, smiling up at him. "It's time to go."

_***Wash out is a common term used in the military when one flunks out of a technical or specialized training school.**_

_**Thank you to Lisa, who despite the oppressive heat wave she's enduring like a trooper, beta-d this lickety-split and all while defending the honour of the great squirrels of the United Kingdom. God Save the Queen!**_

_**My thanks also to fellow Yank Michele for reviewing this for 'canon quality' on what ended up being a bit of a hectic day! Go Tribe! We'll see you in the spring!**_


	15. Vancouver

**Vancouver**

It was dark when they arrived in Vancouver, the night sky clear and star-filled.

Kate stepped off of the shuttle and onto the bustling tarmac, her eyes scanning the surrounding area as dozens of other passengers from various shuttles moved around her.

She'd landed at this station dozens of times before but it looked nothing like she recalled. The rubble of destroyed buildings surrounded the tarmac in a semi-circle, the other side of the area enclosed by temporary structures, similar to those used by colonists when they were establishing a settlement.

_Damn it, we should have done better,_ she thought, frowning at the devastation.

Kaidan, two of their three duffle bags slung over his shoulders, stood beside her and sighed as he surveyed the area.

"Come on," he said quietly, moving past her, his eyes focused on the single security checkpoint they would need to progress through.

Hefting her duffle bag onto her back, she followed him, turning on her omni-tool as she did, so her ID would be ready for scanning. They stood in line, her eyes still taking in the terrific conditions around them.

"Stop, Kate," he said softly, trying to keep their conversation private. They were surrounded by a large crowd of people, the last arriving shuttles of the day all seeming to arrive at once. "We did the best we could," he added, knowing her well enough to understand what she was thinking.

"Did we? I mean, Jesus, look at this," she replied. "This was one of the largest transport centers in the city and it's little more than dust."

"And the Reapers would still be here if we hadn't done our jobs," he reminded her, his voice firm but understanding. "_They_ did this to us, not the other way around."

They moved forward in the line and she met his eyes when they paused again. "I've been thinking about what that stupid reporter said at the bar, about his family dying. He blames us, you know, and he's not the only one. I watch the news reports, and so do you. Seeing all of this, reading the reports about the recovery, maybe I understand why survivors would want to hold us responsible."

"You understand?" he repeated, shaking his head. He adjusted a duffle bag to free one of his hands and held hers. "Okay, look, I'm not letting you do this to yourself. You love a good guilt trip, I get that, but none of this," he continued, gesturing to the rubble around them, "is your fault. Or mine. Or the Alliance's. The Reapers came here to harvest us."

"But –"

"Nope, don't let how things looks convince you we didn't do our damndest, Kate. I was there, right beside you, you _never_ slowed down, not once," he said firmly. "We _stopped_ them, Kate. End of story."

"Sir? Ma'am?"

They turned to see a young ensign standing to Kate's right, two guards flanking him.

"Forgive my interruption, but are you Major Alenko and Commander Shepard?" he asked while saluting.

They returned the ensign's salute and Kaidan answered. "We are. Can we help you?"

"No, sir, I'm actually here to help you," the ensign replied with a smile. "I'm Ensign Hernandez of the 204th, and I was asked by Admiral Hackett's office to personally greet and escort you to the main Alliance compound. I'll get you both processed through security and arrange for your bags to be sent to the VOQ. I've also got," he pulled a small envelope out of his back pocket, "some vouchers so that you can purchase items from shops before your travels."

Kate took the envelope and opened it, pulling out several printed tickets, each with a numeric value assigned to it. "Why would we need these?"

"Oh, right, you've not been on Earth since the Reapers left, sorry," the ensign apologized. He turned and passed a data pad to the security officer who'd approached him, giving both Kate and Kaidan's names to the officer, who then quickly nodded and hurried off.

Hernandez glanced back to Kate and Kaidan and explained. "See, there's not much use for credits unless you've got off-world resources to exchange the credits for goods, which, frankly, isn't most folks' at this point, so a lot of the vendors won't sell to you unless you've got a voucher. The voucher is a guarantee from the Alliance that the vendor can count on being paid via a commodity of an assigned worth, things like water or foodstuffs, that sort of thing."

"So basically, it's a bartering system?" Kate asked and the ensign nodded. "A pack of energy bars is worth a designated value and I give over the appropriate voucher?"

"And the vendor presents it to the Alliance for exchange," Kaidan finished, shrugging. "Makes good sense in lieu of credits that can't be redeemed when you'd need to restock your store," he commented and then looked at Hernandez. "Are these used outside of the city?"

"They are, sir, and before your travels, the quartermaster's office has been authorized to exchange personal credits for vouchers for you both."

The security officer returned and spoke quietly into Hernandez's ear, who thanked the man, and then faced the Alenkos again.

"We're ready, if you both would please follow me. Transportation to the VOQ is waiting outside," Hernandez advised them. "Once you're checked in, we'll set a time to meet in the morning so I can help you with procurements."

Kate arched an eyebrow at Kaidan and as Hernandez strode ahead, leaving them to follow, she whispered in her husband's ear.

"We can't waste time with this kid tomorrow. If we're being babysat by Junior over there, it'll be real damned hard to meet with Orlando on the terms he gave you."

"I know," he replied under his breath. "Let's just see what the ensign's orders are, he could just be our host, you know? But we both know why Hernandez is here."

"Hackett's forcing himself into the loop, I get it," she answered. "I appreciate the admiral's help but not if it means you miss a chance to speak with Orlando."

"Agreed."

They reached the exterior of the transport station and stepped into the street outside. There were destroyed vehicles, sky cars, and concrete rubble neatly stacked in cords along one side of the street and an open travel lane opposite it. A large and very old looking transportation vehicle was parked near their exit point and Hernandez waved them over.

"I'm sorry to rush you but we're blocking the only lane cleared for moving traffic," Hernandez called, waving at the Alenkos again. "We'll need to get underway."

The ensign led them to the rear of the long transport, something that looked like it could be a cousin to the Mako combat vehicles. Large tires ran the length of its body, their height at Kate's shoulder as she followed Hernandez to the back, where their host stepped up two rungs of a ladder and released the latch on the tailgate. The ensign offered a hand out to Kate, which she grasped and swung herself up into the bed, Kaidan following gracefully.

Ensign Hernandez stepped up, pulled the tailgate closed and locked it.

The Alenkos settled in on a makeshift bench that ran the length of the flatbed and Hernandez took a seat opposite them. One of the guards who'd been walking with them then slapped the roof of the cab, letting their driver know they could depart.

"Why the security?" Kate asked Ensign Hernandez, the loud engine of the truck drowning out her voice.

They cleared the facility and the surrounding area grew much darker. There were pylons dividing the two lanes, generators supplying power to floodlights mounted every one hundred feet or so, but the areas off the roadway were dark.

"Ensign!" Kaidan called out and the young man's eyes snapped to him. "Commander Shepard asked you why you're escorted by armed guards."

"Sorry! I didn't hear you! Uh, well, several reasons, ma'am, the main one being that you're both very high profile," Hernandez replied. "Also, since it's after sunset, the likelihood that we could be accosted increases significantly. This is a large vehicle and someone might get the wrong idea, think we've got supplies worth risking a confrontation over."

"Bandits?" Kate summarized, her shock obvious in her tone.

"Yes ma'am," Hernandez confirmed. "When the Reapers were here, everyone stuck together, it was far and few between that anyone stole supplies, food, and what have you. Civilian or Alliance, it didn't matter, we were in it together. Things changed."

"That makes no sense," Kaidan argued. "You just said everyone banded together, why would the Reapers' defeat change that?"

"Because the Alliance had to start following protocols again," Kate guessed. "Suddenly there're limits about who can go where, who can have what supplies and when, and the civilians got the short end of the stick. Am I far off, Ensign?"

"The Alliance is doing everything it can to help, we've set up dozens of refugee camps, a hospital and there's even a counseling center. There're hot lunches and dinners everyday outside of the compounds too, but…" the young man paused and seemed to study his boots for a few moments. He sighed. "No ma'am, no matter how I sugar-coat it, you're not far off the mark."

Kate sensed the ensign's unhappiness with the topic and let the matter drop. She turned sideways on the bench, her knee brushing against Kaidan's thigh, and she looked out into the night, quietly counting the camp fires that dotted the horizon.

**xXx**

An hour later they were sitting on a blackened metal crate outside of their room at the Visiting Officers' Quarters in the center of the main Alliance compound. Hernandez had left them for the evening and would be returning after zero eight hundred hours to show them around and begin helping them organize for their journey.

The night had turned chilly and Kate rubbed her arms as her husband stood and walked to the edge of the sidewalk that surrounded the small housing area. She watched as he leaned against the outside wall of the building, his eyes turned up to the sky.

He'd been very quiet since their arrival, the only time he'd said more than five or six words to her was when he'd sensed her upset at the conditions in the city. Otherwise, with the exception of necessary conversation, he'd said little.

It wouldn't help to ask him what was bothering him, as much as she wanted to. He rarely shared until he was ready and she knew trying to get him to talk before he was willing would only lead to an argument. She'd push him to share, he'd politely decline, and she'd force them to repeat the cycle until he finally snapped at her and the truth was she'd get mad at him, as unfair as she knew that would be.

Besides, she had a pretty good feeling she knew what was hurting him, and she'd be damned if she'd force the discussion on him.

So with a sigh, she determinedly went back into their room and unpacked what clothes and toiletries she knew they'd need. Once done, she looked outside and saw he'd not moved, so she took a shower and readied herself for bed. Eventually, she turned off the lights.

She wasn't sure what time it was when he finally slid in next to her.

"Kate," he whispered. "Are you awake?"

Rolling over, she snuggled close to his cool skin. "Yup," she replied, her voice thick with sleep. She cleared her throat. "Everything okay, baby?"

"Yeah, I'm good," he lied smoothly and then sighed. "Well, maybe not 'good'. I can't stop thinking about the way the city looks. How is it that anybody even survived? And then there're looters, thieves, not to mention the gangs who are apparently ballsy enough to attack even an Alliance vehicle," he said quickly, his tone tense and edgy. "How is it that I could have…I mean, is it even realistic…"

He stopped speaking and she waited for him to resume. When he didn't she rolled onto her stomach and propped her chin up on her wrist, facing him. He looked away.

"Your mother wasn't in Vancouver, ever, as far as we know," she said softly. "And you've got a contact within your dad's unit who says he needs to tell you something. So if your question was how could you have thought they might be alive, that's your answer."

His brown eyes remained fixed on something across the room.

She kissed his shoulder and continued. "Your parents aren't stupid, Kaidan. If there was a way to have made it through, then they found it."

"You don't know that."

"No, I don't, but I do know their son, and he'd have found a way. I'm betting the apple didn't fall too far from the tree," she reasoned. "I know your dad was last seen in full armor and with at least two firearms. Your mother was at a remote location and you've talked in the past about how she'd go hiking with a gun."

"To scare off or defend herself from wildlife, Kate. Not to kill Reapers."

"If she could shoot, then it doesn't matter what she's shooting at, does it?" she countered. "Nothing's changed, we've just seen that things are bad. Remember what you said to me at the transport station? 'Don't let looks convince me', wasn't that it? Listen to your own advice."

"Kate –"

"'Kate', what? Did you mean it or not?"

He held her gaze for a breath or two. "I meant it," he quietly confessed and closed his eyes, sighing heavily. "Okay, you're right. Nothing's changed."

"Okay," she repeated softly. "Did you speak with Orlando?"

"I did, he's on patrol tonight but will be returning to the compound tomorrow afternoon. We're meeting after, there's a bar outside the west gate that doesn't get many visits from officers."

She nodded. "Sounds likes this kid's still keeping his cards close. I'll keep Hernandez busy unless you want me to go?"

"No, it's better this way, you can keep Hernandez occupied if things run late with our talk."

"I can do that. Just promise me you'll leave your locator on your omni-tool running, okay?"

His eyes softened and he reached out, gently touching his thumb to her lower lip. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

She put her head on his chest and he tucked the sheets around them. She drifted back to sleep.

"It must have been hell for you, waiting for me to come in."

She snorted, startled by his voice. "Wait, what?" she asked groggily.

He grinned.

"I said it must have been hell for you, not coming out there to ask me what was wrong."

"Well, not actual _hell_," she replied with a gentle smile. "You were brooding and needed your space."

"Brooding?" he repeated, arching an eyebrow. "Okay, maybe I was, but that's my point. Normally that would be your cue to pester me about whatever's on my mind. I expected you to jump me with a hundred questions when I came in, not be asleep."

Her eyes fluttered shut as she yawned. "Four years later, I am displaying some semblance of self-control. It's not a miracle, but it's close."

"I'm impressed and I really appreciate it, Kate," he said sincerely. "Thanks."

"I'm trying, Kaidan, I want you to be happy," she whispered, her head still resting on his chest. "And your awe is enough, no thanks necessary," she quipped, giggling.

"I said I was _impressed_, not in awe," he argued, a smile in his voice.

"You chose your words poorly," she teased, lifting her head to smile at him. "You're anxious and have a lot on your mind. I forgive you."

"Thank God you understand me so well," he laughed. "Now I can sleep."

"Race you…"

His chuckled rumbled against her ear and she smiled as they both fell asleep.

**xXx**

Kaidan crossed the compound at a quick pace, the sun waning in the late afternoon sky.

He and Kate had spent the majority of the day arranging for the basic supplies they would need for their travels north. Ensign Hernandez had provided some critical information regarding the conditions outside of the city and Kaidan adjusted their requirements accordingly.

Assuming his meeting with Lance Corporal Orlando revealed nothing to deter them, he and Kate would head out at first light.

_Likely_ was a tiny town at the far edge of the interior of British Columbia and was home to his parents' orchard. What had once been a modest family farm had slowly seen its acreage sold off until what remained was less than two hundred acres.

The last time Kaidan had been there, there were fewer than sixty apple trees producing and no plans to expand.

Kate had stayed with Ensign Hernandez, distracting him with asking for his help in negotiating the purchase of a vehicle for their travels. Hernandez had located a possibility and she and the ensign, along with two guardsmen, had left the compound for the south side of the city.

With any luck, they'd return with an all-terrain mode of transportation and Kaidan would be back from meeting with Orlando before their arrival, Hernandez none-the-wiser.

Kaidan had no idea what it was Orlando intended to share with him, and the fact that the man had insisted on such secrecy was now adding to his anxiety. Seeing conditions in Vancouver had hammered home what the people left behind on Earth had faced and regardless of the assurances he'd given Kate, he was finding it hard to ignore the reality in front of them.

Another ten minutes of walking and he arrived outside of the bar where he'd arranged to meet with Orlando and, stepping inside, he could see why the younger man had chosen the location.

It was a busy place, but poorly lit and with several of its tables – if that's what the makeshift ensemble of crates and barrels could be called – in the recesses of the large room, making it hard to see clearly who was seated at them.

He approached the bar and scanned the faces around him until he spotted the man he was looking for. They made eye contact and the lance corporal nodded, jutting his chin in the direction of an empty table on the far side of the room.

Kaidan ordered a beer, one which, when handed to him in a chipped glass, he was pretty sure would taste like the mud it resembled, and went to the table.

"Orlando?" Kaidan said quietly.

The other man nodded and stood at attention.

"Hey, there's no need for that," Kaidan said quickly. "Especially if you aren't looking for extra eyes on us. It's good to finally meet you," he finished, offering his hand, which Orlando shook.

"And you, sir, it's an honor," Orlando replied. "I appreciate you being willing to meet me like this. I know it must seem a little odd, but when I tell you why, I hope you'll understand my reasons."

Kaidan gestured for the junior man to sit. "Okay, well, if you're ready to talk, I'm ready to listen."

Orlando took his seat and sighed, clearing his throat. "Your dad's a decent guy, you know? Especially considering he's more old school, pre First Contact training and all. He showed up at the outpost about three weeks into things, and signed back up. He was kind of a hard ass, but that was a good thing, and helped, actually, with the folks that hadn't served before."

"You're regular Alliance, aren't you?"

"Yes sir, been in for about six years," Orlando explained. "Anyway, it didn't take folks long to put together the last names, Alenko isn't exactly the most common one. When they made you a Spectre, everybody was talking about it. He seemed real proud, but he didn't talk about you all that often. His wife though, he talked about her a lot. That's your mom?"

Kaidan nodded. "Yeah, they've been married almost forty years."

Orlando took a drink of beer. "He uh, he was, he was real worried about her. It ate at him, leaving her, you could see it."

Kaidan again nodded but didn't speak, he wanted the kid to share what he needed.

"Anyway, we saw some real nasty fighting northwest of the city, about ten clicks from here and we lost a lot of good people," the young man continued. "It was the first time we saw cannibals, disgusting damned things, they really used to creep me out. Not many of us got outta that one."

"Yeah, it's the banshees that used to get to me."

"Those are just fucking awful," Orlando agreed with a nervous laugh. "Cured me of my fascination with Asari women, I can tell you that." He forced a smile, his fingers drumming on the tabletop.

"You're probably not the only one."

Orlando cleared his throat again. "Your dad and I were holed up together after the fight. We were holding the area until another squad could come, our numbers were too thin and we were all separated. We were talking about what was coming at us, how we'd even get through it, and he broke down. He was worried about your mom, about her being alone with those…things out there. I told him to leave."

Kaidan stared, blinking slowly. "What?"

Orlando nodded quickly, his color draining. "I…I uh, told him that we were probably all gonna die anyway and he should go to her, that he should go protect what he needed to," he rambled. "I'm sorry, sir, he isn't MIA. He left, he went home and I…I lied about it."

Kaidan processed the man's words and felt disgust bubble within. "Are you telling me my father _deserted_? That he left on his own?"

"I was the ranking survivor of the fight. I listed him as MIA so they wouldn't go after him, and, uh, well, because I didn't want you mixed up with it, you know? You're a goddamned hero, everybody looks up to you, to Shepard, to the whole crew of the Normandy. That's why I didn't want to email it to you, so no one would be able to –"

"To know my dad is a _coward_?"

"No, sir, no, he's not! Honest," Orlando replied, his voice cracking. "We were so shook up after that fight, sir. He asked me, would he be wrong if he just went to get her, I thought maybe he meant he'd come back with her, you know? But it doesn't matter. I told him to go, it was me."

Both men grew silent and Orlando nervously gulped down his beer.

Kaidan took a deep breath, trying to manage his emotions, and forced a calm tone. "Did he say where he was headed?"

"Someplace called Lively? Lonely?"

"Likely," Kaidan corrected, his voice hard. "He was going to Likely."

Orlando nodded, swallowing loudly. "That's it. Listen, sir, I'm sorry. I never should have encouraged him, we just…nothing seemed right after that fight. I was wrong and I never should have –"

"No, Lance Corporal, you _shouldn't_ have," Kaidan snapped, his eyes flashing with anger. The other man's face paled further as Kaidan struggled to rein in his anger. "Thank you, I appreciate you telling me the truth."

Orlando's eyes widened with panic. "Wait! Sir, will you turn me in?"

"I should, Orlando. We needed every able-bodied person fighting. But no, my father's decision isn't your doing and you're still needed by the Alliance. I've got to go."

Orlando nodded. "Thank you, sir. Really. And I'm sorry."

Kaidan put his glass down and pushed away from the table. "Good luck," he said and left the bar.

**xXx**

Kaidan's omni-tool pinged and he glanced down to see the alert. It was from Kate.

_On our way. Wait until you see this thing!_

He was seated in their room at the VOQ at the small dinette. He sipped his energy drink and then replied.

_I'm at the room._

Her reply was immediate.

_How'd it go?_

His jaw ground and he realized he didn't want to answer, his anger hot in his belly. He tossed the omni-tool aside and ignored the next two soft pings when they came in.

Closing his eyes he sat back, his thoughts lost in what Orlando had revealed.

His relationship with his father had always been a hard one. The reality of the Alenko family was a disjointed one.

His mother loved him, but she'd spent most of his childhood afraid of what he could do, and so he'd eventually learned not to relax around her. His father did his best, but resented his son's status as a biotic and hid his feelings behind all manner of criticisms and lectures on duty and manhood.

He shook his head at that thought. _Duty_. With a harsh laugh, he wished like hell his energy drink was a whiskey.

The door to the room quietly 'whirred' its lock opening and a smiling Kate stepped inside.

"Hey," he greeted, his mood subdued.

"Hey!" she replied, a smile on her face. "You didn't answer me earlier, everything okay?"

"Sorry," he said, his tone flat.

"How'd everything go?" she asked as she approached. She grabbed a water bottle and sat down next to him at the dinette, her smile still bright. "You won't believe the truck I got us, I think it's older than Hackett! But it's a good one, and...wow, you're really not happy."

He didn't look up, simply fidgeted with his drink. "No," he rasped. "No, I'm not."

She cautiously set her water bottle down and watched him, arching an eyebrow. "What happened? Did Orlando no-show?"

"He was there."

"Okay." She studied him for a minute as she waited for his reply. Slowly, she realized he wasn't upset, he was furious. "Kaidan. What happened? What did he tell you?"

She watched as he stood, the chair scraping loudly against the floor and it wobbled on two legs for a moment before clattering onto its back. He stormed across the room and looked out the window, his hands fisted at his side.

"He told me my father left!"

"He did what?" she stammered, slowly getting to her feet. "Why would he say –"

"My father, the man who practically spewed the definition of duty and honor at me, left his unit! He ran, Kate, he went _home_!"

"Are you…wait, are you telling me he _deserted_? But, then, how the hell is it he's listed as MIA?"

"Orlando didn't want my name mixed up with it, so he kept his mouth shut. He watched my father leave!"

"Why?"

"Does that even matter, Kate?" he demanded, his eyes alight with anger. "Does it matter why he left? If he was scared or worried about my mother? What gives him the right to leave? To let another person fill his slot!"

"He's your dad, Kaidan, there's –"

"_He's a goddamn deserter_!" he shouted, spinning around to face her. "He ran away when the people here needed him! He had combat experience, Kate! Orlando said he'd helped with new trainees! How dare he just walk away!"

She held his intense gaze and nodded. "Okay. If this is true –"

"It's true, Kate!" he spat and then closed his eyes, his face tight with anger. He drew a breath. "If you'd been there, if you'd seen this kid, Kate, you wouldn't doubt him. He was scared shitless of what I'd do, of his part in it, but he still confessed. He wanted to set things right."

"Fine, but if he did all that, doesn't he know _why_ your father did this?"

He paced. "He went after my mother."

"Alright," she said evenly. "Now what? What do you want to do about it?"

"Nothing's changed," he replied, his voice icy calm. "We're still going. He headed to Likely and that's where my mom was hiding out."

She knew from his tone that he was struggling to contain his fury, his hurt at what he'd learned. She nodded and tried to offer any reassurance she could.

"We're ready to go," she explained softly." Everything you wanted set up is done, what you requested from the quartermaster this morning was at the depot where we left the truck tonight. I signed for the conversion of credits to vouchers and Hernandez will have them tomorrow. We can leave as soon as we get them, if that's what you'd still like to do."

His nostrils flared and he gave her a curt nod, his whole body rigid. She walked to him, stopping right in front of him, her eyes locked with his.

"Kaidan, you don't know everything yet," she said hesitantly. "There're two sides to every story."

"If we get to Likely and he's there, Kate, then I won't _care_ what his side of the story is."

She nodded and reached out, her fingers grazing the front of his uniform and he pulled away a step, his eyes on the floor.

"I'm going for a walk," he said in a low voice and he moved past her, the door sliding quietly shut behind him.

_**Thank you, Lisa for an exceptional beta. I am very grateful for your extra attention to the detail, and you're always so conscientious of the goal of the chapter, helping me to stay focused on the big picture. I can't thank you enough! **_

_**Thank you, Michele for taking a break from your own story, "A Brother's Love", to check for canon. **_

_**If you're a Thane fangirl in anyway, check out Michele's story latest, her author name is Liso66 on this site.**_


	16. Pee Before Leaving

**Pee Before Leaving**

The morning was gray and the air heavy with rain that had yet to fall.

Kate had risen early to shower and dress, careful not to wake Kaidan as she organized their personal belongings. She set aside a pair of tactical pants and a dark t-shirt for her husband to wear, before checking their side arms for readiness. Strapping a holster through the belt loops of her pants, she locked the lower clips around her right thigh and checked her Paladin's safety before she secured it to her leg.

Methodically, she went through each of their weapons, checking them for cleanliness, as well as ensuring those that wouldn't be carried on their person weren't loaded. She set aside the thermal clips, sliding each into its storage container and stowed them with the other equipment. Finally, she laid out what Kaidan would carry and then locked the weapons case. It would stack neatly with the rest of their supplies in the back of the truck.

She sighed, realizing she'd run out of things to keep her busy and that the time was growing late. Hernandez had already messaged her that their vouchers and the truck were ready, and he'd be meeting them at the VOQ to finalize the exchange as well as provide a few last minute items. Poking her head into the bedroom, she saw that Kaidan was still soundly asleep.

Despite being fairly certain he'd only gotten a few hours of sleep, she decided to wake him, though she regretted the necessity. He'd returned to their room late in the night and had stayed awake, working on his laptop. She wasn't sure when he'd come to bed.

Her husband was a man who believed wholly in the value of dedication and duty, so much so that he struggled with anything that fell short of those ideals. A good person, in his estimation, didn't give up and they didn't neglect their responsibilities. Kaidan met every mission or situation with an almost infallible commitment to its success, his moral compass not allowing him to deviate from duty's path.

Lance Corporal Orlando had no idea the burden his confession had placed on Kaidan's shoulders. Her husband would demand a full accounting of his father's reasoning, but Kate knew there was likely little the senior Alenko could say that would overcome Kaidan's disgust. That was, of course, if the man was even still alive.

Everything about this journey had changed; she just hoped she could give Kaidan what he needed to get through it.

Quietly, she entered the bedroom and moved to open the curtains slightly, allowing light to filter into the room. As she reached the bed, he stirred and rolled from his belly on to his back, stretching. She sat down.

"Hey, handsome," she said softly, reaching out to touch his face. "Good morning."

His brown eyes slowly opened and met her green ones. "Hey," he mumbled groggily. He noticed she was dressed, his eyes moving to the crack in the curtains. "What time is it?"

"Nearly eight," she replied. "I'm sorry to wake you up."

He sat up quickly, the white sheet falling aside, revealing his olive skin and dark chest hair. "No, it's late. We need to get going."

She stood and let him move past her. He had nearly left the bedroom before he stopped, bracing one hand against the door jamb. He scrubbed his face with his other and turned around, looking at her. He glanced down for a moment before moving to her, his arms sliding around her waist, and held her close.

"I'm sorry," he said in a gravelly tone. "I'll do my best not to be too… distracted by what Orlando told me. I shouldn't have left last night."

He stepped back and began to leave again, but she caught his wrist and he met her eyes. "You don't have a reason to apologize. Are you okay? Can I help?"

He smiled half-heartedly and pulled her against him, kissing her softly. "That helps," he whispered. "Having you here is all I need." She nodded as he kissed her again, and then he rested his forehead against hers. "I should get showered."

"Right," she replied softly, following him toward the bathroom. "I put out your clothes and gun. Everything else is packed and secured," she explained. "Hernandez will meet us here when we're ready, he took the truck to the maintenance depot last night to have it checked out, and I had a couple of mods installed. He also has the vouchers and hopefully some more information on the condition of the roads we're taking today."

He stripped and turned on the shower, her eyes tracking him appreciatively until he pulled the shower curtain closed.

"Sounds like you two have it all covered," he said. "So, tell me about this truck. I can see you're excited."

"It's old, babe," she warned him with a laugh, "but it fired up like a champ and it's been updated a few times over, so it'll work with the more rudimentary items on our omni-tools."

The water splashed and she guessed he was rinsing his hair. "How rudimentary are we talking about? How old is old?"

"It was made in 2129," she confessed, biting her lip as she waited for his reaction. She didn't wait long.

The curtain slid back and he stuck his head outside of the shower. "Are you kidding me?"

"No," she replied with a grin and a shake of her head. "It runs good, I promise."

"Kate, do you have any idea where it is we're headed to?" he asked. "Do you really think that a fifty-four year old truck can make it through that kind of brush and undergrowth?"

"It's an old Land Cruiser, my grandpa had one just like it. The engine and transmission are less than eight years old, the suspension, axles and basic electrical systems worked great," she explained. "It's a true four-wheel drive, not all-wheel, like you wanted, and it's been raised slightly so it should do okay in with debris. It's kind of like a mini-Mako."

He turned off the shower and stepped out, toweling off. "So, okay, all that sounds good," he admitted, "but that's still a really old vehicle."

"Kaidan, we were lucky to find anything that even started," she reminded him, crossing her arms. "There aren't exactly a lot of vehicles out there to choose from, and honestly, it's a solid truck. I really think you'll be happy with it. Now, if we happen to come across an unscathed sky car dealership…"

He smiled slightly. "Okay, you made your point. I agree, finding anything in the city that isn't stripped to its chassis is probably pure luck. Why'd Hernandez keep it overnight?"

"He took it to the maintenance depot so the mechanics there could go over it. Also, the computer had a lot of glitches and he thought they may be able to clean it up. It connected with my omni-tool, but the signal wasn't consistent and I don't think it could have held power long enough to play music, let alone maintain a distress alert."

He finished dressing and began to shave as she sent a message to Hernandez that they would be leaving within the hour. By the time they were ready to leave, the thunderous engine of the old truck could be heard, even before it came into sight.

"Oh, he's coming!" she exclaimed and, with an excited grin, she hurried outside.

Kaidan laughed at her genuine excitement and walked with her. "Kate. Can we both agree that _I'll_ be doing the driving?" he asked, baiting her good-naturedly.

She whirled around just as Hernandez came around the building corner in the black Cruiser. "No! No, we cannot both agree to that!"

He put his hands on his hips, forcing a serious look as he bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. "Look, I remember when we had to deploy off the SR-1 in the Mako. Half the danger of those missions was riding with you to our objective. The city's seen enough destruction, Kate."

She scowled and began to sputter, her color rising as she pointed at him. "I did… hey, I _can_ drive! You take it –"

He laughed and kissed her temple. "I can't wait to tell Garrus how easily you fell for that," he said against her ear as he stepped past her to greet Hernandez. "Good morning, Ensign. I hear this thing is quite a vehicle. Thanks for getting it checked out for us."

**xXx**

A half hour later, their gear secured in the rear of the Cruiser, Hernandez handed the packet of vouchers to Kate as Kaidan shut the rear door of the old truck. The bench seat in the back of the vehicle had long ago been removed, affording a great deal more storage space. Besides the two front seats, the console, gears and the computer in the dash, the truck had been stripped bare on the inside.

The crew at the maintenance depot had successfully updated the computer, including boosting the power it would pull from the engine while it was running. The capacity of the systems back-up batteries had also been improved and Hernandez demonstrated that they could now link their omni-tools with the computer, something that, once they reached the more remote interior, would be critical to keeping their personal tools charged.

Kaidan had carefully checked their supplies, including inspecting the two spare tires. One was stored under the rear of the truck and another had been put with the gear; it wasn't a perfect match but it would work in a pinch.

"We're good," Kaidan announced, locking the rear gate and tugging on it once before he walked to the front of the truck, where Kate and Hernandez were. They had a large map, one made of real paper, much to Kaidan's surprise, spread over the hood of the truck. "Wow. I've only seen paper maps at the Academy library. Where'd you get it?"

Kate looked up and smiled. "Ensign Hernandez got it from one of the scouting patrols."

"It's beautiful, look at all the detail," he replied, admiring it. "We'd better study up. I don't know that we should count on any real guidance from the computer. That kind of support network has to be pretty low on the Alliance's list of things to get running again."

"It is, sir, you're right about that," Hernandez said. "Besides, the roads that would function as the landmarks for that type of system really don't exist right now, too many landscapes leveled and folks are still living like nomads. And don't worry about remembering all this, sir, it's a gift from the 204th."

Kaidan mouth gaped. "That's incredibly generous, Hernandez, but your patrol groups must surely need to hang on to it. _Likely_ and the areas near it are very rural and have hardly ever changed. I'm pretty confident we'll be okay."

"First off, sir, the unit that donated this really wants you two to take it. Four of the squad members sat up last night making their own individual copies by hand, so you could keep the original. Secondly, it's not the area surrounding Likely that I think you'll need this for," Hernandez continued. "I was just showing the commander a couple of key things on it, and why you need this. May I?"

"Please, of course, continue," Kaidan agreed. "And tell that patrol unit we're grateful."

Hernandez smiled. "I will, sir, ma'am. They got a real shot in the arm, knowing they'd be helping you out. Now, as I was showing the commander, these areas highlighted in yellow are locations that are deemed current 'hot zones', meaning the patrols have encountered problems with the people holding those locations."

"What's the definition of 'problem'?" she asked, noticing there were at least three areas colored yellow.

"Well, let's just say these spots are prone to trouble," Hernandez explained. "Those areas have a reputation for looting, bandits or general harassment of travelers. There are extra patrols there, of course, and we're working hard to make our presence felt, but at least two groups in this area," the ensign tapped the map, "are semi-organized and can be hostile towards outsiders, even if you're Alliance."

"Why? I mean, do these groups have a reason or are they just taking advantage of the chaos?" Kaidan inquired.

"Honestly, sir, we're not entirely sure. My best guess is there are some mercenary groups looking after themselves," he replied. "It's hit or miss and some spots go weeks without any trouble at all, and then, there'll be a flurry of activity. All I wanted you to know is that there are places you'll need to keep an eye out and be aware of your safety."

"Thanks, Hernandez," Kate said sincerely, offering her hand, which the young man shook. "You're a credit to the 204th and have been a huge help."

"My pleasure, ma'am," Hernandez replied with a grin. "It's been an honor to give back to you two, even in the smallest of ways. We'd all be Reaper paste by now if it wasn't for the Normandy."

Kate chuckled. "Somehow, Ensign, I doubt that, but thanks."

Kaidan opened the passenger door and Kate hopped inside. Closing the door, he then extended his hand to Hernandez. "We'll see you back here as soon as we can, Hernandez. You're a good soldier, and we'll tell Hackett you did a decent job babysitting us."

The ensign blushed. "Uh, thanks, sir, I think," he replied as he walked around to the driver's side with the major. He stepped aside as Kaidan got into the truck and cranked the engine. "Oh, and I put in a supply of ethanol conversion tablets, sir, ma'am. It's in the red lockbox and I set the lock code to SR-2."

"This thing runs on _ethanol_? Are you telling me it's that old?" Kaidan sputtered, looking at Kate.

Kate rolled her eyes and otherwise ignored Kaidan's comment. Instead, she answered Hernandez. "I like the code! Thanks for getting the tablets, I'd forgotten."

"No problem, ma'am," he said, stepping back as Kaidan shifted the truck into gear. "Good luck, sir. I hope you find your family and they're in good health."

"Thank you, Ensign," Kaidan answered. "See you soon."

With that, Hernandez backed up another step and saluted. As the old Land Cruiser's engine growled to life, he sighed, watching as the Alenkos pulled away.

**xXx**

Cortez stepped off the elevator and paused outside of the CO's quarters. Tapping a console at the side of the door, he waited patiently for his hail to be answered.

"Esteban," James said happily as the door slid open. "I'm comin' down soon, I promise. I know I'm late."

"I only came up to see if you needed any help."

"Nah, I'm nearly done. I just have to read this report Adams put together before I forward it onto Hackett's exec. Three minutes, tops."

Cortez looked around the cabin, its emptiness still striking to him, and sighed. "It's weird they're gone," he commented, his eyes on the pegs that used to hold all of Shepard's replica ships. "So, you settling in okay up here?"

"No. You _know_ I didn't want the space," James grumbled as he read the data pad. "Traynor shouldn't have just moved my stuff."

"She's trying to look out for you, man," Cortez argued as he noticed James's belongings were still mostly in his ruck packs. "She knows you need a place of your own, even if it _is_ temporary. Once Liara's off ship, and you're back from Oz, you'll get the XO quarters downstairs."

"I can deal with that when the time comes, but it's not cool, man, sleeping in their bed. I don't even _want_ to think about what's gone on there. Last night, I sacked out on the couch."

Cortez laughed. "I remember when you seemed to have a little thing for Shepard, Vega. Don't tell me you never thought about – "

"Hey! Watch it, Esteban! It was a long damn time ago, before she and the major worked things out. And it wasn't a _thing_; it was more like puppy love, okay?" James said quickly, blushing a beet red. "And that's _not_ the point. I shouldn't be up here, I'm not the CO."

"Well," Cortez said slowly, shrugging. "Neither is she."

James sighed and ran a hand through his buzz cut styled hair. "No. No, she's not," he said sourly, tossing the data pad onto the desk. "Done, man. Let's go. Tonight, I plan on not worrying about any of this stuff and teaching a particular Turian how to lose his credits at poker."

With a laugh, Cortez turned to head toward the door, but something caught his eye in the fish tank and he pulled to a stop. "Hey, James? When was the last time you fed those fish?"

James looked around his desk and studied the tank. "Uh, I haven't. Why?"

"Because that big one just ate a little one," he said, pointing to one of the larger fish.

"Shit, again?" James complained as he jumped up and watched the fish. "I thought maybe that's what that one did. How often do you feed them?"

"I'm guessing more often than _never_," the pilot laughed. "Where's the VI the commander had set up?"

"There's a VI? Hell, turn it on!"

Cortez's omni-tool glowed as he enabled the VI, the panel on the wall blinking once to respond. "There. You should be able avoid further fish cannibalism."

Both men moved into the hall and as they stepped onto the elevator, they watched the fish disappear from view as the cabin doors closed.

"Hey, Steve?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't tell Shepard."

Cortez laughed and clapped a hand on his friend's shoulder. "No problem, man. No problem."

**xXx**

They'd cleared the outskirts of the city about two hours after leaving the compound. Kate had the map open across her lap and the dashboard, studying it as they went, checking off landmarks and monitoring their progress.

After the first two major debris fields had been cleared with almost no difficulty, Kaidan had stopped commenting on the potential perils of the truck she'd chosen for their trip. By midday, both were ready for a break from the road, or more accurately, the meandering, crater filled, often non-existent path that used to be a road.

A short stop was all they took. Kaidan was eager to press on, wanting to camp well east of the highlighted areas on the map Hernandez had given them. Once underway, Kate took the wheel.

Hours passed and the sun traveled to the far side of the sky. The highway was less treacherous the further they got from Vancouver and they were both relaxed, the windows open and the warm breeze buffering their skin.

With a smile, she watched him out of the corner of her eye as he shared a story from his first year in the Alliance. He was smiling, his posture easy, his hair tousled. He wore a pair of aviator style sunglasses, a pair he'd had for years, but she'd only seen him wearing once before.

"What are you smiling at?" he asked and she blushed, realizing he'd caught her not paying attention to his story.

"Nothing."

He laughed. "Nothing? Nope, not buying that one, Kate. You've got quite a grin there, beautiful, you seem pretty pleased with yourself."

She arched an eyebrow and shook her head. "I am," she grinned. "I'm sorry, my mind wandered, that's all. Finish your story," she said over the engine noise and the wind.

"Where'd your mind get to?"

She focused on the road, her smile still in place. "You," she confessed. "I was just thinking about how sexy you look sitting there. You're relaxed and laughing and you're just so… you. I love it!"

He chuckled. "I guess there're worse things for you to be thinking about," he admitted, shifting in his seat and reclining slightly. "You're the only one I've ever done this with, you know that?"

"Drive a beater truck across the interior?"

"No," he drawled, smiling.

"Peed on the side of a road with?"

He took off his sunglasses and rubbed his face, laughing. "No, but that was fun, watching you try to not pee in your boot."

She giggled. "I thought I did pretty well for being a space kid."

"I meant _relax_," he laughed. "You're the only person I've ever just been able to let go with, to not worry about being too… I don't have to be careful around you. I can just be myself."

Her smile slipped. "Kaidan, that can't be true. There's got to have been someone –"

He put his glasses back on. "Nope, not since I was a little kid."

"What about your parents? Your mom?"

"Kate, you may not realize it, but the relationship you had with your mother amazes me," he said. "I'd have done anything to have something like that with my parents, but it's not who they are. So yeah, you're the first person that I can say anything to, can completely let go with."

"I'm sorry."

He shook his head and reached out, caressing her cheek. "Hey, don't be, I'm not. It's made me grateful for how deeply you love me. I'm perpetually astonished at the size of your heart, Kate. And I can promise you this, I'll never take it for granted."

She turned her head and kissed his palm.

"Now," he continued, sitting back again. "Can I finish my story? Or should I just sit here and let your mind wander?"

She laughed. "Kaidan?"

"What?"

"I am so ripping your clothes off when we stop."

_**Thank you, Lisa, for your mad beta skillz! But you still totally owe me a Coke...**_

_**Thanks to Liso66 for taking a peek at the canon and doing so in a flash! **_

_**I'd really like to thank each of you for reading and reviewing. Your reviews make my day and keep me busy brain busy with the next chapter :) Also, I'd like to thank WarHarp for the very generous review, I wasn't able to send you a proper note, so please know how appreciative I am.**_


	17. If You Teach A Shepard To Fish

**If You Teach a Shepard to Fish…**

The friends were gathered around the Normandy's poker table, drinks full and pockets growing lighter with each hand. The commander and major had left two and a half days ago and everyone was in a rowdy mood, each needing to blow off some emotional steam.

"Son of a bitch!" James exclaimed, throwing down his hand. "That's the third freakin' time in a row, Garrus!"

The Turian grinned as he pulled his earnings towards him. "Vega, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, you can't top me. Might be time to just admit I'm the better man and quit ramming your giant head against the same brick wall."

"You wish!" James argued, laughing weakly. "Another hand?"

"James, you've lost nearly everything," Traynor said quietly from the lounge. "Perhaps it's best to call it a night."

"Listen to your mother, Vega," Garrus joked, "and go get ready for bed."

Liara giggled as the men continued, Joker sniggering happily at their banter from the opposite seat.

"I'm not quitting until I get my money back from Garrus!" James declared.

"James, I'm afraid human life spans aren't long enough for you to do so," quipped the Asari scientist with a cheeky grin.

"Oh _damn_, James!" Joker laughed. "The nicest person on the ship just burned you! It's time to call your luck DOA and get out while you've still got some pride, man!"

"Nice, Liara, _real_ nice," James grumped, but brightened when Liara winked at him. He waggled his eyebrows in return.

"Don't get any ideas there, James," Traynor teased. "All you're getting is a wink!"

"That's right! Liara's spoken for, isn't that right, _Traynor_?" Joker asked, looking pointedly at the specialist. "But hey, later on, if you two are feeling the need to rip each other's clothes off and express your devotion to one another, I think we'd all be good with that, wouldn't we fellas?"

The pilot laughed as he was pelted with a few cheese puffs, Garrus brushing them aside as he dealt the new hand.

"Have either of you heard from the commander or major?" Liara asked James and Garrus as she sorted her cards.

"Yeah, I talked with her a little last night. Sounded like they were nearly ready to go," Garrus replied. He fanned his cards and took a sip of his drink. "They were supposed to be leaving for Likely this morning. She was excited, she'd found a truck to handle the lack of roads."

"Hope Kaidan's got his Dramamine with him," quipped Joker. "God knows, everybody would come off the Mako green as hell if Shepard had driven."

Liara pulled a face. "Goddesses, I hated that thing."

"How far is that from Vancouver? I've never heard of the place and I spent a year at HQ," Steve asked, looking up from his data pad.

"Esteban, are you still working? Put it down, man!"

Steve chuckled. "No, I'm not, I'm reading. I'm hooked on a novel Traynor told me about," he replied, stretching as he got to his feet. "I can't put it down and I'm almost at the end. Thanks for the recommendation."

"Oh!" Traynor said with a grin. "The one about the Tuskegee airmen? I knew you'd like it!"

"So how far is Likely?" Steve asked again.

"Shepard said it was about six hundred kilometers northeast of Vancouver," Garrus answered. "Dealer takes two," he announced, switching out two cards before he continued. "If there are any roads left to speak of it should take them about a day, so not that long."

"Of course, Shepard said that Kaidan's family lived outside of Likely, not directly in the town," Liara added. "I don't believe it's too far beyond it though, around fifty miles further. I hope things are going well."

"Are you kidding me? It's _Shepard_, of course things _won't_ go well," Garrus said with a snort. "Look, you guys know I adore her but she's always got something happening to her. It never fails."

James shrugged. "Yeah, but she always pulls it off, doesn't she? I mean, she's survived her own death, been through the Omega 4 relay and taken down a twenty story pissed off robot while scurrying around its feet like an ant. What's a few moose gonna do to her? Besides, she's got the major. He won't let anything happen to her."

"True enough," Garrus agreed, glancing at his omni-tool. "Let's move this along, boys, I've got to go meet Tali soon. These late hour tech retrievals are killing our quality time together, I can't wait for Hackett to get her some more help."

"Garrus," Liara began, not looking up from her hand. "How is it that you didn't stow away in Shepard's shuttle to Earth? I half expected you to find some reason to tag along."

The Turian shrugged. "Okay, I'll admit that it crossed my mind. But Shepard's a big girl and Kaidan's got things covered."

"That and she'd have kicked your Turian ass all the way back to the Normandy," Joker added, pulling a face. "I can just see her, turning that crazy puce color she gets when she's trying not to blow her stack."

James snorted. "Seen that one a couple of times. That vein in her forehead is crazy as hell."

The friends laughed and then fell into a sad moment of silence, the missing presence of the commander and major suddenly very profound.

"Well hell," Garrus sighed. "I guess this is the part where we all admit we miss them?"

Joker tossed his cards down and slowly stood from the table. "For the record? This whole thing sucks balls."

"Amen, my brother," Steve agreed. "But we can't change it, so we've got to make the best of it."

"And we will," Liara added. "It will just take some getting used to, that's all."

"We might get used to it, but it won't suck any less," Joker countered with a frown. "I call."

Garrus sighed, reclining in his chair. "No, it won't, but we all know whining about it won't change a damned thing. It is what it is, and I for one don't intend to sit around and mope about it, like our boy Vega here. I'm more of a 'sunny side of the street' kind of guy."

"Hey, I'm _not_ moping," James argued.

"No, but you're about to be," Garrus replied, a grin on his face. "Read 'em and weep, Vega, full house."

"_Son of a_ _bitch_!"

**xXx**

They stopped their truck about four miles off the road as the sun began its descent. The ride had been comfortable and surprisingly uneventful, something Kaidan was extremely pleased about. If things continued as they'd been, they would reach the border of Likely by midday tomorrow.

Together they planned their camp layout and he began to unload their vehicle. Skeptically, she watched him unload the rear of the Land Cruiser and set aside the crate of goods for their camp, her eyebrow arching high.

"That's a big box of stuff you've got there, Kaidan."

"Yup."

"I know we're _technically_ homeless at the moment, but isn't that a lot of gear?"

"Well, let's see," he replied as he pulled the tailgate closed and moved to the crate. "We've got a stove, a good quality tent and some other basic goods. I figured it was better to have the bases covered, it's not likely that we'll find a place to pick up what we're missing."

Picking up a dark green metal case, she turned it in her hands.

"That's the stove," he said. "Do you want to get that put together for us?"

"Uh, sure," she said with hesitation, turning the stove over again. "So, what's for dinner?"

"Why are you asking me? I recall you telling me you knew how to cook," he teased and was rewarded with an eye roll.

"I _do_, but I don't see a grocery store around here, Alenko."

"There's a river about two hundred meters that way," he answered, pointing down a glade that was to the left of their campsite. "The trout up here is delicious."

"Uh huh. And are the fish going to volunteer to jump out and into the pan?"

"Probably not. I guess you'll have to go fishing," he replied casually as he slid the tent out of its sheath and unrolled it, beginning to sort the various poles and ties he'd need to assemble it.

She snorted inelegantly. "Oh my God, you're so cute, that's funny," she gushed. "But, no really, what are we doing for dinner?"

He paused and met her gaze, mischief alight in his brown eyes. Straightening, he moved toward their supply crate and retrieved a small case, which he held out to her.

"What? Is dinner in here?"

"No, but a fishing pole is," he replied with a chuckle. "So are several lures, two spools of line and the hooks and pliers you need for weighing down the lines. I'm sure you can dig up some bait by the river's side."

Both her eyebrows shot up as she stared at the case.

"Kaidan Alenko, you have lost your ever-loving mind. Do I need to remind you that I grew up on frigates and cruisers? There's no fishing on cruisers. Have you ever seen anyone fishing on a cruiser?"

"Nope," he answered, his grin wide. "But I have faith in you. Just put together the rod and start casting. I'll be down as soon as I get the tent up and staked."

"Kaidan!"

He stepped next to her and put the case into her hand, trying not to laugh at the look of horror on her face. Her nose was crinkled and her green eyes round as saucers.

"You can do this, Kate. What's a couple of rainbow trout compared to taking on the Reapers?"

She looked down at the case, her lips drawn into a tight line. "Damn it," she groaned. "Where's this river?"

Turning, he pointed to the left of the camp. "Not too far and then down the hill. You can't miss it."

Without another word, she marched from the camp, fishing rod case clenched in her hand.

**xXx**

The gunshots had him running.

It had taken him nearly an hour to get the rest of the camp established. He put up the tent, secured its fly, rolled out their sleeping bags, assembled the stove and even rigged a small latrine area so Kate wouldn't be forced to squat, but he'd dropped everything when he'd heard the shots.

Now, moving at a full sprint through the woods, he was weaving in and out of the trees as he approached the drop down toward the riverbed. He felt the familiar tingle of his biotics as he prepared to fight whatever was threatening her.

"Kate!" he shouted, his heart hammering in his chest. He heard a yell and then two more shots in rapid succession. "_Kate_!"

He reached the edge of the small ravine that dropped him down to the rocks at the river's edge and leapt off the six foot drop, landing hard but not falling, as he returned to a full run. He rounded a wooded bend, the lush branches of an old maple tree drooping low at the edge of the water, effectively obstructing his view.

He burst through the leaves, his biotics fully charged and his hand on his sidearm, his thumb flicking off the release of its holster as he looked for Kate.

And then he saw her.

Standing atop a boulder, her handgun drawn and trained at the water, was his soaking wet wife.

"Kate!" he yelled as he closed the distance between them.

"Hey!" she replied cheerily, not looking back at him, her eyes still on the water. She gestured to the water's edge. "Look how many I've caught! I hope you're hungry!"

He didn't see a threat, his eyes searching the woods and area surrounding her as he approached. "Why is your gun drawn? Are you okay? I heard shots!"

"I'm fine! My gun's out because your fishing pole is broken," she explained easily. "The little thing that holds the string is a tangled mess, babe."

He stared at her for a moment, his heart still thudding in his chest as his biotics cooled. "Jesus, Kate. I thought someone was attacking you!" he exclaimed as he blew out a breath.

"No, I'm sorry, I'm fine. Seriously, go look at the fish!"

He ran a hand through his hair and came over to the base of the boulder she was still standing on. "What are you doing?"

"I'm fishing!"

"Why is your gun…" he paused, finally looking over at the small pile of fish she'd pointed at, noticing that each one had a clean hole through its body. "Kate are you… you're not _shooting_ the fish, are you? _Are you shooting the fish_?"

His strangled tone drew her full attention, and flicking the safety into place on her gun, she slowly sat down on top of the huge rock. She met his intense gaze and, surprised at his reaction, bit her lower lip, offering him a small smile.

He didn't return it.

"Maybe," she replied slowly. "Well, okay. Yes."

"What happened to the fishing pole?" he demanded through clenched teeth.

"It's kind of a tricky thing, you know, fishing with that pole," she explained hastily. "I tried to put it together, but there aren't any directions in the case and the string–"

"Line," he snapped.

"Right, uh, the _line_, kept getting all bunched up and those hooks are nasty little things," she rambled, holding up her hurt fingers to make her point. "And that pole is all… bendy, you know? I slapped myself in the face twice."

He stared at her, slowly arching a single eyebrow. "So you decided to _shoot_ them."

"No, not at first. I moved some of those loose rocks over there and built a little channel for them to swim into and when I got a few trapped, that's when I shot them."

"_Do you have any idea how stupid that was?"_ he growled. "What if your shot had ricocheted off a rock? You're not in your armor, you could have been hurt! Or worse!"

She blinked a few times and nodded. "Yes, well, that's why I climbed onto the boulder. Get a little distance between things," she answered, smiling sweetly.

His left eye twitched. "Why are you all wet?" he demanded, his tone still hard.

"Ah, um, 'cause I sort of fell off the boulder," she replied and then bent her arm, showing him her scraped elbow. "It's not bleeding anymore."

His lips drawn in a tight line, he turned and walked over to the jumbled pile of fishing equipment, snatching it up. The reel dangled from the side of the rod, its catch unlocked, and the line unwound itself loudly, spiraling onto his boot.

"Yeah, it keeps doing that," she explained quietly.

With a heavy, dramatic sigh, he dropped the pole onto the rocks.

"I thought you were in danger," he rasped, turning back to her. "I haven't run that fast…" he paused, sighing again.

She shrugged meekly. "I just wanted to take care of dinner," she explained as she began to climb down. "You had a lot to do and a lot on your mind. I didn't want to come back empty handed."

He came to the base of the boulder, putting his hand out to help her, and she grabbed it, sliding off the side of the rock and deliberately into his arms.

"You scared the hell out of me, Kate," he said quietly, looking down at her, tucking a wet, tangled lock of red hair over her ear. He shook his head. "I had no idea what was happening to you. It didn't occur to me you might be _executing_ a trout."

Smiling gently, she leaned into his touch. "I'm sorry I scared you."

He nodded. "Okay. I know you're new to all this and I really didn't think you'd have such a hard time with the kit. I guess you're not much of a fisherman," he joked half-heartedly.

"Not according to those fish _right_ over there."

"It was still a dangerous thing to do," he scolded softly. "You could have been seriously hurt, not to mention you could have drawn the attention of anyone out in these woods. You heard the same brief I did from Ensign Hernandez. Kate, there're people out here that we should be avoiding. I need you to remember that Earth isn't like it used to be."

"I haven't forgotten."

"Then please act like it," he said firmly. "Fishing here quietly isn't going to grab some scavenger's attention, but unloading a thermal clip into a fish will."

"Kaidan, while I may not be the best fisherman, I can still look after myself, you know that."

"That's not the point, Kate! It's that we shouldn't encourage a confrontation that otherwise may not happen!" he argued. "We're out here alone, there's no back-up coming, so I want you to use a little… restraint, okay?"

She sighed, realizing he was correct and, knowing he only wanted to protect her, nodded. "You're right."

"Promise me."

"I promise," she agreed. She snuggled against him and he finally, slowly, wrapped his arms around her waist.

"You smell like sweat and mud," he commented. "You need a shower."

"They don't have those out here," she replied, and then laughed softly. "Unless, of course, somewhere in those crates you packed one."

"No, sorry."

She peeked up at him, smiling. "Are you sure? You brought everything else, maybe you packed it and forgot?"

"Nope, I'm sure," he laughed softly. "But we can always wash off down here."

"You know, I've never done that," she said thoughtfully. "Have you?"

"What?"

"Gone skinny dipping."

"Well, I have, actually," he confessed. "A few times."

She smiled up at him. "When you were a kid? I bet you were adorable."

Blushing slightly, he shook his head. "Uh, sure. And maybe since then too."

Her jaw dropped and she shoved him gently, smiling. "Kaidan Alenko! I'm shocked!"

He laughed, glancing away, his cheeks bright red.

"Now I know why you sent me down here to fish," she teased. "You're trying to take advantage of me."

He shrugged and grinned. "Okay, alright! You caught me. That's been my idea all along!" he admitted before kissing her slowly. He wiped something from her cheek with his thumb, gazing down at her. "But, I gotta tell you, the splattered fish guts and mud detracts from the whole _seduction_ aspect of my plan."

She giggled, pushing herself firmly against him, wiggling her grimy, mud-streaked clothes against him as she did.

"Oh, yeah, that's just fantastic," he laughed, staggering back.

"What's the matter?" she joked, following him closely. "Did I get too dirty to skinny dip with? I guess all your other swimming buddies were all sweet smelling and clean, huh?"

He continued to back pedal, grinning widely. "Well, let's just say they didn't have fish scales in their hair." He ducked as a dead trout flew past his head. "Ha! Missed!" he declared but stumbled over a rock, falling back on his bottom.

A trout landed in his lap.

"Not that time, I didn't!" she laughed, scooping up a handful of mud. The clump spattered across his shirt and chin. "Or that time, either! Aw, now you're all dirty too."

Her eyes widened and she spun around, running down the bank as he gave chase, the dead fish in his hand.

She dashed behind the boulder she'd been fishing from and circled back around, only to find herself lifted off her feet, her body tingling as she hovered a foot off the ground.

"You're cheating!" she hollered, laughing hard as he stalked her. "Biotics are totally against the rules!"

"What rules? You just hit me with a fish!" he countered with a sly grin as he sauntered over to her. "I'm just trying to return the favor."

"Don't. You. Dare."

As his grin turned completely mischievous, he carefully balanced the fish on her head.

"You're gonna die, you know that, right?" she laughed, shaking her head hard but only managing to wiggle slightly. The fish fell. "Seriously. The end is near, Alenko."

"Well, if that's the case…" he replied huskily.

He kept a hand aloft, his biotics still holding her in place and he backed up several paces, bending at his waist to unlace his boots. He kicked them off, stripped off his socks and then pulled his shirt over his head, her stationary form bobbing slightly as his hand dipped. He unbuckled his belt, pulling his pants off, albeit awkwardly, and tossing them aside.

Her mouth went dry.

"I'm going for a swim," he said casually as he walked past her in his fitted boxers. He lowered her to her feet and released his energy field. "Care to join me?"

He stepped over the rocks and was quickly thigh deep in the water.

She hurried to strip out of her own clothes, tugging at one of her boots, hopping around until it jerked off. In short order, she was down to her bra and panties. He watched her hotly as she approached him in the center of the river, the calm water reaching the top of his shoulders.

"Holy crap this is cold!" she exclaimed, the water swirling gently around her as she moved into the slow current.

"It's early summer in Canada, Kate," he replied with a smile. "Why don't you come over here? I could keep you warm."

She smiled and stepped over a large rock, the depth increasing greatly as she did. It would be over her head where he was standing, she realized, as she swam the last few feet between them. She submerged, scrubbing her fingers through her hair and rubbing her face quickly before she surfaced next to him.

"Hey," he breathed huskily as he pulled her to him. "No more fish scales, I see."

She wrapped her legs around his waist and put her arms around his shoulders. "All clean," she whispered, pressing her hips against his middle. "Please tell me we're not here just to wash up."

"Not threatening me with an early death anymore?"

She giggled as she kissed him, his mouth hot against her cold skin. His tongue feathered across her lips and he took their kiss deeper, her heart skipping a beat as he did.

Her hands traveled his muscled arms before she wrapped herself back against him, his mouth moving to her throat. With a moan of want, her eyes fluttered open, her need shining in them as she reveled in his touch but she sensed something and turned her head.

Something on the shore moved.

"Kaidan!" she whispered urgently, her body rigid. "Someone's over there!"

He released her and changed his grip, clamping a hand firmly around her wrist, keeping her close as they moved toward a cropping of rocks close to them.

"Gee whiz, sorry to interrupt!" called out a man's voice. "I'd have said hello, but you two seemed so _involved_ in what you were doing, I didn't want to disturb you."

Together they peered around the edge of the larger rock, where they could clearly see three men, each armed, standing on the shore.

"They're nowhere near our gear," Kate whispered. "We might be able to get to it."

Kaidan studied the area, his eyes darting from the men to a cluster of rocks about four meters away.

"If we can swim underwater to those rocks, we might be able to work our way into the shore without them seeing us," he suggested.

The man on the shore continued speaking. "We heard some gunshots and thought we'd see if anyone needed our, uh," he paused, chuckling coldly, "_help_. That's a fine camp up the hill. That yours?"

Kate nodded, gesturing toward the rocks before she submerged. A few moments later, she quietly came up behind them, her eyes immediately on Kaidan. He sunk below the water's surface and followed her.

"You've got some real nice equipment up there! We sure could use a few things, and you do seem well supplied. Y'all Alliance?" the man asked, but it was obvious from his searching eyes he no longer knew exactly where Kate and Kaidan were. "Must be, nobody around here has those kinds of goodies anymore. Wonder what brings you two out here? It is just the two of you, isn't it?"

They watched as the man spoke to the man to his left, a short and bulky bald fellow, who began to move down the shoreline, clearly searching for them. Luckily, he was walking in the wrong direction.

"It can be dangerous, traveling in such a small group," continued the man. "You know, as a matter of fact, if you'd be willing to let us take a peek at your supplies, we might be able to work something out. Like, say, I take that nice stove, some thermal clips and in exchange, we'll leave that hot little red head with you alone. Whatcha think? Fair enough?"

Kaidan's eyes narrowed in fury as Kate, ignoring the man's implied threat, picked out her next spot to swim to and dipped under, swimming beneath the surface toward it. Kaidan quickly followed.

"We can't go any farther," Kate whispered. "The water's too shallow. I'm going to try and make it to my gun."

"No, we'll go together," Kaidan argued. "I can cover us both with my biotics if they see us. Kate, they're Blue Suns," he added, pointing to the men. "Look at that one's tattoos, almost every newbie recruit has one of those."

"Maybe Hernandez was right then, the trouble is from left over mercs," she replied. "Shit. I knew making that deal with Aria was asking for trouble."

"Things were different then, we needed their numbers. Are you ready to go? Go straight for our guns, I'll take care of them until you're armed."

"Ready."

"On three. One. Two. Three!"

She burst from behind the rocks and ran as fast as she could toward their small pile of clothing, her gun still secured in her holster. Kaidan was directly behind her and from the shouts of the mercs, they'd seen their movement.

"Get her!" shouted one of them as she felt the familiar charge of her husband's biotics. From the corner of her eye, she saw the third man, little more than a kid, draw his weapon.

He fired at the same moment he was thrown by Kaidan, his shot grazing her thigh before he was catapulted high in the air. Tumbling to the ground, she slammed hard into the rocks, her cheek tearing open as she plowed head-first into the unforgiving terrain.

She was back on her feet quickly, Kaidan's arm hooking hers as he caught up to her, propelling her alongside him.

"On our eight!" she called out in warning as the bald man rounded a cluster of rocks and charged them. But before Kaidan could prepare another wave of energy, the merc leapt the shortening distance between them, pulling Kaidan back and knocking both men down.

Kate ran on, finally reaching her discarded clothes. Sliding through the loose rocks and silt, she fumbled with the holster, its fabric twisted in her damp pants. After what seemed ages, she pulled the Paladin free, immediately taking aim at the merc that was still wrestling with her husband.

"Don't, you sweet thing, you don't want to do that," growled a voice close to her right.

The merc who'd been threatening them from the shore was standing only a few feet away, his weapon pointed squarely at her.

She fired at the other man anyway.

The second merc's head whipped back as her shot tore through his throat and before his body could even go limp, she'd turned to face the first man. Their gazes locked, each ready to fire at the other.

"You dumbass bitch," he hissed. "You'll pay for that."

"I doubt you'll get the chance. You should've taken your shot already," she said evenly. "Your mistake."

Kaidan arrived at her side, his face nearly as bloodied as hers, blue energy crackling all around him. It made the hair on her arms stand up.

"Carlos!" cried the merc, his eyes alight with a mixture of anger and fear. "_Get the fuck up_!" he barked to the younger man, who was still lying off in the distance from Kaidan's throw. "You two Alliance fucks are going to die! But you first, freak," he spat at Kaidan, moving his weapon to him. "Don't worry, asshole. We'll keep your girlfriend entertained after you're gone, promise!" He pulled the trigger.

Or he _nearly_ did.

Shaking violently, the man was lifted off his feet and then crumpled to his knees, a blue aura surrounding him. Kate relaxed her arm as the merc flopped forward, her eyes on her husband as his color visibly improved from his use of Reave.

"Is he dead?" she asked, her eyes searching for the young man the now-dead merc ringleader had called Carlos.

"No," Kaidan replied coldly, leaning over him and checking the man's pulse, nodding as he stood again. "He's alive, but he'll be out for a long time. Bastard, threatening you like that," he growled, his muscles tight, ready to react to any threat. "Are you okay?"

"Nothing a medi-gel won't fix. Where's the last one?"

"I tossed him hard," he answered as he retrieved his weapon. They began to move toward where the remaining merc had landed. "He may still be unconscious."

They searched the water's edge and then fanned out, each moving silently as they found and then followed the very visible trail of the last merc. There were drag marks through the loose gravel, making it clear he was injured, and the tall grass at the bend of the river was matted, forming a trail that led into the thicker wood nearby.

She signaled to Kaidan and moved to him. "We shouldn't follow much farther in; we have no idea if there are more mercs ahead. Without our gear we can't afford a firefight," she explained softly. "Let's push in another fifty feet and then circle back."

"Agreed. We'll need to get back and break the camp down. We can't stay here tonight, not with our position compromised."

She nodded. "For the record, I blame your fishing pole for all of this."

He arched an eyebrow. "As I recall, they said they came because they heard gunshots."

"Shots I wouldn't have taken if your little fishing string-thingy had worked."

"_Line_, Kate. It's called _fishing line_."

"That's not the point, babe."

He shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. "Of course it isn't."

"Oh, and by the way? I don't think you're all that good at the whole skinny dipping thing. I'm pretty sure we're not supposed to get shot at."

"Hey, I've successfully skinny dipped plenty of times and never had a problem!" he argued quietly. "If somebody hadn't resorted to mass murdering innocent trout, we'd still be in the water and you'd be a _very_ happy woman by now."

She seemed to think about his words and then finally nodded. "Okay, well, that's probably true."

"Thank you. Now, can we please find this merc and get back to camp? It's nearly dark."

She nodded and they began to move forward, their weapons at the ready.

"Wait," she whispered loudly, pausing. "Did you say _plenty_ of times? What exactly does _that_ mean, Major? Just how many women have you gone skinny dipping with in the first place?"

Her husband shot her a look and rolled his eyes, silently moving in the opposite direction.

"Oh, we are so talking about this later," she muttered as she resumed her search.

_**Thank you, Lisa, for cramming a beta in-between a double shift and the onslaught of the heat wave. Here's hoping a very cool breeze is headed your way!**_

_**Normally I would use this space to thank Liso66 for her canon check, but she's on vacation! I look forward to her return!**_

_**Thank you everyone for following and reviewing this story. I love, love, love to hear from each of you and really do appreciate your time and thoughts. Thank you!**_


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